Friday, January 16, 2015

I have a proposal to make.

I think it's wonderful that Michael Sam is engaged to his longtime boyfriend Vito Cammissano. I think it's great that a famous celebrity like Neil Patrick Harris can be married to the person he loves. I think it's fantastic that same sex couples can now get married in so many states and more are joining every day. What I don't think is great are gay couples imitating all the traditions of straight couples. Dropping to the knee to propose. Standard wedding vows. Imitations of straight weddings. Something old, something new, etc. And I really detest the term "husband". As someone who has been with his partner for 46 years I would never consider any of these charades. I propose that gay couples create their own traditions, not just blithely adapt to the ceremonies and customs they've been seeing all their shut-out lives. Do I have any suggestions? Not yet. But knowing how opinionated I am, there are likely to be some in the future. Just let's not be copycats. Anyway, that's how I feel and if my partner and I ever do get married it won't be in a church and there won't be a cake (though I am rather fond of eclairs) and neither one of us will ever consider ourselves that cringe-worthy term "husband".  What's wrong with "partner"?




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3 comments:

  1. The Cat's MeowJanuary 17, 2015 at 8:15 AM

    You don't have to throw a garter or a bouquet or cut a cake. But language is very important. One of the main reasons the gay community prioritized marriage is that, as a vital social institution of mainstream society, it legitimizes them as equals in that society more than anything else. Therefore, it's imperative that they use the same terms to refer to their spouses as straight people do. To use terms other than husband or wife would confer the separate status that they are most wanting to discard.

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  2. The Cranky CopywriterJanuary 17, 2015 at 11:24 AM

    That's a very interesting argument, and I can see the validity of it. Now I'll have to rethink my position, but I still am very uncomfortable with the term "husband".

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  3. The Cat's MeowJanuary 17, 2015 at 3:32 PM

    Perhaps it will become more acceptable with use. Also, we should consider that the term has significant legal implications. If you don't use it socially, be sure you use it legally. That is, if you guys get married.

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