In a McDonald's commercial, a young man with tousled-hair crankily rebukes several friendly people to not talk to him until he's had his coffee. I guess I'm supposed to find this rude, self-indulgent neurotic amusing, but I don't. I have always found it an irritating concept that a person can't be amiable until he or she has been pumped with caffeine. If I were scolded by such a person in the morning, I would say, "How about I don't talk to you at all." Or maybe it would be more fun to be greeted by him later in the day, after he has been restored to humanity. Then I could say, "Don't talk to me until I've had my afternoon stick of gum."
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