When I was younger, decades ago, and lived in Boston when you ordered toast in a restaurant what you got was, well, toast. You could tell because it was somewhat drier than the bread from which is was made, it was hot, and the biggest clue was it was dark from having spent time in a toaster. Well it appears those days are over, especially in Miami. Today when you order toast in a restaurant, what you receive is bread that appears to have been scanned by an electric hair dryer. I find this true everywhere I go. When I order a bagel at Starbucks, I have to tell them to toast it three times. That is the only way I get something resembling toast. Of course when I was younger, when you ordered butter what you got was, well, butter.

Note: In case any restaurateur (hate that word) is reading, this is what toast is suppposed to look like.