HELP WANTED

We, the American public, would like to replace our present slackers with persons who are willing to work more than 126 days a year. At present while these positions include many problems, we are hopeful that those problems, like their perpetrators, will soon be gone. For instance, among our Republicans personality, work ethic, honesty, fairness, loyalty and patriotisn are not job requirements. Other failings such as racism, bigotry, lying, religious obsession, adultery, hypocrisy, alcoholism on the job,  and constantly and maliciously criticizing the boss is presently not frowned upon. Salary range begins at 174,000. Among the many benefits (undeserved at the moment) are complete medical coverage, a generous pension plan, free parking, fully equipped gym, low-priced cafeteria, and private subway system. If you are honest and care about this country, we suggest you start campaigning now as we are pretty sure most of these do-nothing freeloaders whose lazy asses are filling these seats will soon be gone.