Ask Me About My Tempur-Pedic (Commercial)

This commercial is fine and completely convincing. My only real objection is that it uses the terrible cliche of having on talent after another deliver the message. But, still, I wish I had one of these beds. I'm sure it's every bit as comfortable as they say. But there is one aspect of this commercial that has always troubled me. It's one of the last male promoters. He says "Ask me how someone who's never had an ache or pain is in love with this bed." My problem is if he's never had an ache or pain, why is he so certain that it's attributable to the bed? Why doesn't he just attribute it to good health or posture or vitamins? It's the only questionable part of this otherwise convincing commercial.

"Final destination" play set.

I'm guessing this SPDR commercial is supposed to be charming and sweet. Dad is obviously not mechanically inclined and therefore cannot put the Jungle Jim together correctly. Therefore he has to use duct tape and other tricks and the result is comical. But once again, doesn't the creative team have any interest in logic and reality. Cute as this is, those children are very like to be killed or maimed if they use this deadly, jerry-built play set. Therefore the lighthearted music and cute-as-can-be dad and kids all add up to kind of a creepy commercial. Doesn't anybody question these things?

Commercial malfunction.

The premise of this Geico commercial is idiotic: "Robots work for free".Why would a copywriter even posit that absurd statement? Robots cost thousands if not millions of dollars to purchase and maintain. I could be wrong, but I suspect that when a robot breaks down, it takes a fortune to get it working again. I'm all for creative ideas. But I hate concepts that are based on a completely false premise. It may be amusing to see robots reading to and caring for children, but it's completely without any kind of reason. Geico usually does very solid commercials. This one is faulty.

Exxon's elixir salesman.

Below is another shameless scam commercial to makes us feel all warm and fuzzy about turning over our country to greedy zillionaires. In his one we have a sweet, friendly con who could be Karl Malden's son. To hear him tell it, fracking is the best thing to happen since sliced bread and the safest. Of course we won't be left with desolate landscapes, brackish water, surprisingly high cancer rates, lower real estate values and far less scenic scenery. I love that they show us verdant forests; small towns with red, white, and blue bunting; the welcoming lighting of a cozy white home; and the subliminal masterpiece the "OPEN" sign suggesting raping the land is great for the economy. While it may appear that geologist Erik Oswald is merely a spokesperson for ExxonMobil, he is actually a highly-paid executive. In fact, there is an international petition going around asking him to reconsider his career choice. As a geologist he should love the earth and care for it. Instead he leads the charge for fracking. For those who don't know the term, fracking is when chemicals are forced into the ground to get the gas released from the layers of earth. This always results in terrible pollution of the drinking water forever. So, obviously anything Oswald says on these commercials is just a gaseous iie.

ExxonMobil: Unlocking a Century's Supply of Natural Gas

You're kidding. This won an award!

I'm kind of surprised to find out that this is an award-winning commercial. I detest it. A, I don't understand it. And B., even if I did I would still find it obnoxious for it's "aren't seniors adorable?" attitude and the sense that driving is only exciting if you rev the engine and race off on your date which is, of course, only for young people. I don't know why the young man becomes instantly old. I don't know why the couple become instantly young. I don't know why the woman's son becomes the girl's father. And, frankly, I don't care. They can shower this spot with awards and I will still think it's vague and pretentious. Not only that, I really find it annoying that Chevy with their slogan "Chevy runs deep" has basically stolen the decades old slogan for Dan River linens, "Dan River runs deep." It makes sense that a river runs deep not a car. If you like this spot and know how to leave a response, please tell me what it means.

An Eve of destruction.

This actress is Brooke Alexander and she should be ashamed of herself. She is Energy Tomorrow's (the fuel industry) version of Tokyo Rose or Axis Sally, a traitor to the environment, a shill to convince us that it's to our benefit to rape the landscape, steal the nation's minerals, and—with increased fracking—do irreparable damage to the environment all for the sake of big industry profits. These slyly concocted and highly deceitful messages are designed to make us take Energy Tomorrow's (an obscenely misleading name) side in prolonging the widespread use of carbon fuels. They want us to feel it's good for the country, good for employment figures, good for everyone. Their strategy is to prolong the widespread use of carbon fuels while the truth is that if we care about out future, we should halt all CO2 emissions now. But since the flow of carbon fuels is so highly profitable to those who plunder the landscape (and few others) they'd like to continue to roll in money, blow up mountains, and steal America's natural resources. Unfortunately they need our naive cooperation and agreement. Enter the industry whore: Ms. Alexander, elegant, slender, soigne, smiling, charming and deadly as a viper.

Danger! Madwoman on the loose.

The latest mutterances from mad Michele Bachmann is that hurricanes and earthquakes are messages from God. What are the messages? She doesn't make that clear. But she's such a loon they're probably to tell the world that Michele and only Michele can lead us to the Promised Land. Already assuming she will be president, she also said she would approve of drilling for natural gas in the Everglades. So apparently she must believe the God couldn't care less if man—or, in this case, woman— destroys his magnificent river of grass among other earthly wonders disfigured by mining. It's absolutely frightening that a psycho like this evangelical, anti-gay, anti-Muslim, bigot is in the national spotlight when she should be in a Minnesota asylum. She's so brain-dead dense she doesn't even realize that her Benny Hill of a husband—who chooses all her clothes—is gayer than RuPaul. What is happening to America when truly delusional psychopaths like Sarah Palin, Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann are given credibility? Has a large part of our population become so body-snatcher-brainwashed they can't even recognize how abysmally clueless these clowns are? This is no longer funny. These zany zealots are deranged and obsessed. They seriously want to shred any kind of safety net the average American has, and half those Americans are so ignorant they want to help them.

This show is just too #$$@##$$$# crude.

I'm not a prude, but I must have a low tolerance for vulgarity. Notably, while I find Curb Your Enthusiasm very funny, I am turned off by the excessive swearing, especially from the black character Leon who only speaks in curses, epithets, and every women-debasing crudity from the f to the c words.Why does Larry David, a brilliant writer, find this so hilariously funny? And do most of the viewers? Also isn't it more than somewhat racist to make the black male character the most vulgar on the show? I don't get it. When I first started watching the show I was a bit bothered by the language. It didn't bother me that Suzie was so crude; that's her character. But I couldn't see why successful adults who, we assume, are well-educated peppered so much of their conversation with fuck and shit and every other popular swear. Is it just because it's on HBO where every show has excessive obscenities? Would Seinfeld have been as popular if Elaine, Jerry, George, and Kramer swore to the same degree as all the characters on Curb Your Enthusiasm? I know I wouldn't have watched it as often and as repeatedly. Hmmm. Maybe I am a prude.

There must have been a better line.

This commercial is fine (although I am a bit weary of limbo sets). And so are the many other Chase commercials. I do, however, question the logic of some of their billboards, which I cannot find on the internet. One suggests that $100 shouldn't cost $103.00. As a friend pointed out, it doesn't. If a competing bank charges you $3.00 to withdraw $100.00 from your account, it costs you $3.00 not a $103.00 as Chase suggests trying to be witty. I do fault Chase the same way I fault many other advertisers, for having chosen a really stupid and illogical theme line. I think "Chase what matters" makes no sense at all. You're not chasing anything. You could say with some sense of reason "choose what matters" or "pursue what matters" but not chase—even if that is your name. Duh.

Play day!

A hurricane is to broadcast news what a snow day is to school kids: a chance to avoid responsibility for a day. Right now MSNBC, CNN, and every other network, are doing the same thing: nothing. They're not covering politics, world events, other disasters. No, it's Hurricane Irene around the clock for no good reason. It's not like it needs to be covered without a break. It's just that it's easier. So instead of having to write, interview, or comment on a variety of news items, they only have to focus on one story without pause. So all they have to do is sound concerned, repeat endlessly repeated warnings, tell us how strong the wind is, and try to maintain a sense of imminent horror. Of course the on-the-scene reporters have the most fun.They get to wear their snazziest rainwear, shout above the loud winds, and stand in ankle-deep waves while the storm tries to push them over. While they take these dangerous—but macho—stances, they are quick to remind you, the viewer, to avoid risks and follow all safety rules. Of course they could give you the same report from inside but it wouldn't be nearly as dramatic and what is news after all but drama. If you're wondering what's happening in political circles, are curious about the world economy, have an interest in what's going on in Libya, or would like to know more about that bombing in Algeria, forget it. You will not find that out today. The broadcast news media is having too much fun reporting on a hurricane. No actual work will be done today.

A really cheesy commmercial.

There must be people who think this commercial is clever and amusing. There must be. I think it's really creepy, subcreative and illogical. For starters they cheaped out on casting. Obviously they didn't want to pay for the kids that she is calling from upstairs. If they had shown up and been wide-eyed at the intrusion of this leather-aproned madnman, the commercial might have worked. Nah. Then the prop man is pretty weak since the alleged drive-thru speaker looks like a shoe box painted grey. And couldn't they find a better visual than gluing the Velveeta to the frying pan? And wouldn't she have her own frying pan? If the blacksmith is supposed to be sexy (after all he is alone with her in the kitchen) another fail. He looks like an unwashed serial killer. And while the female talent is amusing, she is not particularly hilarious. Most interesting, doesn't the copywriter know the definition of smite? Smite means to strike hard, not pour, as in cheese sauce, so I really don't understand how the creatives got so hung up on this wildly inaccurate word. This is another Kraft product. I found their Oreo commercial using a variation of "Shut the fuck up" weird. Add this as a another peculiar way to present a product.

Whoa. It's a calcium supplement.

I have the greatest respect for women. I think women can do almost anything a man can and can do incredible things that a man can't. I think women should get equal pay for equal work. I think women, and only women, should be in charge of their own reproductive decisions. I think women are great. But I do not think they move the world. This seems to be the premise put forth by Caltrate in a well-done campaign designed to flatter every female. Of course while doing their many creative and inspiring commercials they never actually explain why women move the world as opposed to men who I guess just sit there watching. I'm sure if I confronted them, they would give me some explanation about how it's just a matter of semantics and, of course, men move the world, too. But that's not what these commercials say. This clearly states that women move the world and show us women running (lots of running) teaching, surfing, hiking, and filling important positions like being a construction foreperson or firefighter. All admirable roles but not exactly earth-moving. I find it very disingenuous when any company tries to relate the accomplishments of anyone with their product. Is the subliminal message that you, as a woman, will be a greater achiever if you remember to take your Caltrate. It's not a miracle drug. It's a calcium supplement. And "Women Move the World" is an ass-kissing slogan and campaign designed to sell more Caltrate and I find it pandering. So pandering, in fact, that I would wager it was dreamed up by some man.

Double Dippy.

This commercial gives me the cheaps (a feeling of embarrassment for others) every time I see it. Am I supposed to know who the McCann Twins are? I know they're less than brilliant actors. And one can be pretty sure they're both bachelors. Maybe I'm bothered because they are presented as being aged Luddites like me. Or is it just the fakiness of the spot that rubs me the wrong way? Or the fact that Consumer Cellular is designed for old fools isn't revealed until the end with the AARP plug? Maybe it's none of that. It could just be the sickeningly cute, "Hello handsome" "Hello ugly" open and close.

America's worst bank.

I find this commercial, despite its many attractive young people, vomitous. First because it uses that super-tired cliche of having a chain of actors read a single glob of insipid copy. I would guess one out of ten commercials uses this creativeless device. But the most irritating thing is that it's for Bank of America, a financial giant that has used its huge and filthy feet to stomp on the hopes of helpless home owners nationwide. It has viciously and greedily issued foreclosures, shown no empathy or patience to the mortgagees, and even been caught foreclosing on homes to which it had no claim. It has proven itself not only to be heartless but criminal, which is why it is involved in so many lawsuits. Of course they're still rolling in money, much of it ill-gained, so expect to see all kinds of feel-good commercials from this scummy bank, many of them paid for by whatever profits they managed to get by tossing families into the street.

Note: My headline isn't just my opinion. If you search "America worst bank" on Google, I'm pretty sure you'll come up with Bankof America.

Safety last.

My feeling is that even when a commercial is totally absurd, it should have some logic to it. This is especially true when you've created a scenario involving what appears to be a real situation. Take this commercial. Very clever that a driver is so enamored of the new Audi's that he leaves his vehicle and climbs aboard the carrier. Not surprisingly others are doing the same. But a logic freak like me can't focus on the situation because I'm picturing all those unmanned cars careening down the highway, causing deadly accidents, crashing into the guard rails. How could this problem have been solved? I have no idea. But it bothers me. And I'm sure most viewers never gave it another thought.

The worst ad tag line.

"While knowing what we serve is important, knowing who we serve matters even more."

That's the Publix Supermarket tag line. I've mentioned it before, but it's so illogical I just had to bring it up again. What could they be thinking? I guess this is one of those lines that when you say it, it sounds meaningful; but if you think about it, not so much.
How could who you serve be more important than what you serve? What you serve has to be fresh, clean, inspected, sanitary, ecoli-free, fairly priced and well-packaged. Who you serve can be dirty, loud, obnoxious, and guilty of any number of criminal acts as long as they are not robbing the store. So what you serve is very important; who you serve is irrelevant. I think the creatives for Publix should have stayed with those insipid Hallmark card commercials with their sickening sentimentality and just the right ehtnical mix to make everyone feel important.

Have you given murder a shot?

I just finished reading one of the most disturbing true-crime books I have ever been unable to put down: Too Young to Kill by M.William Phelps. Fans of the genre will know the Phelps is one of the most brilliant writers in this genre and an increasingly familiar and telegenic personality on such crime-themed shows as Deadly Women. In his newest book, he puts you in close contact with some of the most disturbed and disturbing teens you will ever meet and shows you a side of society to which you would likely never have entree. And that's one of the most exciting things about true crime: the truly horrible real-life people you can get so close to. As I posted once before, many people find it odd that I almost exclusively read true crime books. I think they feel one must be sadistic to do so. But they'd be surprised at how many true crime fans there are and how timid and gentle most of them are likely to be. Millions of tender-hearted Americans devour one murder after another and then haunt the book stores for one they haven't read. In England, they're even more fanatic than we are and have all kinds of book clubs devoted to murder, mayhem, kidnapping, rape and anything else that makes one's blood curdle. Then, of course, they can boast some of the very best murderers: Crippen, Christie, Shipman, and the killer of killers, Jack the Ripper, to name a few. Unlike many fans, I am particular about my murders. I have no interest in reading about weirdly sadistic killers like Jeffrey Dahmer or any of the myriad random serial killers, though Ted Bundy was pretty fascinating. No. I prefer books about the black widow who murders for money, the vengeful spurned lover who kills out of jealousy, the spoiled child who feels that slaughtering his parents will make his his or her life less restricted. Recently I read about a woman who killed both her husbands by spiking their cocktails with anti-freeze. As the law closed in on her, she reasoned she could throw them off her track by poisoning her 16-year-old daughter after writing a fake suicide note and deathbed confession in which the child admits to mom's other killings. Fortunately the daughter survived and mother was convicted. Isn't that more interesting than a fictional crime? The most fascinating and frequent aspect of true crime is the number of already living-in-luxury murderers who kill out of greed. They are wealthy men and women who have everything, but want more, more, more and end up in prison with nothing, nothing, nothing. Look at the Menendez Brothers: two handsome young men, with nothing but success in their future, who thought killing their parents would bring it on faster. Silly boys. Anyway, I love true crime and have converted many other readers to its sublime pleasures. If you haven't read at least one juicy true-life murder, I suggest you start with anything by M. William Phelps, Anne Rule,or Gregg Olsen. I also recommend two books by Thomas Thompson: Blood & Money and Serpentine. However, there there are many excellent specialists in the genre. Of course if you want to get hooked instantly with a haunting page-turner readily available at the nearest book store, then buy Too Young to Kill. But don't blame me if true crime is your newest addiction.

Such a proud legacy.

Surprisingly—or not surprisingly—I can't find any of the new Bayer Advanced commercials on YouTube. I wonder if they're not available because Bayer knows how fraudulent they are. For several years now they have tried to present Bayer aspirin as a cure for a heart attack. Ridiculous, of course. I am sure that studies have shown it's wise to take an aspirin at the first sign of an attack, but Bayer—through their commercials—would have you believe it will prevent or stop an attack in its tracks. An utterly dishonest and dangerous claim by a company famous for its deceptive practices. I like to remind people that Bayer is more famous for making poison. They got their toxic start in Germany with the manufacture and sale of heroin among other products, and later were very profitable from creating the gas used in the holocaust, Most Americans don't seem to know that. The company later changed hands, but I don't think morals.They still deal in killing more than curing. True, now it's insects and fleas, but what choice do they have? So while they can't make a killing literally as they once did, they do it other ways with insane inflated prices. Anyone with a dog or cat will appreciate how over-priced Advantage is. Homeowners will be forking over profiteer prices for Bayer products designed for lawn care, weed care and pest control. But I guess we have to overlook their greed and their shameful past. After all they did develop a cure for heart attacks.

Stupid things we do and think.

I do a lot of dumb things. Last night another one was brought home to me. Let me go back 51 years to explain. When I was 17, I dated a beautiful girl named Leslie (odd, but true) who was going to Boston's Leland Powers School of Drama. I was proud of her when she got the lead in The Gazebo, a play recently done on Broadway. I wasn't as impressed with the play which had also been released as a movie. The point is that I got it into my mind that the film The Gazebo was a bore, and that thought stayed there for decades.I always imagined it as this tedious comedy with Glenn Ford and Debbie Reynolds that was all talk and little else. Therefore whenever it was on Turner Classic Movies, I certainly had no interest in seeing it. Why would I? It was a typical 50s farce that probably bombed at the box office and didn't have a laugh in it. But last night my curiosity got the best of men and I tuned in to watch it at 8 pm. It was hilarious. Despite having all kinds of plot holes, it had some of the funniest physical comedy I have ever seen, Who knew that Glenn Ford could be so funny? Everyone else was good too. Debbie Reynolds was at her most appealing and beautiful. It even featured Carl Reiner. A single moment involving Doro Merande had me in hysterics for twenty minutes. So what's the point of this post? That we all cling to stupid and illogical beliefs or memories that are absolutely incorrect and by being loyal to these false memories we are probably missing out on lots of pleasure. That's all. No big deal.

Who are their wives?

Every time I see these greedy, unctuous Republicans on the news, further weakening the lives of the poor and middle class while seeking new ways to enrich the already already obscenely wealthy, I always wonder: Who are their wives? Are the women they're married to every bit as cold and indifferent to the suffering of millions as they are ? Do their wives, the mothers of their children, not care about starving American children,inadequate schools, unemployed parents, foreclosures, the nightmare of living in a shelter? Are they happily content to have their own lavish homes, comfortable lives, and busy social whirls without every thinking about those who don't? Are they all cold hearted creatures like the lumpy Virginia Lamp Thomas, Clarence's Tea-Party sliima donna, who is as much a stranger to kindness as she is to truth? Are most of the wives of Congressmen educated Stepford career women, realtors and lawyers who grew up among privilege and have no idea what poverty is like? Or have some graduated from poverty and feel they have no obligation to help others? Who are these wives? Do some of them feel the GOP-forbidden emotions of guilt and compassion? Do some have social consciences? Are some even secret Democrats? Do they see their husbands come blithely through the front door and feel disdain for the damage they know was done that day? Do they keep their liberal opinions to themselves, afraid to say what they truly feel? Who is Paul Ryan's wife, Janna? Did it bother her that her husband was ready to rip the safety net away from millions of elderly or is she just as heartless? Who is John Boehner's wife, Debbie? Is she hurt by all the slurs about her husband's drinking and the jokes about his tan? Or does she see him as a drunken and vain loser? Who is Mark Cantor's wife, Diane? Does she ever see him as the weasel the rest of us do or is she just thrilled because her company has profited from her marriage to this cretin? Who are these women? They can't all be in lockstep with their nay-saying, president-bashing husbands. Some of them must want to teach their children to feel empathy, learn compassion, become altruistic and appreciate their privileged lifestyle. Or does it take a certain kind of woman to be married to these narrow and uptight lackeys to billionaires? Does it require blinders and snobbery and indifference to suffering and not really caring how your children turn out as long as they go to the right schools and marry someone acceptable.

Note: I am not such a chauvinist that I don't appreciate that there are women Republicans in Congress, too. Generally they are humorous, frigid. vain soigne bigots who range in appearance from very attractive to downright homely. I don't wonder as much about their spouses because I assume that any man married to any of these heartless woman is a pussy-whipped masochist.

I realized that when I featured Michael Steele and Ron Christie as two champion idiots, I left out one of the most disingenuous frauds of them all: Ari Fleischer. As George Bush's White House Press Secretary his job (which he was good at) was to lie every day from January 2001 to July 2003. He was excellent at kissing George's ass; defending the immoral war; deflecting any suggestions that Dick Cheney was, in fact, president; and doing a daily imitation of Richard Deacon from the Dick Van Dyke Show. Considering he was a Hungarian Jew with many relatives who died in the Holocaust, it is even more surprising that he became such an ardent Republican. I'm sure his remaining family must have felt great shame. Surprisingly since leaving the White House he is involved with Ari Fleischer Sports Communications. I say surprising because there is nothing about this weak, bald-headed coward that suggests sports of any kind. At any rate, you may think I am being unkind, but this was the creep who stood on the podium lying regularly for our criminal president while thousands of young people died for nothing. And he still leaps to the defense of the Republican party before he barely appreciates the issue. This is not a man who will ever let truth get in the way of his opinion.

Geico out of tune.

For starters, I don't know why Geico has so many different ad campaigns.I mean we've always had the gecko commercials, which are generally good, though some are iffy. And we've been though the caveman campaign, which I like a lot. The commercials with the spokesman posing questions is still amusing, notably the hysterically funny pig crying wee, wee, wee all the way home. In short, we've been through many campaigns, many running concurrently. But now I can't figure out where this very weak commercial fits in, but I think it's one of their worst. Not only don't I get it, but being a Gilbert & Sullivan fan, I don't like it at all since it makes G & S and this famous song look boring, which they are not. In addition, Gilbert & Sullivan are not musicals; they're operettas.

Dumb and just as dumb.

There are two Republican African Americans so-called strategists who are frequent guests on talk shows and I can't imagine why. Neither one has ever shown any sign of impartiality. With either one as a guest you know exactly what side they'll take and any possibility of a considered opinion or fair-minded discussion is off the table. Both immediately leap to the defense of any Republican no matter how despicable his behavior. At the moment one of them, Michael Steele, is on the Al Sharpton show defending Rick Perry's nuance reference to Obama as a dark cloud over America. Steele whenever he is cornered or caught being an idiot (which is often) resorts to the most common of Republican tricks, the shit-eating grin. Have you ever noticed how often Republicans, male and especially female, resort to a smug, sarcastic smile designed to suggest he or she thinks his opponent is stupid. It's a visual way to say "fuck you" by angry losers who don't have the courage to use words. The trick is almost always used by by Ron Christie who, if possible, is even more of an ass-kissing Uncle Tom turncoat to his race than Steele. In many ways Christie is even more pathetic because he always seems so cross-eyed desperate to please the power players of his party whereas Steele is just a bumbling pinhead

Great news! Another tragedy.

Last night, August 14, NBC news led off with the collapse of the stage at the Indiana State Fair. They had the proper solemn tone of voice as they told us what a horrific tragedy it was, how many people were killed (4 at that time), and about the many acts of bravery. The point was that this was a terrible, hideous, horrible incident. Having established that they showed the terrifying footage again again and again. They ran the collapse of that scaffolding which injured and maimed so many people at least seven times. They showed us smiling photos of happy people, now dead. What am I missing here? Is the news actually delighted that this tragedy occurred? Are they crying crocodile tears because really, they're thrilled to be able to show this very disturbing footage endlessly to fill up their news time. When someone comments to me that what a terrible event it was, do they really want to say, "Did you see that neat footage of the collapsing stage?" Are we really a nation of ghouls pretending to be compassionate? We must be. Otherwise the news would say, "A stage collapsed at the Indiana State Fair killing four and hurting many others. Unfortunately the footage is too disturbing to show." in the same way we don't show the mutilated bodies of murder victims. But if we could, I'm sure the national news would be delighted to run that gruesome footage again and again while the anchor sadly reminded us how upsetting it is.

Captured on camera: a Minnesota Loon.

Today, Saturday, August 13, the news media are still bitching and debating about the appropriateness of the question Michele Bachmann was asked at the Thursday night debate. When asked if she would be submissive to her husband, she came up with a song and dance routine that suggested submissive meant respect. Her dictionary must be as bizarre as her history books. It was an annoyingly evasive answer when in the past she admitted that she only became a lawyer in deference to her husband because, naturally, God expects a woman to obey her lord and master. Considering her past idiocy , the question was not improper at all. Americans certainly do not want our first female president (like she has a chance in hell) obeying her husband, and especially taking war advice from the man whom she so proudly proclaims chooses her dresses and has an unfailing fashion taste. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I, personally, am not nearly as bothered by her listening to Mother Marcus as I am knowing she may run this country based on her narrow biblical beliefs, which include a hatred of gays (with one exception) and, I suspect, any person belonging to a religious belief, not hers. The Newsweek cover shown here has been much criticized, but you have to admire any photographer who can capture a woman's demented soul.

Note: Today, August 14, David Gregory tried in vain to get Bachmann to answer questions about her religion, her intolerance of gays, her obedience to her husband. The woman is so obviously a bigot and airhead, it is is frightening to think that she could have gotten this far. It will be fascinating to see how far she does and just exactly what will trip her up in the end. Surprisingly she had never addressed the many suggestions that her husband is a closeted gay, including Conan O'Brien's comment this week, in referring to the Newsweek "Queen of Rage" cover, that there is only one raging queen in that family.

Prilosec Commercial

This is one of those commercials that I feel sorry for. There's nothing wrong with the concept. Some people do feel as if their stomach is on fire. It does a good job of reminding you that Prilosec is good for the whole day. The actor is fine. The special effects are fine. But this is a commercial you only want to see once and never again. Every time it's on, I find it so irritating I have to change the channel. Sorry, Prilosec.

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist

Every now and then you see a commercial that really impresses you: for its concept, it's direction, its casting, its execution. There's really not much to say since the spot always speaks for itself, or, in this case, screams. Brilliant!

Note: I have an uneasy feeling that I have written about this commercial in the past. But it's such a pain to go back and search that I am hoping I'm wrong, and nobody else will point out my repetition, if it exists.

Why the GOP should GO Gay.

I think it's ironic that so many Republican politicians are fighting against gay marriage and gays in general. They would be so much better off if they embraced the issues. If gays were an accepted and normal part of society, life would be so much easier for GOP politicians in the public eye. Giuliani would no longer have to be embarrassed by his drag photos. Marcus Bachmann would not be the subject of ridicule on every comedy show for being such a fruity therapist attempting to drive the gay demons out of those sinful homosexual barbarians. And if Michele Bachman is a lesbian, she could feel free to start dressing like Sarah Palin in butch leather outfits. Rick Perry would not have to be fearful that those gay rumors will crop up again during his run for presidency. And Karl Rove would not have to live down his obsessive crush on George Bush or his affair with Jeff Gannon, that gay hustler posing as a reporter. Being caught in a men's room or soliciting on Craig's list would no longer be the cause celebre that it is when it involves hypocrites. It would make life so much easier for all these single- or double-gaited pols. Plus—and this is a big plus—they would be invited to all the best parties.

Bus stop?

When they refused to place advertising for atheism on a city bus, U.S. District Court Judge Susan Webber Wright ruled that the Central Arkansas Transit Authority (CATA) and its advertising agency were wrong to reject the atheists' ads that read, "Are you good without God?" and the one shown above. A victory for free speech. But not without a cost. The city required a $36,000 deposit for the $5,200 advertising, plus $3 million in insurance to cover any damage to the busses. What kind of damage? Well, everyone suspected that the good Christians of Little Rock would vandalize the busses. This gives you some idea of the reputation that Southern Christians have for "do unto others." I don't imagine that there is any danger of atheists vandalizing the endless religious messages that assault one all over the South. I, for one, am pleased at this breakthrough as I feel that atheism, an increasingly popular trend, would result in a far more open and generous society than any religion has, or could, provide. While I admire the tenets of Christianity, I rarely see them employed by avowed Christians, notably Republicans who seem to flout every teaching of Christ in pursuit of their own wealth and well-being.

Note: I don't think any visitors to this blog can easily make out the sign on the side of the bus: It reads:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE IN GOD TO BE A MORAL AND ETHICAL PERSON.

Yeah, and your point is?

I don't know much about cars, but this Dodge commercial seems dopey to me. It presents a premise that isn't necessarily true: that new American cars don't offer performance. Then it relates it to a dilapidated raceway, which seems irrelevant to me since I don't know many people who spend any time circling a race track in their BMW, Lexus or Ford. Actually I didn't even know they still made Dodges, much less than they still offer the performance power of l956 cars on a Tennessee oval. (Or am I totally confused by the nostalgia apsects of this spot.) Oh, well. The only thing I like about this commercial is it reminded me of how much I liked the Durango Kid westerns when I was a child.

With friends like these....

I find this a repulsive and disturbing commercial. It was idiots like this couple who thought it was funny to videotape a fellow Rutgers student having gay sex, and then broadcasting it on the internet. You will recall, the humiliated young man, Tyler Clementi, age 18, killed himself by leaping from the George Washington Bridge. What is it about some people that they are highly amused by making their supposed friends look ridiculous? Are they such nitwits? Are their lives so empty? Have they not reached any level of maturity? I can't speak for others, but if I had friends that videotaped me in order to place it on the internet to make me the object of ridicule, I would drop those unworthy friends immediately. Obviously A T & T thinks making fun of your friends is charming and amusing and a good selling point. This is another example of supposedly intelligent companies hiring really stupid people to create commercials that appeal to other really stupid people.

Note: The two criminals in the Clementi Case were Molly Wei and Dharun Ravi, two young people just like those shown in this commercial—a commercial designed to remind potential A T & T customers that they, too, can expose their friends to public ridicule either for looking dopey sleeping or maybe something far more devastating.

Note: Since posting this, I have seen other questionable A T & T commercials, including one where the parents are debating which of their two children they love the most—in front of the children—and then choosing. Tell me that's not weird.

These days we can assume that most banks are scummy. But the scummiest by far, judging from the news and lawsuits is Bank of America. I feel bad for their customers when I read the horror stories, but I have one of my own. When a friend's sister died without a will, he tried to straighted out her finances. He could not find any record in Virginia of a mortgage, just a loan from SunTrust, which he brought up to date. Since the incompetent Arlington, Virginia, post office had not saved the mail of the deceased, he had no correspondence indicating a mortgage. After eight months, he was ready to sell his sister's house, but was surprised to find that it had been sealed and locked by Bank of America in preparation for foreclosure. This, despite receiving no notice of delinquent payments, which he would have been eager to pay had he known. Despite many calls to B of A, they never responded or explained their action. They were completely unreachable. It wasn't until a lawyer pushed the issue that they finally revealed, months later, the mortgage information and demanded payment, which they got. Of course, they failed to provide any proof of the mortgage knowing that my friend didn't want any more financial and legal hassles. So, payment was essentially blackmail. In the meantime my friend has discovered that many items are missing from the house, which were there before the B of A intrusion. One can only assume that their goons stole the items, something one cannot prove. There is no question in my mind that Bank of America is one of the most dishonest, dishonorable and detestable of America's financial institutions. A pity, when it had such a distinguished beginning in San Francisco and was once so admired and respected. But then you could say the same thing about the United States, a country who, more and more, does very little to prosecute thieves like Bank of America.

Meet the Passages Malibu Staff: Pax Prentiss

If any commercials reek of scam, it's those for Passages. This guy with the odd name of Pax is obviously addicted to hair gel. Shouldn't he have been cured? Oddly enough he can't even pronounce cure (he says, "cewr") This is not, by the way, the commercial I wanted to include. I couldn't find the one I wanted on YouTube. In it, the announcer says, "This is not a 12-step program. This works." I find this statement incredibly offensive considering all the people who have been helped by AA's 12-step program. Who are these slick rehab upstarts to smear such a respected worldwide institution? If Passages is so interested in helping addicts, why did they have to located on some of America's most costly real estate? Why? Because they're more interested in wealth, prestige and dealing with the famous that rescuing users from their addictions. Could this be legit? Possibly. But this guy seems more like a greasy grifter than a goodhearted guru.

Can somebody please find a better system for establishing a contact's authenticity than this so-called "captcha code"? I diligently type in the letters as I think I recognize them only to have them reject and another series presented. Is that an "l" or an "I'? Is that a "J" or a bizarre "s"? It doesn't matter because now I don't give a damn if I ever read this company as I have not intentions of sitting here all night trying to solve this stupid puzzle.

Yuck!

Commercials like this amaze me. It's for something comestible. Miracle Whip. Therefore you would think the advertiser would create a commercial that has taste appeal. But instead they give us something incredibly disgusting. I am sure this hirsute man is attractive to someone, but certainly not to me. And even if he were, I don't want to think about what's inside his mouth or what's in anyone's mouth while they are eating. I don't want to think about a person's tongue, salivary glands and teeth reacting to mayonnaise, bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, bread or anything else. What am I missing here? Does t his commercial make someone want to run out and buy Miracle Whip? I can't recall a more repulsive commercial. Hard to believe it's for one of the best-selling mayonnaise brands, or at least the mayonnaise that was a best seller before consumers begin equating it with the revolting inside of this man's mouth. I've been meaning to try Duke's Mayonnaise after seeing their very appetizing commercials. I can't think of a better time to do it.

Sorry, Diane. It's not just you.

One of the greatest mysteries to me is that so many people misuse the English language every day and nobody notices. What makes it even more mystifying is that many of those misusers are highly paid television journalists. They include Diane Sawyer, a major offender; Scott Pelley, who just landed an anchor job; Leslie Stahl and others on 60 minutes and—well, the majority of news announcers. What's the misuse? Simply this: turning two-syllable words into three-syllable words. Thus gambling, wrangling, struggling, juggling, stumbling become gambeling, wrangeling, struggeling, juggeling, stumbeling. And those are just a few words out of hundreds. Every night I see Diane blithely add her extra incorrect syllable to word after word without realizing she is mangling the language, or, as she would say, mangeling. Now I realize the language changes, but I have never seen a memo or report that suggests that thousands of two-syllable words are now to be pronounced with three syllables. I would have remembered that. So, being somewhat of a purist, I can only accept that that nobody, least of all the networks, care (cares?) about this error, which I find very puzzling—no, not puzzeling—puzzling.

"Good news. More bad news."

I don't know anything about the stock market. Which is why whatever monies I have are in safe investments: CDs, low-interest savings accounts and a house which was bought at the right time. So, I don't make a big profit, but I do sleep better at night. And despite what I don't know about the fluctuations of the stock market, I do know this; Any problem in the market will be made to seem ten times worse by the American broadcast media. Today is August 5, and apparently the stock market has taken a serious tumble. But the morning news with its screaming headlines, and wild-eyed commentators have made it seem like this is pretty much the end of the world. They have quick cuts of financial advisers shouting their dire predictions, remotes from Wall Street of brokers sweating it out, interviews with average Americans whose 401Ks have been damaged (or, as the news would rather put it, decimated). Of course, all these reports are punctuated with loud background noises of ringing bells and outdated ticker tape machines to create an even greater sense of chaos and disaster. As you know, I have total contempt for today's news media. The media used to report the news. Now they create it. And, not being very intelligent or productive, they do a lousy job. Since panic is more profitable news wise than serenity, that is their general goal. Today is no exception. In addition to our lousy and lazy politicians, who happen to be on a not-needed break right now, I wonder how many of our country's problems can be traced back to panic-, anger-, angst-, pessimism-, and fear-causing broadcast "journalism". And what do the morning news shows do after they have strewn their fatalistic warnings across a nervous nation? Why they go outside to greet the hyped-up crowds who are lined up with their posters and signs, eager to greet the people that make them so unhappy in the first place

Just a small complaint, Charlie.

Yesterday I had to open a can of Star-Kist tuna with a pair of pliers. That's how difficult it was to pull the tab on the can.It felt like it was welded on. Today I tried to open the new container for Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. The stick-on label over the flip-top cap at the top only came off after persistent peeling with the fingernails. When opening many cans of cat food, the tab just breaks away, and one must resort to a can opener. Bags of product, which seemed to be designed to be unfolded and separated can never be opened with that method. One must use scissors and cut below the open-here line. I have, as I mentioned before, a very expensive medicine on which the cap is so poorly designed it never screws on correctly. Was it always like this or have product containers become even less well-made? And, if so, what quality change can we expect from the product inside.