I hate hype. I really am offended by the absurd enthusiasm required of audiences by TV shows. Jon Stewart is funny. So is Bill Maher. But do they really rate the extended, over-the-top applause that always greets them and they always pretend to find embarrassing? I just watched a clip from Dancing With the Stars in which the lushly overweight Kirstie Allie did a cha cha. While she acquitted herself admirably, it was not so spectacular that it deserved the non-stop applause and hysterical screaming of the crowd. If the audience really finds it that astonishing, why not sit quietly and watch in awe and save the applause for the end? The answer? Because somebody is holding up signs for the audience to cheer and scream and whistle and stomp their feet. It's insane. On Wheel of Fortune, each contestant must applaud with the revelation of each letter. So must Vanna. Jeopardy, an otherwise unhyped show, always begins with the uncomfortable smiles and grins of the contestants who are instructed to do so. These are variety and quiz shows. They are not a once-in-a-lifetime events of earth-shaking importance. Unless these audience members have never been out in the world, never seen electric lights, comfortable chairs, carpeted aisles and people made up to be even more attractive than they are, there is no need for this obnoxious and unnecessary exuberance. Ignore the signs. Watch the show. And shut up!
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