Having been an award-winning copywriter for 40 years, I feel qualified to comment on today's TV commercials, which are generally rotten. Here are some of my favorite misfires.
Safelite: A woman opens one commercial saying,"When you have a cracked windshield, Safelite makes it easy." What? Makes what easy? A stupid unfinished thought.
Open Door: I have seen their commercial at least six times and still have no idea what they do. This is true of so many commercials.
Coventry: The miners under this elderly woman's house suggest she is sitting on a gold mine. Cashing in a life insurance policy may give you some cash, but hardly as much as having a gold mine. (I miss truth in advertising.)
Liberty Mutual: I detest all their insipid commercials, but the Limo Emu and Doug ones are the worst. What makes this unpleasant character think an emu could slide down a pole after him? Also irritating, the stilts, the baby carriage, and everything else.
Consumer Cellular: What a waste of Ted Danson in these poorly written and dippy commercials. What's worse the golf course or the platform? Hard to say. The non-Danson two cones spot is also poorly conceived.
Stanton: How stupid would this father have to be to think his son could wear and use glasses more than 50 years old and not his prescription?
Jacuzzi: Sadly our language is going to hell with so many people like the actor on this commercial saying, "I wish I would have done it sooner." instead of the correct "I wish I had done it sooner" Illiteracy is rampant in commercials and nobody seems to notice.
Commercials I really like that stand out among the many mediocrities.
FreshPet: I never get tired of seeing these snarky guests tossed out.
Publix Market: The best commercial I've seen in years is this one in which the bride finally acknowledges her stepfather with the words, "Thanks, Dad".
Prevagen: The lying continues apace about the efficacy of this useless placebo. The most offensive spot? The pharmacist who should lose his license.
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