THE REAL CULPRIT

I think the media is terribly unfair to Trump, calling him paranoid and mendacious. I think that Obama did bug his apartment at Trump tower and put mikes in all the gold cornices and many cherubs of his lavishly over-decorated Versailles in the Sky. I also think it was President Obama who slashed his tires and draped the trees in the back of the tower with toilet paper. And while they haven't been able to trace the calls—thanks to help from the FBI—I don't doubt that it's Obama who keeps calling and hanging up. I don't however think it was Barak who mailed Donald a live rat with a little blond wig. I agree with Trump: That sounds more like something Michelle would do.