Wednesday, April 6, 2011

When did the talkies become the yellies?

I just came back from going to the movies. I say going because I actually went. I just didn't stay. Not that I didn't want to. I was in the mood for an action film like Battle LA. What I wasn't ready for was ear-blasting sound, sound so loud that even the plugs I always put in my ear were no help at all, sound so loud that Cameron Diaz's voice in the coming attractions nearly knocked me out of my seat. I had to complain twice and it was still too loud. I would have felt it was me, except my friend, for a change, agreed, and the pre-teens in the same aisle complained as well. So now I have another good reason to never go to the movies again. Add it to these other reason. Movies are too expensive. Refreshments are beyond expensive and consist of increasingly noisy and smelly selections like nachos and onion-smothered hotdogs. Audience members talk, put their feet up on the seat in front of them (often with bare feet), and either talk on their phones or text. Too often you're sitting among sociopaths, judging from the way they laugh when an innocent person is slaughtered. And newest of all is the people running the theaters are blase teenagers. This means that every time I go to an AMC theater, the sound is too loud (like today) or off completely, the screen has not been opening properly, the auditorium is too hot or too cold, and often the picture is upside down. All these problems without even addressing the fact that most films suck. Battle LA was actually the only film worth seeing, and it's not exactly inspiring. So, since we couldn't watch the film without permanent damage to our hearing, we requested our money back from the 12-year-old theater manager. Oh, well, it won't be long before Battle LA comes to cable for only $4.99 and popcorn only costs about 55 cents.

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