The case of the empty mailbox or "You don't have e-mail."

I have written letters all my life. Letters of complaint, which were almost always answered and often include a coupon for a free sample of the product you complained about. And letters of praise which are usually acknowledged and generally do not include a coupon for the product you complimented. But lately I receive very few replies when I write to a company and no reply when writing to a specific person. Most websites seem to have everything you need to know except a contact mechanism. Some companies seem to do everything possible to avoid correspondence with their customers, which it a mistake since they will never learn what's good or bad about their products. Reaching celebrities is even more difficult, which is why there are so many sites by those who charge to allegedly give out secret addresses. Again this seems odd to me since actors, for instance, have always gauged their popularity by fan mail and could do so much more easily in the age of e-mail. Today I wanted to send Will Shortz—the leading crossword puzzle maven—an idea but could find no way to reach him. I sent it care of The New York Times and feel pretty sure it will never reach him. People just don't respond to mail like they used to. Even mail they requested. As a playwright, I am especially annoyed by the number of theaters who advertise for plays in publications like The Writer's Market but never acknowledge receipt or provide the follow-through they promised in their request for submissions. This is extremely rude since the author often has to print out a copy of a script, write a cover letter, mail the manuscript, include a SASE, and stand in line at the post office. A great waste of time and money. Even more infuriating are Miami playhouses who never seem to read or respond to any scripts that are sent to them. I recently sent 10 short plays to City Theater, the company that does Summer Shorts. No acknowledgement. Nothing. Nada. I should have known better since I have sent other submissions in past years. The Actors' Playhouse has also ignored submissions as has GablesStage, The New Theatre, and every other local theater. I find this shameful since Miami theaters should encourage local writers (other than their pals) since much of the grant money they receive is given for that purpose. If you call, they act as if they never received the play. But that excuse has become very tired. Even if my plays sucked, which they don't, a quick "your plays sucks" postcard or e-mail would be better than nothing. Well that's my cranky complaint of the day. So if you're planning to write to a someone other than a friend or relative, don't expect an answer.

Note: I just wanted to complain to Miami Police about a knife sharpening truck that comes through The Roads in the early morning blasting a song and sales message in Spanish. But the Miami Police Department has no e-mail for such comments. There is only a non-emergency phone number which is never answered quickly. Wouldn't you think they could have someone at a desk reading and sorting complaints and compiling those that are frequent?