The D.T.s in D.C,

Apparently America's most famous do-nothing alcoholic has jumped on the bandwagon (the only wagon he's ever been on) to attack President Obama. It seems he thinks our president has committed a terrible crime by providing deportation relief for approximately 4.4 million undocumented immigrants. When interviewed under the table at the Willard Hotel bar, the Day-Glo Orange house speaker, said, "Ish dishgusting. He thinks he's a, you know, like Cugula." After vomiting onto his briefcase, he added, "After all we've done for him. Uppity, thash what it ish, uppity." The interview ended there when Boehner passed out as he urinated on the hotel's century-old luxurious Persian carpet.