SAYING "NYET" TO NORDSTROM'S.

While it's true that Ivanka's fashion lines are losing their appeal to Americans due to their imitative style and—of course—their association with America's dictator, all is not lost. Her products are already the rage of Russia and are being carried at Gum's Department Store in Red Square and all their, pardon the expression, satellite stores. After a demand from Vladimir "The Impaler" Putin, Russians rushed out to purchase Ivanka's newest line of jeweled babushka's and innovative evening wear, "gulag gowns". Not that a threat from Putin was necessary, Russians happily embraced Ivanka Trump as her father, Comrade Donald, is a national hero who has already done more for the Russian economy than our own.