Even the garbage gets gold.

I hate awards shows. Especially the Emmys. It seems to me to be a program designed to honor both quality programming and absolute shit. They just announced the nominees this morning. With their usual class, two giddy and interchangeable spokesmodels, a man and woman, read the nominees to an unseen audience of what sounded like twelve. The unseens gave special applause to persons of whom I have never heard, but remained silent when such talented stars as Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey and Nicole Kidman were mentioned. As much as I like Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I found both her show Veep and her in it unworthy of any award. Again as much as I like Louis C.K., his nominated show Louie is just a mishmash of super vulgar jokes. (Unless you find penis transplants hilarious.) Saturday Night Live is high-school comedy skits at their worst. Modern Family, which everyone seems to love, I find a series of unrealistic couples, gay stereotypes, cliche situations, and punchlines you can see from fifty feet away. Are there shows I love? Yes, some. Boardwalk Empire, Mad Men, The Big Bang Theory, and Sherlock. And with these and other shows we get to see great actors like Jim Parsons, Alec Baldwin, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Smith, and Ashley Judd. But why should I even bother to praise or denigrate any of these programs or actors? For the most part, television sucks and one of the most pathetic shows—in my cranky opinion— is the Emmys.