TUCKER TIPS.

Dear Bubblehead. I know you have a much higher opinion of yourself than you should, do let me give you some advice. Never try to do voices or imitate anyone because you suck at it. Better to just do your beady-eyed stare and verge of hysteria rant. I imagine you are aware of how much leverage you are losing with your viewers since you make so many bizarre comments (kids with face masks was the gaffe of the century), and let's face it pretty boy, you're not as pretty as you were and are coming across a little unhinged. One rarely sees you standing up, but judging from your beach-ball head one can only assume the rest of you is, well, pudgy. What is amazing—and kudos to you—is that the ignorant elders who watch your show take advice from someone who has never faced a trail in his entire silver-spooned life. It's ironic that someone who has always been rich is so well paid to deliver the venom that you spew. I'm sure you realize your day in the sun will not last and you'll eventually be a forgotten prophet of doom. Your children will probably never think of yours as a wasted life, but their friends will, and that will make for lots of unpleasant arguments.