Bayer faced lie.

I thoroughly dislike the Bayer Corporation. Mostly because of their history during World War II as a provider of the chemicals to kill millions of Jews and other targets of the Nazis. But also today, because they are greedy manufacturers of wildly overpriced medicines and poisons and create many commercials which are outright lies. One of their favorites is to suggest that in the event of a heart attack taking a Bayer aspirin can be a lifesaver. Possible? In rare cases, maybe, but I wouldn't put much faith in it. But I particularly dislike all of their commercials in which the heart attack sufferer says, "My doctor put me on a Bayer aspirin regimen." I doubt that their doctors specified Bayer. If they did, I think they're irresponsible for suggesting the most costly aspirin when far less expensive aspirin will do the same job. Has you doctor ever said, "You should replace high-fat oils with more Pompeii Virgin Olive Oil."

Let's face it: They all suck!

It is no secret that I detest Comcast as I detest all cable services for their greed and frequent incompetence. I could switch to AT&T or Dish, but they would be no better. Like all services they start out with a reasonable fee and gradually increase it. They're all despicable. And one of their most despicable ploys is the following. When they know they have screwed up your service somehow and while it is a neighborhood- or city-wide problem, they will never admi it. They try to make you feel that somehow it is your fault, the customer's. This afternoon I lacked Comcast's phone, cable and computer services for several hours because of their error. But this is what the tv legend read:

WE'VE DETECTED AN INTERRUPTION IN YOUR SERVICE.
PLEASE CHECK THE CONNECTIONS. IF THE PROBLEM
PERSISTS, PLEASE CALL COMCAST AT 1-800-COMCAST.COM
FOR SUPPORT.

In case anybody, but anybody, reads me regularly, I will not be whining or complaining this week. But I will soon be back to griping, carping and intermittent praising. But while I'm taking a break you really should be reading a far more well-written and trenchant blog than mine: http://mycatsaredemocrats.blogspot.com/

Shame on you, Don Draper!

I can't help it. There is a grammatical error that many people make and it drives me mad. When I was a youngster in school, this error was completely frowned upon by our teachers. Today most people don't even know it's incorrect. Sadly, it is practically an obsession with me. And tonight on Mad Men, Don Draper was guilty of using it. Don Draper! Leading Madison Avenue maven, admired writer of great advertising, someone who should know better. But when his wife told him she had suffered a miscarriage a few days before, he said, "I wish you would have told me." That was it. I completely lost all respect for Don Draper. He might as well have said, "I ain't got nothing happening at the agency tomorrow."

Future imperfect.

What is wrong with Americans? Have they no sense of justice?  HuffPost just announced the birth of George W. Bush's  first grandchild, Margaret Hagar, Jenna's first child. In the comments section there were nothing but joyous congratulations and praise for the grandparents George and Laura. Do none of these well-wishers remember that Georgie lied to get us to go to war with Iraq, and that that lie cost thousands of American lives, men and women who will not be making joyous announcements about their own babies because they died in George's unnecessary war?  Do any of these congratulators care that thousands of those who aren't dead are crippled, blind, deaf, mental disturbed, drug or alcohol-addicted, unemployed, and tortured by memories they would not have if George, with his enormous ego, hadn't chosen to do a cowardly "by proxy" battle with Hussein?  Jenna and her husband have a new baby. Good for them. Fortunately they have the money and status to give it the best of futures. But that doesn't change the fact that that baby's grandfather is a mass murderer and has ruined the lives of thousands of families all across America and done additional damage to innocent men, women and children, including newborns not named Margaret, in Iraq.  I wonder if Jenna and her husband appreciate just how vile and polluted gramps really is.

Jonathan.

Jonathan Winters died Thursday, April 11, at age 87. Naturally the lazy and ignorant media announced his death with an immediate reference to the tv sitcom Mork and Mindy. Forget that Winters was one of the most brilliant and influential comics of our time, that he starred in the the Stanley Kubrick film It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and more than a dozen other films, often in dramatic roles.  No, all these naifs can think of is Mork and Mindy. Forget his long history of television specials including Omnibus, Playhouse 90, Hollywood Squares, The Twilight Zone, and the Wacky World of Jonathan Winters. No, their narrow little sitcom minds rush to Mork and Mindy. Forget his guest appearances on Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, David Letterman and such brilliantly realized characters as Maude Frickert, or the speed with which his mind could take a single prop and created a dozen scenarios. It's a sad fact that when many of our greatest stars die, the unsophisticated little desk clerks assigned to write their obituaries have such a tiny frame of reference. Jonathan Winters, a giant of comedy, was born November 11, 1925 in Dayton, Ohio, and his death is a great, great loss.

Talk about bull.

I happen to think that any man who "runs with the bulls" is a raging asshole, so needless to say, I am not impressed with the new Just for Men commercial, wherein a pseudo-macho idiot says, "Now the bulls run from us." Does this commercial model even know that all the bulls are killed, whether they are brave or not? Does he even care? This is definitely not a feel-good commercial.  I also don't believe the absurd claim that this dye (which itches like crazy) stops at the perfect color. Give me a break.

Duh, Is that correct?

A National Car Rental spot uses the expression, "omnipotent of opportunity". This sounds weird to me. I wish someone could explain to me if it's correct and why.

Enterprise Rent-A-Car - The Enterprise Way "Listening" Commercial

Sorry, I can no longer upload videos from YouTube. Don't know why. If there's another way to do it, it's nor working for me. If I could upload I would show you an Enterprise Car Rental commercial, or as they call it, an "Ennaprise Car Rennal" commercial. I find it amazing that companies don't even care enough for their own name to pronounce it properly. It remains a mystery to me why so many people have a problem pronouncing "t" as in Internet, interview, and a thousand other words. Or as Arte Johnson would have said on Laugh In, "very inneresting".

Another manufacturer who doesn't seem to have a clue what they named their product is Ensure. On all their commercials, it is pronounced "insure". I guess they feel their "intitled" to pronounce it any way they like.

The sincerest form of flattery?

This bit was funny when Ally Bank did it ages ago. A serious man in a gray suit versus innocent and enthusiastic children. But with Ally it had some meaning: encouraging us all to avoid the trickery of big banks. These A T & T spots have no logic at all. It's just a humorless and sometimes sarcastic suit asking children questions and then semi-responding.  Surely it can't be just to say faster is better!

What should I wear to my funeral?

Now let me get this straight because I always had a problem with it. You die and your body rots, right down to the bones and even further if you're dead long enough. But at a certain point Jesus or someone is coming back and all the dead people will rise from the graves, once again intact—billions and billions of them. But how old? And if you lost your hair will get it back? And will you be dressed in the clothes you died in? Then apparently you line up for judgement. And God, who everybody says is such a nice guy, decides whether you go to heaven or the eternal flames of hell. It's hard to imagine how evil anyone could have been to deserve the eternal flames of hell from such a generous and loving god. But who am I to question it? And if you're in the heaven, then what? Wings? A robe? Lots of floating? I don't want the fires of hell, but I sure as hell don't want eternal floating. Don't Christians ever stop to think just how ridiculous and unlikely this scenario is.

It could just as easily be Joy.

Recently someone asked me the secret of the success of my 44-year relationship with my partner. I think I can sum it up with a bottle of Palmolive dish detergent. When I use it, I like it be ready so I always leave the cap open. When my partner uses it, being a stickler for what's right, he always snaps the cap shut when he's finished. So I rarely find the cap already opened and he rarely finds it closed. But he wouldn't think of saying, "Would you please close the cap when you're through with the detergent." anymore than I would say, "I would appreciate it if you would leave the cap open." And that, simple as it sounds, is the secret.

They're all against me!

I don't know about you, but I've never had luck with vacuum cleaners (one exception: The Regina electric broom which is no longer available). Of course I haven't taken out a second mortgage for a Dyson yet, so I can't speak to that. But every machine I have purchased from Hoover to Eureka has been a disappointment. They start out well enough, but soon refuse to to pick up certain things, like the tiniest strand of string or a piece of lint. Any dot left over from a paper punch is completely beneath their dignity no matter how much your curse or how many times you roll them back and forth. Once for  sake of space and the fact that I like the color red, I optimistically bought two popular vacuums"
the inexpensive Dirty Devil vacuum cleaner and the hand-held Dust Buster. Both are completely useless.The Dirt Devil eagerly comes out of the closet since it is so light on its feet, then refuses to pick up anything and recoils at dust bunnies. The Dust Buster sits lazily in another closet, eagerly drinking up the electricity necessary to keep it complete inefficient. The only thing that seems to pick up anything and make a difference is the $14.00 Bissell Carpet Sweeper. My conclusion: all vacuums suck because they don't.

Some of the A T & T commercials when they are not pushing their ripoff of Ally commercials (smug suited man with innocent children) is making use of the slogan "Rethink Possible". As a good friend pointed out, this is kind of an absurd statement. Possible is possible. It doesn't need rethinking. The slogan should be "Rethink Impossible". If you find something impossible, rethink it, and maybe you'll find a way to make it possible. If, on the other hand, it's already possible, there's no need to rethink it. You might say, "Improve on what's possible" but rethink it? Nah.

How do you spell "deceit"?

I detest Kellogg's anyway because I think they are greedy pigs when pricing their products, which are often mostly air. But today I found a new reason to hate them. As much as I hate buying their products, I did buy a two-pack of Pop Tarts. But when I got it home I was suspicious of the expiration date since it ended with 12. I called the company. Here is their code for expiration: CTO9293C12. This package apparently expires sometime in 2013. How in hell would a consumer ever be able to understand that? They wouldn't. It's just another slimy tactic of Kellogg's to prove they don't give a damn for the consumer. From now on I only buy products from manufacturers who clearly state the date of expiration.