Pop porn.

Women have a wonderful new tool in weeding out inappropriate men: any of the films in the 300 Spartans series. If the man you're seeing is a fan of any one of these films, be wary. Because in order to like these films he fits into one of the following categories.  He's a closeted gay. These films are basically homoerotic porn since they feature flat-chested tough women and hundreds of handsome sweating men with fantastic bodies and glorious pecs. He's a sadist. Who else could enjoy constant battle scenes of unrelenting violence along with the constant whipping of galley slaves (also great male bodies), endless amputations and such bizarre scenes as the butch queen kissing the lips of a bleeding severed head. And finally he's stupid. These films are made for sexually confused teens and immature adults.  The plots are non-existent, the scripts are hilariously corny, the characters are all one-dimensional, and the only purpose these films fulfill is as sado-masochistic, soft core porn.  And guys, if the woman you're seeing loves these films, run for it.

Between a crock and a lard face.

The cadaverous, hollow-eyed, shiny-faced creep Trey Gowdy kept saying that today's Benghazi hearing isn't a prosecution, but an investigation, However, anyone watching could see that it was an inquisition. Each of the Republican inquisitors maintained a tone of accusatory anger as they tried to vilify Hillary Clinton. Jim Jordan was so unprofessionally aggressive and combative one expected him to leap over his lectern and start pummeling Secretary Clinton. Frustrated by all their past attempts, they were especially vindictive today in hopes of finally proving the unprovable and justifying the millions of dollars they have already wasted on this totally transparent witch hunt. Yet all they did was make Americans further aware that many Republicans are vengeful unpatriotic bullies and that Hillary Clinton has the kind of strength, endurance, patience and clarity it takes to be our next president.

A discontented Savoyard.

I love Gilbert and Sullivan. I can't imagine how anyone could be depressed during, or right after, seeing any G and S show. If I had a bucket list, which I don't, going to one of England's G and S festivals would be right at the top. But there is something that bothers me. My favorite operetta of theirs is The Gondoliers, followed by Yeoman of the Guard, The Mikado, and Ruddigore. But all their operettas are  wonderful. Well not all.  Which is why I can't imagine why almost every available production is my least favorite: The Pirates of Penzance.  Pirates is what they did on Broadway, in the movies, by almost every local theatre group. Why?  It's not their best, not their wittiest, not nearly as good as HMS  Pinafore.  It is because there are so many roles, including those annoying British policeman pounding around the stage? Even the songs are annoying. I don't think" pirate" and "pilot" sound anything alike, despite being the theme for a song central to the plot; and "A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One" isn't even mildly amusing. Living in Miami, one gets very few chances to see a Gilbert and Sullivan show, and right now there is one being performed locally. I'm sure it's probably very well done.  But it is, of course, The Pirates of Penzance, so I shall give it a miss.

Stop being such suckers!

I have a hard time imagining why more people aren't annoyed at the number of commercials we are constantly subjected to every night. Especially when I feel sure that most of them are unnecessary for the networks to make a profit—they just want to make a killing. Here, for example, is the commercial rundown for ABC World News Wednesday night, October 14.
15 minutes of news to get you hooked
5 commercials
A 1-minute news story
4 more commercials
2 minute news story
10 commercials
Short final news story
4 more commercials before 7 pm.
Total for half hour: 23 commercials. And that's just one half-hour show.

"Baaaaaaa."

It seems that whatever I wanted to check out on HuffPost today was preceded by a video for the new Tom Hanks' film Bridge of Spies. This was annoying enough. What made it worse was that no matter how many times I clicked the X, the video kept going until the end. One pays a high price for Internet service and cable TV to avoid commercials, but on both costly services commercials are more and more frequent and increasingly interruptive. I maintain that greedy providers like Comcast run far more commercials than necessary for them to make an excellent profit because they know that American consumers are sheep about commercials and hardly ever complain.

It's not a scam, but close.

Isn't it nice to know that if you have trouble sleeping you can buy 30 Midnite tablets for $10.79. The main ingredient is Melatonin, which many insomniacs swear by. Buy you know what's even nicer: You can by 250 Melatonin tablets for about $5.00, and get the same effect.

More commercials than actual news.

Very soon ABC World News Tonight will not have any time for the news. Lately it seems there are more commercials than any reports on world events. Not that there ever were many reports on world events on ABC since they are more interested in promoting any upcoming ABC program or the latest Disney film. But they won't even have time for that any more. Now it's practically wall-to-wall commercials. They start out with an ad-free stretch to get you hooked, but soon it goes like this: David Muir says, "When we come back we have breaking news from Turkey." Then there are seven or eight commercials. When they come back, David Muir says, "There was an earthquake in Turkey. Hundreds were killed." and then there are eight more commercials, which end just in time for a quick human interest story, usually related to sports. Excessive commercials have even taken over a show that was surprisingly commercial-light until recently: Jeopardy. There were usually only three or four commercials before they returned for Final Jeopardy. Now there are about nine. I can't speak for this past week because I can't bear to watch the program as long as their arrogant new champion Matt Jackson remains their smug and ungracious winner. Which, sadly, may be a long time.