Riding the rails.

Being afraid to fly, I often take the train. Though lately I have flown several times on Jet Blue well fortified with Atavin. As a train traveler, I enjoy the experience of having a roomette and the pleasure of seeing the passing scenery in private, usually having meals in the roomette rather than sharing a table with strangers in the dining car. Booking the train used to be easy. But Amtrak like everyone else has made improvements on the Internet, which means it is more complicated than ever to book a train and, it would seem, far more expensive. Where you once had a choice of 1 reserved coach seat, a roomette, or a room, now you have a choice of 1 reserved coach seat for one price, 1 reserved coach seat for more than $150 more without any explanation of why, and a roomette. If you want a room, you have to search for it on their complex new system and it will, more than likely, cost over $1,000 for about 26 hours use. Of course Amtrak says taking the train has very little to do with fear of flying. So it must be people are willing to pay much more for a train than a plane, though it takes nine times as long, is far more expensive, has some very sour employees, and almost no safety precautions. Unless I get over my fear of flying, I will continue to take the train, but I recognize that our rail system is one of the worst in the world and one of the costliest. I wonder if we'll ever get a good, fast, and affordable train system. Acela is pretty nice, but like so many American systems, it's only for the wealthy.

Real bears kill people.

I'm amazed at the number of advertisers who think being chased by a bear is funny. Sears, for instance, apparently thinks that this guy running away from a bear is hilarious. How funny is it if the bear catches the man? Well, with a single blow of his powerful clawed paw, he could knock off the man's head. That's funny isn't it, a head in the lying in the snow?  A few more hits and the man's guts are splattered all over the pine trees? Then the idea of the persons he was calling to coming out and seeing his body parts and blood all over the landscape makes this a very amusing commercial. Finally, to make this ad just as cute as can be the man is making angels in the snow while his new best friend looks on. That fantasy should prove very helpful when you're out in a real forest. Sometimes I think ad agencies have the brainpower and common sense of 10 year olds.

Note: In this same vein are the funny burglar spots, you know those madcap thieves that are just so funny when they break into someone's home. True thieves often murder the persons who catch them in the act, but let's not spoil the fun of these commercials.

Men do it, too.

It's no surprise that so many TV advertisers feature yoga in their promotions. After all it is a symbol of peace, harmony, good health, control and bodily self awareness. It's practiced all around the world and has been for centuries. But what is a surprise is the narrow thinking of almost all advertisers since for some inexplicable and illogical reason they almost always show it as an occupation for women. Why? There is nothing feminine about yoga. Yet almost every commercial, whether for a cereal, vitamins, health care plans, or some other fitness-related product, they show a woman, never a man practicing this ancient discipline. Yoga is a time-honored and admirable exercise regiment for both men and women. If you're an advertiser who wants something that only women do, why not use a pole dancer?

Merry Chrismas?

Ah, it's December once again and another chance for me to enjoy two of my favorite pastimes. One, chiding the lazy and often incompetent news media. And two, fighting for the rights of the oft forgotten letter T in so many daily words.

There is no Sanna Claus.

In this festive season
You'd be wise to pause
And tell your news staff people
That there is no Sanna Claus.

Reporters will be shattered,
Anchors will be dazed,
And almost everyone in news
Will surely be amazed.

If you tell them bluntly,
They're sure to drop their jaws.
So why not whisper in their ears,
"There is no Sanna Claus"?

There is no Sanna Claus, you know.
There simply is no Sanna.
No Sanna Cruz nor Sanna Fe
Nor winds called Sanna Ana.

There is no Sanna Barbara.
What's more, there never was.
There is no Sanna Rosa,
And there is no Sanna Claus.

We put Christ in Christmas
So, I'm asking you why can't a
Group of news announcers
Put the "t" back in Santa?

Who is this picture for?

To avoid the endless commercials on a crime show I was watching last night, I would switch over to the commercial-free TCM. Unfortunately they were showing one of the worst musical films ever made; Dr. Dolittle. Not the Eddie Murphy one, which also sucked, but the 1967 Rex Harrison film which is very nearly unwatchable, unless, like me, you're fascinated by how awful it is. Films like this absolutely amaze me. I cannot understand how leading scriptwriters, composers, actors like Rex Harrison and Samantha Eggar, other luminaries of the British theater, leading animal trainers, and special effects experts can all pool their talents and come out with one of the most leaden, boring, tiresome musicals ever. To cite just one idiotic scene, Dr. Doolittle has at his disposal glasses designed for a horse, supposedly, except they are glasses of standard design and horses eyes are on the sides. Nonetheless it instantly cures this horses vision problems. If you think that might have been an amusing scene, you'd be wrong. Rex Harrison should have realized that one Doolittle in his life was enough and turned this turkey down.

Keep your eye on this "good Catholic".

This slimy hypocrite calls himself a Catholic. But everything he does it contrary to anything Jesus would do, or more recently the Pope. Pope Francis (an idol even to an atheist like me) has attacked unfettered capitalism as a "new tyranny" and has urged global leaders to fight poverty and growing inequality. Hopefully all good Catholics will comply. But is Paul Ryan a good Catholic? Of course not.
Much of his life is devoted to creating situations of hunger and homelessness for the hungry and poor. Unlike Jesus, he doesn't give a fuck what happens to low-income people because he's too busy working to help the money changers. There's nothing Catholic about him. Now it's possible that he will heed the recent comments of Pope Francis, see the light, be true to his faith, and reverse his reckless course of cruel capitalism to help those in need. I personally think that's about as like to happen as Boehner going on the wagon. So I encourage you to watch Ryan in the future and listen to what he says and compare it to what Pope Francis would like this "good Catholic" to do.

Holiday hero.

Sadly this is one of the greediest Thanksgivings ever. Many leading retailers will be open on Thursday, (Macy's, Target, Old Navy, Wallmart, many, many others) thus forcing their least powerful employees to work during this family holiday. Perhaps the owners of these companies should be cooking pig rather than turkey. However, there is some good news. Tony Rohr, the manager of Pizza Hut in Elkhart, Indiana, refused to open on Thanksgiving Day. Since his bosses wanted whatever profit they could gain rather than the happiness of their employees, they fired him. Rohr, who worked for the chain for ten years, starting as a cook before working his way up o the manager. To add insult to injury the Pizza Hut powers wanted Rohr to sign a letter of resignation for his refusal to open the restaurant. Rohr's response, "I do not resign. However I accept that the refusal to comply with this greedy, immoral request means the end of my tenure with this company." He added, "I hope you realize that it is the people at the bottom of the totem pole that make your life possible." If top management is smart they will apologize to Rohr, rehire him, keep the outlet closed tomorrow and make him the manager of another Pizza Hut. After all, they have hundreds of managers, but only one hero.