THE HIGH COST OF NOT HAVING BENCHES.

I don't know about other cities, but Miami seems to have some kind of thing against benches. At almost every major store I visit there are no outside benches, no place to sit. I have asked the managers why. Usually they have no idea, but they guess it has something to do with the homeless or indigents sleeping in front of their stores. This seems specious since many of these outlets are in malls far from downtown. Plus, many of today's benches are partitioned to prevent anyone lying down. Forgetting all the excuses, I think not having benches is costing these stores money. Why? Because often when a couple is shopping, one of them tires quickly. If there were a bench the impatient partner could sit outside, read, talk on their phone, or chat with a fellow non-shopper while their spouse or friend continues spending money inside. But since there isn't a bench,  they're more likely to rush the other person along before they have spent all the money they would have spent if they'd been allowed more time to shop. Thus the store loses money every day since this is not a rarity.  I see this kind of carping all the time. I do it myself when I am shopping with friends. Now I could probably sit in some corner of the store, but then I would have to listen to the crappy music that's usually playing. Whereas if I could wait outside on a bench in the Florida sunshine enjoying quiet people watching, my friends could shop as long they like.

BOTTLES, BOTTLES EVERYWHERE.

One of the most polluting items in American today is the individual plastic water bottle. So I cannot understand why the pollution-weary people of Flint are not being provided with refillable gallon containers or large glass vats. Of course it's easier to deliver these thousands and thousands of indestructible bottles, each of which can barely get you through washing your hands and brushing your teeth. Which means that while trying to deal with one pollution problem, the city is creating another, and will soon have mountains of plastic bottles to remind them of just how screwed they are.

IT'S JUST A STATUE.

I don't understand all this fuss about the Academy Awards this year. Many actors are going to boycott the awards because they didn't honor excellent performances from black actors. The Academy Awards has never been fair. How can you even take seriously a group of people who gave The Greatest Show on Earth the best picture? The median age is 62, and most of the members probably didn't even see the films that were supposedly slighted. It's a popularity contest. Luise Rainer deserved the award for The Good Earth in 1937, but did she really earn it the year before in The Great Ziegfeld. No. The Oscar that Gregory Peck won for To Kill a Mockingbird probably should have gone to Peter O'Toole for Lawrence of Arabia. But it didn't. Boo hoo. There are hundreds of such stories. Undeserved winners. Fogotten stars. Favoritism among the Academy members is nothing new. So this year, take it on the chin. There are no blacks up for awards. But next year, who knows. I don't think it's spiteful or racist. It's just the way they voted, based on what they saw. Nobody knows how many black actors and films came close to being nominated, but were knocked out by the slimmest of margins. It's not worth making a federal case out of since it only smacks of sour grapes. Next year there will probably be another Glory, Lilies of the Field, The Defiant Ones, Ali, Hurricane, etc. If there is, nothing will make it seem like less of a honor than if one demands its recognition before it's even made. Not to mention that the awards has become a commercial heavy, long-winded bore.

Photo: Sidney Poitier accepts the 1963 award for Lilies of the Field. He also should have won for Raisin in the Sun, and several other films. But he didn't.  C'est la vie.

SECRETARY OF STATE?

You know that Jeb Bush is really stupid because he considers his war criminal brother an admirable human being. You know that Trump is really stupid because he's considers the inept quitter Sarah Palin worthy of a cabinet position. And you know Rafael Cruz is really stupid because he considers himself presidential. But the stupidest people of all are those gullible and unsophisticated morons who would vote for any one of these ninnies.

Note: In case you're wondering how anyone as vapid, vindictive and vile as Sarah Palin ever got anywhere, this photo should clear up that mystery.

IT BEARS REPEATING.

Hillary Clinton has been married once and is still married to the same man after 41 years. Donald Trump has been married three times. Twice to foreigners (so much for his love of Americans) and once to the woman he was cheating with on the first wife. While it's true that his children and ex-wives speak well of him, I'm not surprised. If I were in Donald's will, I would be praising him, too. While he loves to attack the Clintons' marriage, keep in mind the Clintons overcame problems and rose above them. Donald, it would seem, apparently quit at the first sign of boredom or the art of an erotic deal.

Note: I wonder how many of his other past wedding guests he's saying bitchy things about.

CAT AND DOGGEREL.

A boy and a girl
Who were total strangers
Fell in love
Despite the dangers.

She felt that love
Made her a queen;
He felt it made him a hero.
They scaled heights
That few can reach,
But soon were back to zero.

They were like a dog and cat.
He needed constant love.
And though she needed care,
She needed lots of time alone.
And he was always there.

As a man and woman
They're now estranged.
Both their lives
Are rearranged.

She thinks the break
Was all his fault.
He feels the fault
Was hers.

Now he has a dog
Who loves only him.
And when she strokes her cat
It purrs.

IF ONLY...

This week on Real Time with Bill Maher, the interview guest was Al Gore. I am delighted that Bill Maher introduced him as the 43rd President of the United States, which is what he was. There is no question that the presidency was stolen from him with the help of political thugs, Governor Jeb Bush, and the collusion of the Supreme Court. Sadly it was much more than a theft. It had terrible consequences. Because if Gore had served as president, we never would have gone to Iraq, those thousands of young Americans wouldn't have died in Iraq, nor would all those innocent civilians who would probably still be living under Saddam's rule, we would have made greater strides in combating global warming, and terrorists groups like ISIS would never have gotten the foothold nor the weapons nor the vehicles nor the hatred that was made possible by George Bush. And I don't doubt that Al Gore, a man of brilliance and character would have left behind an eight-year legacy of major and lasting accomplishments.