Put down that tray.

One of the habits of modern Americans that drives me wild is their willingness to perform inappropriate chores for high-priced businesses. Specifically, I am referring to their bussing their own tables after having a meal.  Don't get me wrong. I approve of doing this when the restaurant is a fast-food establishment with reasonable prices, or any restaurant with reasonable prices. Having to hire less maintenance help keeps the prices low. But one does not clean up after dining in an establishment that charges high prices, even if they do have a dozen well-placed trash bins. I noticed this recently at Disney World, where the prices are outrageously high, despite being a paper cup and foam outlet. Yet the ripped-off customers still robotically clean up after themselves. What's next: washing the dishes and mopping the floor?

A bad taste of Tinseltown.

Years ago when we moved to Los Angeles, my partner got a talent agent at the prestigious Artists Agency with his very first screenplay. This is an amazing achievement. As excited as the agent was about the first screenplay, he became even more enthusiastic about the second one and quickly got two film offers. Naturally we thought this meant imminent success, especially since the agent sent my partner around to several famous producers who had heard about his unique writing skills. In the meantime we were living on savings. Sadly nothing came of either offer because the agent was incompetent and soon screwed up all our opportunities for success. Since we were running out of money, we had to abandon dreams of Hollywood and move back to Miami. Today, we have a wealth of excellent screenplays and stage plays, but are unable to find an agent to even read them. For some reason talent agencies are the most tight-assed and neurotic of companies. They are terrified to even receive unrequested letters. I just placed a call to a Hollywood agency hoping to at least speak to someone. The young lady on the phone could not have sounded more terrified of hearing from me again than if I told her I was the Beverly Hills strangler. Why am I writing this?  Just to point out that all over American there are very talented writers, like my partner, who cannot even get a foot in the door because they don't have the right friends or connections. Which is one of the reasons so much of our entertainment today is committee-written crap.

It's hard to accept, but advertising agencies often guide our nation's morality. This commercial, for instance, by an unimaginative creative team, reminds us that Americans seem too think that cheating and bribing and not winning honestly are cause for amusement. It seems like a petty carp on my part, but it bothers me that so many commercials depend on the dishonesty of their characters to promote the product.

You'll see what a good idea this is.

This week I lost a relatively new pair of prescription sunglasses. I have no idea how I could have done that, but I'm pretty sure they're gone forever. Even if some thoughtful person found them, how would they now how to return them? Which got me thinking. There was a time when prescription glasses were sanely priced. Then, like most products,the merchants of greed realize they could demand more and get it. So now glasses cost anywhere from $300 to $700 on average. Of course, some companies advertise two pairs for under $100, or some other appealing figure. Yeah, right! But once you're in their web, they ask would you like them to be unbreakable? have thin lenses? be tinted? have that fabulous new optic process? not look like crap? etc. And voila! You've spent a fortune. So my question is this: Why don't optical companies engrave your telephone number into the ear piece (also called "arm" or "temple") you know, right next to the Calvin Klein or Oakley label. Then when you misplace this major investment, you just might just get it back. Of course, if this idea does catch on, expect them to charge you an extra $75.00 for the 5-minute service.

Riding God's gravy train.

I don't question that there are a lot of sincere Christians in America. But none of them are riding God's gravy train and raking in millions of dollars on the religious beliefs of all those who buy all this biblical nonsense. Every televangelist is a fraud  including  the much revered Billy Graham, probably the biggest charlatan of all. The most annoying fact about those who call themselves Christians is that they seem to have so little understanding of the book they love to quote. Like lemmings they show up at megachurches to give their hard-earned money to these flim-flam men and women. Jesus would have been appalled by anyone being chauffeured in a limousine while children are starving. He would have been sickened by ministers in thousand-dollar suits while the nation has so many homeless shelters. The obviously anti-Christ philosophies of these con artists seem to totally elude millions of the so-called faithful who tune into faith-based tv shows, shell out tons of money for bullshit books, and applaud wildly for the pious patricians who mostly pay lip service to those in need. I know I repeat this theme frequently. That's because it is so unbelievably obscene.

Note: How can anyone even look at Joel Osteen (above) without realizing this phony doesn't possess an an ounce of sincerity?  He's a megalomaniac who basks in the adoration of the ignorant. To him religion is a business, his worshippers are suckers, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find out he's an atheist. However, being an atheist, that wouldn't please me. Sadly he's just one of the many, many, grifters who have realized how profitable religion can be.

"Be a patriot? I would prefer not to."

America is in a very bad place. We have put power in the hands of an cowardly alcoholic and a group of Republicans who are as devoted to their jobs as Bartleby the Scrivener.

I just can't see it.

I see they are remaking Carrie, as it happens for the second time. Which leads to this question: Why? Why do they keep remaking good and great movies. I am not even a Stephen King fan and consider Carrie to be an excellent Gothic horror. Why remake it?  You won't find a Carrie as frightening and powerful as Sissy Spacek. You'll never cast a mother as hateful and annoyingly fanatic as as Piper Laurie. So, there's just no way this new Carrie will out-horror the original. Why doesn't Hollywood remake movies in which the original stank, like Camelot or Finian's Rainbow Ivanhoe  or Forever Amber? No.  Instead they remake classic superior-quality films like Raisin in the Sun, The Manchurian Candidate, and Psycho. All fabulous originals, and lousy remakes. The arrogance of these directors who feel they can improve on perfection. Yes, they may have some success at the box office because most people know very little about film history. But they are ultimately a waste of time and money. And what makes them even more detestable is that these crappy remakes are what will be shown on regular tv while the superb originals are kept hidden from viewers as if they never existed.