TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, BUT NOT TOO CLOSE.

This is Donald Trump, your hero. He's 77years old, wears makeup, dyes his thinning hair, has had plastic surgery which has left him with fish eyes, and he's wearing Depends as he may piss is pants or shit himself at any moment, (thus the not-too-close warning). He claims to be a genius and a self-made man. Neither is true. What he lacks in brains, he makes up in cunning.  And his slum-lord father left him with millions of dollars, most of which he lost and regained in corrupt business deals, not paying his bills, and cheating his business associates and the IRS. He claims to be religious. He is not. He once admitted being an atheist until he realized that most of his possible donors are Christians and even Evangelicals. He claims to like his followers. Another lie. He looks down on anyone not wealthy, attractive, or beneficial to him. While presently impotent, he's had a very active sex life with models, actresses, and under-age girls provided by his good friend and billionaire pimp. Needless to say his three wives had to deal with his promiscuity. The one who accused him of beating her lived with his abuse and on her death he consigned her body to a golf course.For some reason his millions of cultists adore him and credit him with wisdom and intelligence he doesn't possess, blindly overlooking every cruelty, vulgarity, and Hitleresque statement. Though none of his adoring nobodies will ever get within touching distance, they seem to feel a nonexistent closeness which he cultivates for its profit potential. At the moment this narcissistic, would-be dictator is facing dozens of court cases and possible jail time, yet despite his despicable past and present demonic behavior, including insurrection, he plans to run for President, confident in securing the votes of his delusional fans. And apparently our Nation's standards have sunk so low and the Republican Party has become so traitorous and corrupt, they will let him. 

THE PARTY IS OVER -ALMOST

Any country that is willing to let an old, lying.thieving, narcissistic, evil, hate-filled, insurrectionist  misanthrope run for its highest office is doomed. That is a country without standards, morals, ethics and rule of law. It is a country whose structure has begun to cave despite the good people who are trying to hold it together. It is blind country, a lost country, a country ruled by greed, ignorance, and hypocrisy. It is destined to become a pitiable wasteland, ruled by strong, greedy, heartless, mostly men, ruled by an autocratic megalomaniac for whom nothing is too strict or unthinkable. It is likely to become a monotheistic dictatorship that demands allegiance to a single restructured irrelevant religion that has very little to do with any code of kindness or fellowship. But is not unsalvageable.  If its citizens wake in time, they can prevent the idiocy of seating a satanic leader and strive to regain their humanity and harmony and move forward into a brighter less vulnerable future. If they do not do so, they can anticipate an increasingly dismal tomorrow in a country that has become a cancer that has spread to every once-peaceful corner of the world.

MAYFAIR, YOU HAVE WHAT I DON'T WANT.

 I don't want complications and Mayfair put me through hell. On 12-1-I order a rug for $261. The next day I cancelled it. They said I couldn't cancel it because it was on the truck and that I would have to call the delivery company. The next I spend an hour on phone with Federal Express and could not reach the right department. I called Mayfair back, jumped through more hoops and was told that they would deliver the rug that I didn't want and then I should ship it back to them. I refused this insanity and  got a rep who said that I could refuse delivery and would get a credit. That seemed fine until a month later when me credit card statement list the rug. Expecting a credit I called Truist Bank, an exhausting job in itself. After being hung up on twice I finally got a rep who said no credit has been issued. I then called Mayfair after locating their well hidden secret number and was told they would issue the long overdue credit. All this blood-pressure raising fuss over a rug I cancelled within a day. You can be certain I will never purchase another item from Wayfair.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SPORTS FANS?

 I am not a sports fans. But it seems like everybody is into something: football, baseball, hockey, tennis, etc. What I find most fascinating about sports is how expensive the games are. Football fans never complain about paying exorbitant price to go to a game, any more than they deny a player millions of dollars in compensation for engaging a kids' sport. I have yet to meet a fan who resents having to pay a ransom to attend a game. They all seem content to watch it on TV with the endless commercials each game entails. They only seem unhappy when they can't got to the Super Bowl or the World Series. If I were a fan I would be furious at the greedy bastards who prevent me from live attendance, and I sure as hell would not hero worship the players who are making the kind of fortunes that make my tickets so financially unaffordable.

POLICE ABUSE

I love true crime shows. It seems like most police and detectives do a good job of bringing criminals to justice. What amazes me is what they are mostly terrible at: English. I almost never hear anyone in law enforcement refer to the dead person at lying on the rug, the lawn, the highway, they invariably use the incorrect laying instead. This is not nearly as annoying as the number of crime fighters who think that drug is a past tense of drag. It isn't. There is no such usage. Yet they continue to say, "He drug her body across the field" instead of the correct, "He dragged her body etc." I am surprised that the producers of these shows don't correct these misspeaks. Hmmm. Maybe they don't know.

A STATE OF IGNORANCE

The news today reported that the State of Florid had hundeds of books banned in Orange County, including such revered classics as I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.  It amazes me that in 2023 a group o religious prudes led by prissy Governor DeSantis can accomplish such an insane attack on literature. What  motivates these narrow-minded morons other than the fear of sex or the greater fear that someone they don't know will enjoy themselves or be uplifted by new ideas. And why does an entire state put up with this assault on intellect. Ron DeSantis and his equally neurotic wife have been a cancer on this state, two out of control whack jobs who are not only hurting the state, but their own children who must be under such severe control and brainwashing they are destined to be totally ignorant of the real world. One hopes that when DeSantis is out of office and replaced by a sane governor, this banned book list will be cancelled, Floridians will return to free choice, and the DeSantis reign of stupidity will be a laughable distant memory.

POOR RUDY COULD BE POOR YOU.

 Look what's happened to Rudy Giuliani since he got involved with Trump. He's lost his fortune, his image, his apartment, his everything. But then most people who get involved with Trump end up unpaid, unadmired and generally less wealthy. If you admire and plan to vote for Trump, you should consider how much it may cost you in personal freedom, individual wealth.and in having to conform to lots of new rules. If you feel that America hasn't been as kind to you as you'd like, vote for Trump. But don't say later you weren't warned.

WISE ADVICE TO WOULD-BE WRITERS.

 

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words.

Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become

monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is

getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record.

The ear demands some variety.

Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music.

Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a

harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of

medium length. And sometimes when I am certain the reader

is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable

length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all

the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of

the cymbals--sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

So write with a combination of short, medium, and long

sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't

just write words. Write music.

Gary Provost

WHY I DON'T LIKE LAUREN BACALL

I had always admired Lauren Bacall for her beauty, and-yes-I believed all that publicity about her perfect marriage to Humphrey Bogart, cut short by his fatal illness. To me she was another perfect Hollywood actress-until she proved otherwise. My brother Gary was at the height of his writing career in 1995. He had written several books on the art of writing, a few true crimes, and was engaged in writing biographies for Kelsey Grammar and Humphrey Bogart's son, Paul. He was returning from California to his home in Massachusetts when he suffered a heart attack and died at age 50. Kelsey had to finish his bio himself, but the Bogart book In Search of My Father was ready for press.That's when Lauren showed her true colors. She figured since Gary was dead anyway, then all the credit for his book should go to her son-in other words, "Screw Gary". Unfortunately she was successful in this selfish and heartless ploy and many listings for In Search of My Father do not mention Gary. Just as well since it proved to be of Gary's less successful books since Paul Bogart was hardly a subject for admiration or curiosity. So it seems Lauren played the part of a bitch without much success.

MESSAGE TO DESANTIS,

I am 81 years old. Since I was 14 I have read hundreds of books, many that you would ban. Since I didn't finish school, books were my main education and led me to a very successful career as a writer. But my favorite of all books were true crime stories. I have read hundreds of tales of murderers, thieves, liars, gangs, every aspect of crime. I also watch such stories on TV. And guess what Boots? I have never committed a crime, robbed a store, murdered an enemy or been arrested for anything. So there goes your theory that books corrupt young minds. Having a curious mind, I can only wonder what traumas led you to be such an angry prude and megalomaniac who wants to dictate what others can read and learn. I feel certain that your many sins and autocratic ways will someday be in a tell-all book and I can't wait to read it. 

 ALL RELIGION IS CULT.

"WITH TRUMP EVERY ACCUSATION IS A CONFESSION." 

My Cats Are Democrats

NINE JUDGES, MOSTLY NINNIES.

 How can you have an effective and respected Supreme Court when most of the judges actually believe there is a man in the sky who wants you to follow the dictates of a century-old book of superstitions? Our court has one lying alcoholic molester, one pussy-whipped free loader whose dominating traitorous wife gives him orders. and a woman who is more interested in pleasing the aforementioned non-existent diety than the very real citizens of the United States. This evil minority has already signed the death warrant of many pregnant women and will continue to pass laws based on their own beliefs rather than the U.S Constitution, the actual job for which they are being handsomely paid. 

ABORTION IS A CATHOLIC CAUSE

 Every time I see a report on television about abortion, they always talk around the main issue. The desire for abortion prevention is mostly centered with bigoted Christian men whose goal is not to assure the birth of unwanted babies, but to punish woman for the vile crime of having sex and enjoying  it. Usually these men are white, old, fat religious and racist. Equally unattractive and sexually conflicted are most of the women who promote this cause. They are all generally Bible-thumpers although the Bible has nothing to say about abortion and in fact has many incidents of the murder of infants. Mainly Republicans in state legislatures, the majority of  the failed Supreme Court and wackos like Mike Johnson are eager to turn our democracy into a theocracy, making everyone not Christian a second-class citizen, The irony is that these zealots are faux-Christians themselves, petty yet powerful hypocrites who are constantly going against the teachings of Christ. While they constantly battle to assure the birth of unwanted babies, they have zero interest in providing for the mother in need , paying for the funeral expenses of those who died in pregnancy  or the life-long expenses of the infants they left behind.

GOD SAVE AMERICA.

Surely some can do a recording of this song parody,

God save America. Save us from Trump.

He’s a liar, a coward

Who treats everyone as a chump.

From his stealing, to his cheating

To his endless acts of sin.

God save America. Don’t let Trump win.

 

God save America. Don’t let Trump win.

He’ll divide us, misguide is.

Tear our country apart with a grin,

He’s a godless, evil demon,

A cruel and heartless gnome.

God save America, my home sweet home.

  

Most Vet Bills are Great no Small.

 I remember when veterinarians cared about animals. They were always portrayed in dramas like All Creatures Great and Small as capable, warm-hearted  doctors who did their best to cure any creature in pain without asking much of their owners. No more.Today's vets are incredibly expensive  and seem to care more about the dollar than the dog. Suspecting my cat has diabetes I called a traveling vet. Though he is not that far away he quoted $195 just to show up before any charges for care. I quit my old vet when every average visit cost $200 or more. Another vet, who treated a truly beloved cat cost me $1,600 and the cat died anyway under her incompetent care. Greed is everywhere and there's no reason vets shouldn't jump on the bandwagon. But most people can't afford these costly charges, which means that many animals will go undiagnosed, untreated, un-vaccined and generally unseen because regular checkups and treatment are too damned expensive. 

Far too much information.

I like standup comics. Very often they say highly trenchant and funny things I admire. But I am not interested in their body functions and sexual activities, which seems to occupy most of today's male and female comics. Call me odd, but diarrhea, constipation, gas etc. are not funny and will amuse only the sickest scatalogical audience members. I also am not interest in their sex lives. I just watched an otherwise funny young woman tell me more than I wanted to know about giving a date a hand job.. Yuck. Sadly because audiences are so stupid, today's comics are terrrified of using too few fucks and shits. I can no longer watch Sarah Silverman since I am still disgusted by her routine about her sister's incontinence. True the audiences seem to be amused but these vulgar disclosures, but I suspect many are also offended and only want to seem cool to the otherwise low brow audience.George Carlin where are you?

AMERICA'S RICHEST LIARS.

 The winners in this category are Quincy Bioscience makers of Prevagen, a product that claims to stimulate the memory despite not having an iota of  proof. Yet they continue to sell this placebo at the outrageous price of $40 plus a month. Aiding them are lots of other liars, the persons in their many commercials who swear they are achieving miraculous results that are unlikely or impossible. These liars encourage naive TV viewers to waste money month after month on these useless pills. Sadly this is a very successful scam considering how many costly commercials are run and how often. I should feel sorry for the gullible customers who buy this snake oil, and end up lying to themselves about non-existent benefits.  Still if one doesn't do a little research, one deserves to be screwed.