TOO GOOD TO LAST.

Once upon a time TD Banks had a wonderful coin counting machine called Penny Arcade. It was easy and fun to use, and free of a percentage charge to the bank's customers. I used it several times. Then one day some neurotic malcontent was short-changed and made such a fuss that all these convenient machines were removed for all the banks. Today I receive a postcard asking if I wanted to be part of the Penny Arcade settlement, obviously a ridiculous lawsuit from which only lawyers will profit. Meanwhile all the TD customers will have to have their change counted at machines in supermarkets or other locations and pay a percentage of 7-10%. All because some idiot probably lost a dollar or two from a malfunctioning Penny Arcade.

Some more of my doggerel

A boy and a girl

Who were total strangers

Fell in love

Despite the dangers.

She felt that love

Made her a queen.

He felt it made him a hero.

They scaled heights

That few can reach

But soon were back to zero.

They were like a dog and cat.

He needed constant attention.

And though she needed care,

She needed lots of time alone,

And he was always there.

As a man and woman

They're now estranged

Both their lives are rearranged.

She thinks the break

Was all his fault.

He feels the fault

Was hers.

Now he has a dog

Who loves only him.

And she has a cat

She rarely pets

But when she does, it purrs.

"Of course I still love you, Stevie. But I have to let you go. You'll see it's all for the best. We still have Charlottesville."

TRADING IN LIES.

There was a time in America, not long ago, when we had Truth in Advertising. You could not make claims for products that we're true. If you did an ad for The Lottery, you couldn't show someone winning and celebrating joyously since most people don't win. You couldn't, like Bayer, suggest that
your aspirin would help you during a heart attack or prevent a stroke. And, if you promoted investments, you could not suggest that you will double your money if in fact you could just as easily lose it all. I miss these rules. Especially now when I see ads for E-Trade that suggest you could be flying first class and living a more luxurious life if you become a client of E-Trade; or Bayer suggesting that their overpriced aspirin is the sure preventative for practically everything but cancer. There are so many deceptive ads out there. All no more truthful than the slender blonde who says, "With these little pills, I lost 10 pounds in the very first week."

"WHAT ME WORRY?"

We are not in danger of a nuclear attack by North Korea. That's absurd. With Trump in the presidency, Jared Kusher in charge of running the nation, and Ivanka handling all possible Chinese clothing contracts,  all petulant Kim Jong-Un has to do is watch American westerns until America destroys itself. It's sure to happen, considering that the cowardly Republic majority has no intention of reining in our insane president. Turtly Mitch McConnell and his toadie wife remain reticent about any goal of removing Trump, while most other congressmen sit on their hands (except of course for the position of one thumb). One doesn't hear a peep from the still-loyal Trumpers who should be shouting, "What have I done." and begging their non-existent god for forgiveness. So here we are in the country Trump would make great again with no new health care, no infrastructure, no tax reform, no unity, no pride, no European admirers, and no idea how long we'll have to put up with this Nazi-loving ninny.

HAIL TO THE CHIEF.

One thing Donald Trump never has to worry about is citizens removing a statue of him, because there's no chance there will ever be any. Unless, of course he commissions one himself as he has done with several flattering portraits. The only true full-size likeness of Trump we're ever likely to see is the one shown here. I admit this also is a bit too flattering to the president, but c'est la vie. Of course it hasn't remained for long in public parks, but has been highly popular in five American cities.I couldn't find the name of the inspired artist, but I read that statue was commissioned by a god-bless-him millionaire and it's titled, "The Emperor Has No Balls" which is as appropriate a title as Rodin's "The Thinker".

"SHALL I STAY, OR SHALL I GO?"

One has to wonder why Jared Kushner is still working in the Trump White House. Isn't that a bit like having a rabbi be Hitler's right-hand man. I'm sure Jared loves the power that goes with his incompetency as much as his vapid wife adores her undeserved office. But still, you would think Jared would speak up about daddy-in-law's racism. Well, maybe not speak, but at least do some dramatic charades. And what about Jared's very pious ex-con father? He must certainly be highly offended by Donald's anti-semitism, but maybe not enough to endanger any arrangements that both crime families made with Mr. Putin. It's a mystery. I can't imagine how the Kushners can hold their heads up in temple after the president's endorsement of the Neo Nazis. Of course Trump has no trouble holding his head up in church because he never goes to church.

August 18: Bannon was fired today. Shame on you Jared, you were still there at the time. You would have left ages ago if you had any integrity, but you and your wife love your anti-semitic playpen.

We all know that President Trump is a not highly literate. He probably has a vocabulary of several hundred words, which is why he repeats himself so much. One wonders if even had English in school since he makes so many grammatical mistakes. But the most egregious error he keeps making is one of my pet peeves. He often uses expressions like, "If I would have known." or "If I would have been there." Why can't this Wharton scholar (not) hear how horribly inaccurate this expression is, especially since it can be fixed with the simple word, "had". Example: "If I had known decades ago that America was going to elect a deranged, immoral, racist, I would be resettled in Europe by now."

IT COULD HAPPEN HERE

Our deranged president has today blamed those who protested Neo-Nazis, Klansmen and other vile racists, as equally guilty, citing their anger and aggression. He, being a racist himself, sees these protests as a bad thing. But think how much better the world would be today if more brave citizens protested the original Nazis in the early days of the Third Reich.

NO CAPTION NEEDED

IN MEMORIAM, BARBARA COOK

Barbara Cook, one of America's greatest talents is gone. But what a remarkable life.  She was a slender young ingenue on Broadway, who starred in such 50s musicals as Flahooley, Plain and Fancy, The Music Man and Candide. When her career went into decline she became an overweight and unemployed alcoholic. But with the help of musician Wally Harper she overcame her addiction and made a triumphal comeback concert at Carnegie Hall. Together they began a successful collaboration that lasted for 31 years. Barbara  Cook continued to perform to sold-out concert and cabaret audiences throughout the world well into her 80s. (After a concert in London, leading critic Alistair Macaulay proclaimed her"the greatest singer in the world".) If you look her up on YouTube, you will see many celebrity tributes to Barbara Cook for whom Broadway dimmed their lights on the night of August 9. Not surprisingly the naive TV networks did not recognize the immense importance of this musical legend. I tried to include her signature song "Ice Cream" from She Loves Me, but being a Luddite, I failed.  If you are not familiar with Barbara Cook, I encourage you to seek out her singing "Ice Cream" as well as many other famous songs that she delivers like nobody else in the world.

ANTI-DOGMA DOGGEREL

Here's a truth I'd like to share:
There's no such thing as an answered prayer.
If you get what you prayed for,
You're full of praise.
If you don't,
"He works in mysterious ways."

MORE THAN A MEMORY.

My brother Gary Provost. a very successful writer and teacher, died 22 years ago. He had just returned from a trip to California in which he was working with Kelsey Grammer to write that popular actor's biography. He no sooner returned to Massachusetts than he suffered a heart attack and died the same day. This was a great loss to his family, his students, his readers and his fans. In addition to his many popular books, he created a video workshop called Write It/Sell It. For the past 22 years, I have been unwilling to view these CDs. But recently I felt I wanted to see Gary again. Today the CD collection arrived from his widow who has continued his workshops. Instead of finding it disturbing, I found it incredibly inspiring. Gary was a greater teacher than even I knew. His insights were brilliant. His presentation clear and logical. Spending hours with him again was  wonderfully educational. How nice that he taught me so much about writing decades after the day I thought I would never see him again. I'm proud to say that anyone who has any ambitions to be a writer will benefit greatly from this video course from my immensely admired and greatly missed brother.

INCENDIARY IDIOT

Trump is such a dangerous mental case that he's about to unleash a holocaust. He is so stupid, so dense that he sees North Korea as a single enemy. He has no concept that it is a country of men, women and children. He only sees leaders who are his enemies. So it would give him great satisfaction to nuke this country, having no regret or sorrow about the millions of innocent people who have to die. And if thousands of Americans have to perish as well, well that's the cost of his enormous ego. Our Congress is a collection of traitorous cowards who have given this maniac free rein to pass punishing bills, trash Constitutional laws and collude with foreign enemies. Why? Because they are lazy? frightened? complacent? We are on the borderline of a nightmare. Once we cross it, there is no going back..

GORGEOUS LOOKALIKES.

Despite an eight year difference in their ages, I think super talented actresses Kelly Reilly and Anna Kendrick bear a  striking resemblance. And even if you don't agree, it beats talking about Trump. 

WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME.

What the hell is Congress waiting for? The time to impeach Trump is now. There is a madman running this country and the Republicans are letting him do it. When will they act? After there is a nuclear conflict ? Does anyone doubt that this maniacal asshole is a present and immediate danger to the United States. When will the GOP stand up? After the destruction of Guam? After the obliteration of an American city? Is that when the cowardly Republicans will cry mea culpa and claim they never thought this could happen?  Our president is such a fucking nutcase it is easy to imagine him having the same mindset as Major "King" Kong (Slim Pickins) at the end of, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN'

THEY'RE OUT THERE, LIKE RACCOONS.

• If you're one of those morons who joined the many protests against Obama, and the kind of simpleton who, even today, says that Obama was a lousy president, and giggles each time an equally brainless Republican makes a disparaging remark about Barack or his beautiful wife, then you have to face up to one thing: You are a racist. You are absolutely a racist. There's no getting away from it. Your only possible reason to hate Obama is his color.  Because Obama despite your uneducated judgement, was a great president. He was brilliant and calm, hardworking and honest. He was a uniter (except for racists like you). He was lean and healthy, handsome and funny. He dressed beautifully He spoke elegantly. He made important changes, which racists like you refuse to acknowledge. He took unfair abuse (like yours) with grace. He bore his exceptional superiority with modesty. He was a nearly perfect man. So when people like you denigrate President Barack Obama, all you are doing is saying, "I am a racist, who is so jealous of someone so far superior to me I can only express myself in vitriol, and will always refuse to admit the great good that Obama has done for this country."
• 
  
• P.S. Ultimately what Obama possessed was class and refinement, something those who vilify him will live a lifetime without.

THE CHAIR RECOGNIZES MR. TRUMP.

What could be a better symbol of our do-nothing, know-nothing, wimpy, whiny, overweight president than this cover of Newsweek? It captures our Commander in Chief in all his gory: sullen, bitter, inert and alone. Here he sits with his overworked remote, unresolved angers and Nutsy Squirell*tie tuned into Fox News where Fox and Friends are his only friends. He began his presidency believing that the would be the greatest president of all. He saw cheering crowds, dozens of bridge openings, yes, even his image added to Mount Rushmore. Yet here he is during his first year, a flaccid, feckless failure. A pathetic incompetent who has to make frequent trips to the hinterland where gullible morons are assembled to cheer his every inanity.

*NOTE: Nutsy Squirrel is an antrhopomorphic character by DC Comics. As you can see Nutsy, like also nutsy Trump, wore his necktie ridiculously long. But one doesn't expect a cartoon to know better.

PERFECT CASTING.

The best person to portray Stephen Miller when they do a film about the downfall and humiliation of Donald Trump would be a actor who is nearly as disliked as Miller himself, and just as unpleasant to look at: Pauley Shore.

Note: When I wrote this post, I had no idea that in a short time Pauley Shore would actually do an imitation of Stephen Miller. While the imitation has been praised, I think it would have been more effective if Shore has repeated word for word Miller's insane vitriol.