"Francis, how could you?"

If it is true that Pope Francis met with Kim Davis and her husband at the Vatican Embassy and told her to "stay strong" then he has pissed on all the goodwill he had created during his visit. This would mean that he honored this evangelical homophobic harridan with an audience no matter how brief. Further it would mean he not only encouraged her to break the laws of our nation, but he dignified her hatred for gays. It is obscene that a lowbrow redneck like Davis has managed to insert herself into the news when she should be in jail, or at least on the unemployment line. But that she, hater that she is, gains the kind of privilege that millions of law-abiding, good-hearted Catholics would treasure is beyond offensive. The Vatican must come out and reveal the details of this alleged meeting. If what this miserable creature has said is true then she has totally corrupted the  beauty of his visit, and shown him to be far less wise than we have all given him credit for. I, for one, felt very encouraged by his visit and his apparent ability to create harmony. What a shame it would be if he actually endorsed the bigotry and malice of such a despicable cretin.

They were so not wunnerful.

Is it just me or were Bobby and Cissie the worst dance team ever. The steps seem to be done all right then why is the entire effect so sickening sweet and amateurish. How is it possible that this dreadful dance team performed week after week on the why-was-it-so-popular Lawrence Welk Show? But then again everything on that program was treacly and awful. The singers, the costumes, the band's pastel polyester suits. Between Arthur Duncan and Bobby Burgess, Lawrence Welk cornered the market on terpsichorean mediocrity, though even Arthur seems professional when one considers Bobby's ever-facing-forward obsession and never-fading Cheshire cat grin. One has to credit Lawrence Welk for one thing: He proved that real talent is not necessarily what audiences crave. His program was on national television for over 50 years, and is still being seen in repeats, and I doubt that there was ever a single show that you could say was first-class entertainment.

Heaven help us.

I like the Pope. I really do. He's certainly the first breath of fresh air in the opulent, hypocritical and destructive Catholic church. Still, being an atheist, there is a certain aspect of  his visit that troubles me. I can't help wondering why they needed so much security everywhere he went. There were snipers and bodyguards at every stop to prevent any assaults on the Pope. But if he is the emissary for God on Earth and if Catholics sincerely believe there is an Almighty, why wouldn't they assume that God, with all his powers, would protect the Pope? Isn't this just another hypocrisy of religion? Believers pray to  an all-seeing, all-knowing being for everything from an end to a drought to a new bicycle, yet they don't trust Him to protect one little man on a visit to the United States. I'd say this represents a serious lack of faith.

A word in trouble.

Growing up in Boston during the 50s we were taught that you always pronounced "the" as thee when it preceded a vowel. Happily this was the rule and national standard, since it sounds much more euphonic.  But more and more it has fallen out of favor due, I imagine, to ignorance and laziness. Just now there was a report on the NBC evening news and the reporter spoke of thu accident and thu emergency crew and thu everything that began with a vowel. I think it's a shame that this ugly, flat thu sound is becoming so acceptable. I cannot accept, taking one of millions of examples that thu ocean will ever sound as beautiful as thee ocean does.

"It worked, by God, it worked!"

I have a new theory about Kim Davis. I am beginning to think that she's not all that religious. I suspect she saw marriage licenses for gays as an opportunity to catapult herself in the national spotlight, which she has done. True she is making $80,000 a year, a generous sum for such an ordinary person in an ordinary job. But like many ciphers, she wanted to be famous. And completely lacking in beauty and intelligence (but not guile) she hit on this scam. In short, she's a grifter. If she denied issuing licenses by pretending it was to honor God, and she didn't get the publicity she hoped for, she could always relent and go back to her overpaid job. But her scam worked and she was suddenly in the national news. Going to jail could only provide her with more publicity and a kind of martyrdom. Now she was on television and being interviewed and even the gullible Mike Huckabee fell for her scam and became her champion. This was going better than she hoped. It was easy enough to keep pushing the religion malarkey since she was an Apostolic Christian until she hit on this far more soul-satisfying ruse. She was elated. She could see the book deal coming her way, maybe a movie. Of course she had to explain why Biblical law didn't prevent her four marriages, three divorces, serial adultery and the early arrival of bastard twins. Easy. She said God cleansed her of those sins. Then why not issue the licenses and get cleansed again? Because it wasn't part of the plan. Recently her gay friends say they don't recognize her as the person they knew. Of course not. They're not in on the scam. All right, it's only a theory. But it would explain a lot more about this harridan Kim Davis than a supposed act of conscience from someone who so obviously has never operated out of conscience.

A good man, but just a man.

The good news is that Pope Francis is good and kind and decent and humble and every other virtue you can list. The bad news is that, in 2015, we are still living in an age of superstition and magical thinking. As an atheist it amazes me to hear anyone, much less the President, talk about god-given rights or anything god-given. Naturally I am appalled by Kim Davis and her rigid belief that by denying marriage licenses to gays, she is doing god's work. And what does she base it on? The parts of the bible that she can interpret to her liking while ignoring those passages that suggest she should be stoned. But all religious people are doing what Kim does in one way or another, convinced that there is omniscient being somewhere out there who keeps track of every moment of their lives along with the zillions of moments of everybody's lives and plans some day to round everyone up who ever lived and sort them out for eternal bliss or eternal damnation. This is a popular belief in 2015, based on a much-edited and revised book written thousands of years ago by mostly unknown authors who weren't even aware of the science of their times and the vastness of the Earth despite being on speaking terms with the Creator himself. So, yes, I'm glad to see this far more open-minded Pope come to America and promote world peace and greater generosity to those who are poor and oppressed. But, no, I am not impressed with the array of sanctimonious and far too-often fat cardinals and priests. And I am saddened to see many thousands of worshippers desperate for a blessing that will likely make no difference in their lives.

American hero.

Just when you begin to despair about the kindness of people, especially in Texas, you get a story like this. Eugene Bostick and his brother own a horse barn in Fort Worth, Texas. Sadly it is located in an area where lots of heartless people abandon unwanted dogs. Fortunately for the dogs, Eugene and his brother take them in, feed them, and give them shelter. But they also wanted to give them some fun. Which is why he created the dog train, which takes these lucky dogs for daily trips outside the farm. These are the kind of Americans who should be honored and rewarded.

Are films this bad a sin?

2014 was a terrible year for the Bible. In that one year two of the worst biblical epics ever were unleashed on the public: Noah and Exodus: Gods and Kings. It would be very hard to say which film was more absurd and boring, but either could turn you into an atheist. Noah showed just how unlikely it was that one man could build the ark and round up all the creatures in the world, or why. And it gave  the very serious Russell Crowe one of the worst roles of his career. Exodus: Gods and Kings tried to give some logic to the story of Moses and failed miserably but did offer Christian Bale the very worst role of his career. At least Russell was recognizable, but Christian was so scraggly and whispery through the entire film, it could have been anybody. The big question is why inconsistent directors like Darren Aronofsky and Ridley Scott are handed the reins of these multi-million dollar epics. I guess their tepid efforts are profit making if not incredibly entertaining. Every Easter for decades the networks have run Cecile B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments. Why? Because people still watch it because it's exciting. I don't think many people will be rewatching either the nonsensical Noah or the seemingly endless Exodus: Gods and Kings.

What's the dif?

On last night's debate American Taliban leader Mike Huckabee said that there should be accommodations for religious zealots like Kim Davis. This would mean, of course, making thousands of accommodations for all kinds of beliefs. Although I'm sure Huckabee and Santorum only want accommodations for Christians. Being an atheist I think god is a lot of hooey and I don't see why we should allow someone to break the law for a deity for which there isn't a shred of evidence. On the other hand, I do think the number 13 is unlucky. Considering that, I will not go to work on the 13th of any month and I don't think I should be fired for my absence. I also refuse to attend any business meeting at an address with a 13 in it, will not board a plane with a 13 in its flight number, or purchase anything with a 13 in the price. I think my belief is every bit as valid as interpreting something from a ancient book in which they authors didn't even know there were other parts of the world. Since religion and superstitions are basically the same thing, I am sure the Republicans will have no problem with my request.

This is what insincere looks like.

Even if I liked him, which I don't, I couldn't bear to look at that wimpy shit-eating smirk for four years.

It's only a theory.

Some people believe if you lead a good life it will show on your face. Not that you'll look saintly or beatific, but perhaps you'll have a pleasant and serene countenance. Still others think that if you are an evil or reprehensible person, someone who leads a selfish, greedy and possibly dissolute life that will show on your face. I doubt either theory, because who could possibly lead a life this bad?

Second in the polls? Not so fast.

An article in the The Week by Paul Waldman stated, "America—or at least a healthy chunk of the Republican electorate—is apparently ready for Ben Carson." I don't buy that for a minute. You can't tell me that a group as prejudiced as the Republican electorate and so filled with hate for President Obama has suddenly embraced a black man, not as brilliant and twice as dark, even if he is a handsome leading neurosurgeon.  My theory, which will probably be ridiculed is this. Since it's early in the choosing process and the contenders are not very exciting, the right wingers are having their revenge. First by falling all over Donald Trump, a boor who  puts into words their intense anger at just about everything. And secondly by feigning to adore Carson, which translates into, "that'll show you Obama that we were not racist. We just hate you to pieces, and that goes for your family and your uppity dog." How satisfying it is for them to appear to promote Carson and toss off the accusation of bigot. It's not like they have to keep up the ruse until they choose a candidate. By then Trump will be gone and so will Carson. Trump will be gone because they will all have shot their wad of severe hatred attending his rallies and watching him upset the media, the Mexicans, and everybody else. That's when Donald's polls will tumble and he will realize they never really loved him and go back to pretending he has ten times more money than he does. Carson will not only be dismissed, but he'll feel the slap of racial prejudice that he was spared when he was still a serviceable attack dog against Obama. Fortunately he can return to a highly successful medical practice. By that time the  scurvy group of contenders will have come crawling back and one of them will be in the lead— the real lead.

Finally!

I am delighted to see that Italy's top criminal court has thrown out past convictions for Amanda Knox and her Italian boyfriend because there was no proof they were at the crime scene. The court has faulted the prosecutors for presenting a flawed and hastily constructed case, and vindicated the pair once and for all for the 2007 murder of Meredith Kercher in Perugia, Italy. Having read the so-called evidence, I never believed for a moment Ms. Knox has any part in this murder, and was always disturbed by the large number of hate-filled detractors who were so certain—without reason—that this young couple were savage killers. The motive alone dreamed up by the nutty prosecutor was absurd enough: Supposedly they killed her because she refused to have an orgy with them and street person, drug dealer, Rudy Guede. He by the way was the sole and ruthless killer whom the generous court only sentenced to 16 years in prison. I'm sure all the emotionally disturbed people who chose to hate Amanda will continue to think the worst, as that's what those people do. But no matter. Now Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito can live their lives free from being hounded by their own Inspector Javert, the evil and obsessed Giuliano Mignini.

I can't find the actual poster, and probably most people have seen it by now. But in case you haven't here's my homemade version of it.

WHEN YOU'RE SO ANTI-GAY, 

NOBODY WILL DO YOUR HAIR.

The crossed wires of religions.

Because of her religion, a Muslim flight attendant for ExpressJet was suspended for refusing to serve alcohol, which is part of her job. Because of her religion (and innate bigotry) crazy Kim Davis is in jail for contempt of course after refusing to issue gay marriage licenses, which is part of her job. At the same time nutcases like Mike Huckabee think Davis has a case because his magical thinking is related to Christianity, which is only one of many religions. So if we let everyone in society, who believes in an imaginary deity sans any proof, refuse to fulfill their legal or job responsibilities, over some ancient taboo or imagined no no, we'll have chaos. Which is why the separation of church and state should be maintained and all these aggressive and obsessive zealots should be required to obey the law of the land. If they don't like what they have to do on the job they're being paid for, find another job, but don't expect your employer or society at large to bow and scrape to your religion, which may be no more real or believable to others than Santa Claus. If you actually believe there's a god out there who pays any attention to you, I suggest you have a chat with him or her. Ask your god if it would be all right if you worshipped and chatted with him or her or it in the privacy of your own home or in a house of worship where others who believe the same thing congregate. That way we can all get on with our lives.

"C'mon God. Not even a pound?"

Why do you suppose god was so chatty in the Old Testament?  He would jaw with just about anyone, mostly by scolding them or warning them of a coming danger, you know like The Flood and Sodom and Gomorrah. And he wasn't stingy with miracles. You had your rod turned into a snake, locusts, frogs, the Nile going all bloody, and the piece de resistance: Parting the Red Sea. And he formed very personal relationships with people like Abraham, who he seemed to like to play practical jokes on. Now, nothing. No chatting. No miracles. No jokes. He won't even talk to his supposed biggest fans like  Kim Davis. She can rot in prison for all he (or she) cares. He refuses to let Huckabee lose those 20 extra pounds, and Mike is one of his biggest  (in every sense) supporters. In fact this year god has burned down a lot of churches, destroyed a lot of religious communities, and tossed perfectly nice people out of their countries, that is he didn't get them killed before they could escape. At the time he has made lots of nasty people—like Trump, for instance—very successful. All over the world people are rolling in money, success, and fame who probably don't even believe in him. Kind of makes you wonder, "Is anybody there?".

Smart Water. Stupid ads.

Some of the dumbest, most meaningless ads I've seen lately are on full-sized, outdoor posters.  The latest and dumbest of them all is for something called Glaceau smart water.  This black and white poster has a second-rate photo of whom I assume is Jennifer Aniston, looking not her best Her eyes are over made up, her hair is ratty, and she is wearing a white blouse and nondescript suit. Why?  The illogical headline for this already idiotic ad  is  "sip pitch  fast track", which of course means absolutely nothing as do so many utterly clever ads today. The follow-up copy assures us that this water was "inspired by the clouds" and to add a touch more absurdity the words next to the bottle are "up, up, up".  I suspect that Glaceau smart water is not inspired so much by the clouds as some American city's water supply. But why Jennifer, if it is Jennifer, would agree to look so dopey is beyond me.

The cruelty of birth.

While this European refugee crisis is sad and disturbing, it's also infuriating. I can't imagine why people bring children into the world when they are not sure they can make them safe, healthy, and happy. It is shocking to see the vast numbers of  these sad children being dragged from place to place, homeless, hopeless and hungry. Don't people have any idea of what their future prospects are before they carelessly introduce a new life into this troubled planet? Perhaps many of these refugees didn't anticipate these disastrous time, but I'm sure others gave no thought to what a child would have to suffer once given life. With so much criticism of birth control today, it is one of our most important future safeguards if we want to avoid so much hunger, displacement and misery throughout the world.

If you don't complain, count on even more.

It used to be that at 6:30 pm on weekdays many Americans turned to one of the three networks to watch a half an hour of news, interrupted periodically by commercials. Now, at the same time, we watch a half an hour of commercials interrupted periodically by news. One of my main gripes is that Americans are so passive about being deluged with commercial messages, most of which are not necessary for the network's survival and are only there for reasons of greed. (Also, you will note, most of them are for rolling-in-money pharmaceutical companies hoping to make you paranoid enough to ask your doctor for that medicine you don't actually need.) Why are Americans so willing to be stooges for money-making networks? I don't know. But if more people don't start complaining, we'll all be seeing more and more and more
commercial breaks.

The fast track to fame.

Thanks to the lazy media it's quite easy to become famous in 2015. You don't have to swim the channel, make a medical breakthrough or marry a major movie star. You just have to be a raging idiot like Kim Davis. This incredibly common Kentuckian has nothing to recommend her—not brains, not education, and certainly not beauty. Yet there she is every day on the news channels wallowing in the warm mud of media attention.  Why? Because this evangelical bible-thumping bigot refuses to obey the law of the land. As a County Clerk of Rowan County, Kentucky, she refuses to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples because it's against her religion. This egotistical birdbrain is apparently convinced that her imaginary friend in the sky is so preoccupied with her insignificant life that if she lets two guys get married she'll be condemned to eternal hell fire. At least that's her story. Personally I think it's just an excuse for her raging homophobia and inborn stupidity. But, like I say, you don't have to have anything of value to offer these days to get more than your fifteen minutes of fame. Not when, in the immortal words of Sarah Palin, another complete cipher, the media is ready and willing to put "lipstick on a pig".

Rove has spoken.

This week President Obama was in Alaska for the official renaming of Mt. McKinley to Mount Denali.
Naturally Karl Rove, a constantly fuming volcano of vitriol and quivering fat, had to get in some kind of dig so that people wouldn't continue to think he had a heart attack while having sex with a rent boy. What he said about Obama's visit was pretty much what he says about everything, "oink".