The new face of heroism?

It comes as no surprise that Greg Abbot, the governor of the sickest state, Texas, is declaring February 2, Chrys Kyle Day in honor of the Navy sniper who managed to kill an estimated 160 men, woman, and likely children from hidden positions. This opens the floodgates to all kinds of new American events, giving every state (who doesn't have a serial killer) the opportunity to have similar holidays to Chris Kyle Day. Vermont could celebrate its famous native son with Ted Bundy Day. Massachusetts can have its celebration on September 3, Albert de Salvo Day. I'm sure that Clint Eastwood a man who seems devoted to glorifying mass murders would be delighted to officiate at many of these ceremonies.

The four horses' asses of the Apocalypse.

As much a boob as his brother.

Recent revelations about Jeb Bush include his use of marijuana in high school. Not surprising since the Bushes seem to be very much into drugs and alcohol and, in Neil's case, underage prostitutes. But more disturbing are reports from former schoolmates that Jeb Bush was a bully. In my book bullying is one of the most offensive acts and one of the clearest marks of basic character. The Bush boys have always felt a sense of entitlement—including the idea that they deserve to be president—but let's hope America has learned its lesson on what to expect from this low-brow family.

Is it just me, or has everything become either complicated or impossible. Yesterday I wanted to buy a parsons table at Staples. The clerk, a young man, led me to a computer on which I was supposed to fill out all the information on delivery. When I made a typo, he said we'd have to do it over again. I said "no" and left. Later I called the store to see if my filling out the form on a computer was de rigeur. The manager didn't speak English. She left me on-hold for some reason which wasn't clear. During the ten minutes I foolishly waited, three different people picked up the phone and said, "Staples, can I help you?"They couldn't and she never came back. Today I had to schedule a pickup from FedEx. I called their 800 number for advice, but the automatic voice could not process anything not programmed and could not connect me with a human being. I am at a loss how to get this package picked up. I remember the days before computers. You spoke with a person. Things happened.

The latest from the I'd SOONER be straight state

The State of Oklahoma, always on the forefront of progress, has introduced the Freedom to Obtain Conversion Therapy Act. This bill ensures that adults and children can undergo conversion therapy to cure their wicked choice of homosexuality without interference by the state. This act was introduced by Rep. Sally Kern (shown here before her own conversion) who has long believed that homosexuality is more dangerous than terrorism though she'll be damned if she can tell you why. While many believe that conversion is impossible the brilliant lawmakers of Oklahoma believe otherwise, and intend to follow up this pioneering legislation with laws that allow citizens to change the color of their skin and eyes without interference.

Gotcha!

To a non-sports fan like me, the only thing more annoying than the Super Bowl hype is the hoopla for all the damn commercials. They're commercials! They are costly productions designed to make you buy products. They were not designed to merely delight and amuse you.  They are manipulations, not works of art, not mini movies, not something you should be praising. Having been in advertising, I can appreciate how fortunate these hucksters are to have you kvelling over their latest promotions. But when I see the network news doing a report on the new Super Bowl commercials, and see a program listing showing you all these latest ads (a program interrupted by commercials)  all I can think is, "My god, Americans are gullible."

Press priorities.

Give me a break! Benedict Cumberbatch innocently misuses the word "colored" and he has to apologize to the world. But many news outlets, even television programs use the word "queer" which I,
as a gay man, and millions of others consider insulting and utterly inappropriate. Even some gay organizations have the gall to take it upon themselves to apply that word as synonymous with gay for whatever masochistic reasons they may have. Why the hell would any group want to be identified by an appellation that was used for decades to debase and attack them? They wouldn't. The N word is disgusting. The Q word is just as disgusting. And anyone who thinks it's appropriate is very much mistaken.

Pulling the wrong strings....again!

This is hilarious. The Koch brothers conservative network are still debating on whom to lavish any of their $889 million budget. They are still all fussyfused after the network's just-concluded donor conference in the California desert. In an informal straw poll—this is the hilarious part—Senator Marco Rubio came out ahead of four other would-be presidential candidates.   That the Kochs think that balloon-headed, pretend  "son of exiles" has a chance of winning it beyond delusional. But it gets better. The guy they had the least faith in is Rand Paul, the only politician that would have me worried at election time. This is great, they're about to back the losing horse. I guess they think he's the prettiest.

Simply Irresistible.

This is totally unlike any other musical number I've liked before, but I think it's fantastic. And if you haven't seen it, you should.

"I'm planning to run for Prezzzzzzz."

Even if Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker were smart, which he's not. Even if he had character, which he doesn't. Even if he could feel any kind of empathy with working people, which he can't; we still could never consider him for president. It has nothing to do with his stupidity, his narrow-mindedness, or his complete lack of humanity. It's more serious than that. American cannot have a president who always looks like he's about to fall asleep. How would it look at a world conference when all the other leaders are sharp and alert, and our president looks like a bloodhound after a hard day of chasing criminals? Imagine every magazine cover throughout the world with their cover photos of Somnolent Scott or America's Sleepy Walker. No, better the governor stay back home in Wisconsin where for some reason the Badgers reelected this droopy-lidded doofus.

Spreading the word.

Not only is Mormonism one of the most insane religions ever, but it's one of the most cowardly. It is a cornball sect that has rigid beliefs, which it will give up in a minute when it sees they're not working. At one time blacks were second-class citizens until the church saw that was not going to work much longer. That's when God must have said, "Ah, let them in." In the same way Mormons have been anti-gay for ages, trying to push all kinds of laws to punish these sinful sodomites. Now that they see America is becoming more accepting, they're backpedalling like crazy.  I have long been aware of the hypocrisy of Mormons. Over 72 years, I have heard many gay men brag about the "adventures" they had with those good-looking Mormon missionaries once they got off their bikes and out of their holy undies. I'll never understand why so many people buy all the malarkey that comes pouring out of Salt Lake City from a church with few credentials, a murderous past, and a history of crime and child abuse.

Protopic, but not pro people.

I recently got a case of contact dermatitis on the lids around my right eye. The dermatologist prescribed a medication call Protopic. Even with my new medicare plan, the cost was $25.00, which isn't much when you consider the medication—which comes in a tube slightly larger than the smallest Neosporin—costs $314.00. This leads me to all kinds of questions. First of all did the dermatologist know it cost that much, and could he have come up with something less costly? What would I have done if I didn't have Medica or $25.00? Why do I need a 30g size when I will probably only require a few dabs over a few days? But the big question is: Why does it cost so much? Does Astellas Pharma in Northbrook, Il. really need to charge that much for this tube of goop, or is just more greed run rampant? I have noticed that eye care is a major rip-off category. I have to take drops every day for glaucoma as do millions of aging people. But I have a good medical plan. Some senior citizens don't have any. Despite that they need that tiny and costly little bottle of drops every single day of every month to prevent blindness. And the greedy pharmaceuticals, like any other drug dealers, are right there with their incredibly high priced products. They can't say the cost is high because of low demand because millions use their medicine. And I doubt if years of costly research went into developing a treatment for glaucoma. So it's greed, pure and simple.

Joni's ballad.

I came riding into DC

With bread bags on my feet.

The GOP said, "Welcome

Come in a take a seat.

I said, "I rode from Iowa,

I hope I'm not too late.

And are there any hogs around

You need me to castrate."

They said "Thank you,little lady"

(I'm only four foot two)

"But there is a little favor

We need for your do.

We want you to rebut 

The President's address.

With those muddy bread bags

You're certain to impress."

So I gave my speech right after his

And they told me it was great.
"Only problem, Bread Bags,

Your facts were six years late."

Sarah, dumb and nasty.

Sarah Palin running for president? Sure,why not. Ridiculous? Of course. But no more so than the other clowns leaping out of the car already heavy with Chris Christie. Sarah says she has "a servant's heart" I doubt that servant is a maid from what we've heard of her housekeeping. Still if she wants to face still more ridicule in her already ridiculous career, invite her in. Apparently she doesn't realize that being put on the ticket by the senile John McCain was a fluke (she would say, "What's a fluke?). She must not have seen the movie dramatizing all her ditzy comments. She must not watch Real Time with Bill Maher where is constantly the butt of jokes (she would say, "Why the butt?). She says she wants to serve, but all she seems to have done since her disastrous run for office is serve her own egotistical needs. So let the lady (ummm) run. I doubt that she has gained any more insight or wisdom over the years, but I will hazard a guess we'll see more pounds, more wrinkles, and new pair of glasses.

What are companies thinking?

This week some creep in California used a copy of my Citibank credit card to charge some costly crap. Fortunately the bank called me, we isolated the false charges, and they said they would send me a new card right away. True to their word, they did. The only problem was in big letters on the sticker it said,"To activate..." and then gave a web address (is that what it's called). I hate doing anything on the computer other than writing, but having no choice I did. When I got the site, I saw there were about ten sites that sounded the same and I didn't know what to do. Why couldn't they just give me a phone number? I figured I would get more direction from the teeny, tiny type under the web address. But I couldn't read it, not even with my glasses. Thus began the hunt for my loupe or the magnifying glass I bought at Barnes & Noble. I spent a half an hour in search of both, and finally found the loupe, which I needed because this type was really small. I put it to my eye, pressed it against the card, and right under the large "To activate line..." were the opening words, "Or you can call..."

Where the lie was told.

This week I discovered yet again that there is a lie worse than, "The check is in the mail." Those telling this lie have been doing it for years. And sometimes even their customers pass on the lie. But it's never been true, will never be true, and I don't care how many people tell me I'm wrong, I say it's a lie. What is it? "One coat covers."

A platform of hate.

All right, I'm a Democrat. A dyed-in-the-wool Democrat as the cliche goes. But, come on, let's face it, the Republicans are mostly an evil, money-grubbing group of well-dressed thugs without pity, empathy, or any kind of humanity. I mean what creates a human turd like Steve King (R. Iowa) that makes him so eager to destroy the lives and happiness of undocumented immigrants? What does he care?  Why does someone like Romney need money, more money, and still more money and then look down on those who don't have any?  Why is Paul Ryan so eager to remove whatever benefits poor and middle class people need to get along? Why? Because they're all nuts! Not just mean, not just selfish—they're nuts. They're negative little trolls, gremlins if you will, giggling their way through one roadblock after another, clinging only to those who are wealthier than them and who go to their approved churches. The coming election isn't Democrat against Republican, it's a battle between those who care about the future and the mentally and morally ill GOP.

Since we can't kill all poachers, how about....

With so many despicable poachers killing elephants for their ivory, we are in danger of losing this gentle and family-oriented animal. One idea I had that may seem odd is this. What if scientists could create a permanent dye that would permeate the tusks without hurting the animal—a dye whose color is not the least bit attractive? This would make the tusks worthless to poachers, or if anyone did create an
item from the dyed ivory it would immediately be clear that it was obtained illegally.

Note: Surprisingly the World Wildlife Fund wrote and told me this idea has been presented many times, but implementing it would be too difficult and too costly. So I suggest we go back to killing all the poachers. How much can bullets cost?

Famous back-fence gossips.

There seems to very little question that Bill Cosby is guilty of the accusations all these women are making. But I don't understand why so many celebrities feel compelled to give their useless opinion on something that is matter between Cosby, the women, and any lawyers involved. Who cares what Jay Leno thinks, or any other public figure?  It's none of their business. Though I like Bill Maher, he seems particularly nasty and pleased about this ugly situation. Maybe because Cosby was so admired as a comic. Who knows? Both Judd Apatow and his wife had to get in their vindictive two cents. How nice that neither of them has any skeletons in their closet, or do they? What do I think? Who cares? My opinion has as much value as any one of these sanctimonious "who asked you?" celebrities.

Oh, if there were only a hell.

You gotta wonder what makes someone like Donald Wildmon, founder of the American Family Association tick. His non-profit organization promotes fundamentalist Christian values (basically hate for anyone not like him). This means that, unlike most Americans, Donald and his associates spend most of their time thinking about pornography, abortion, and men getting it on with each other. Their fetid little minds are filled with images of fellatio, sodomy, and all manner of sexual gymnastics which they are trying to expunge from society, thus rid from their own tortured minds. As you can see Donnie is no looker, which makes one wonder how much of his crusade is out of sheer jealousy. And considering the statistics, we know that at least some of his 192 employees and 175 volunteers are gay and trying to deal with their own erotic images. But you have got to give Donnie credit. While working his flabby little ass off to promote hate, he has encouraged dozens of leading American companies to come forward  in support of gay marriage and equal rights for all. Like the equally mental Billy Graham, Donald passed on all his hate to his son, Tim, who now runs this organization of anti-Christian teachings.

Both beauty and the beast.

There is no question that Megyn Kelly is the reigning propagandist at Fox News. She has beauty, she's very competent, and I suppose she has brains, despite how badly she uses them. In an interview she said she would have worked for MSNBC if she had been asked. Pity that she wasn't. Because I don't think you can move on from Fox. Despite its high ratings, it's still a joke among intelligent people and having credentials from Fox is like saying you were a very successful hooker.  Shoveling shit is a very dirty occupation, even if you do it in a designer dress. 

A test that can't fail.

Here's an experiment. Go to any supermarket in America. Walk up and down the aisles. Check out the customers. Then go up to the tallest, thinnest blond man and take him aside, explaining the experiment. The go up to any average looking dark haired guy, and give him the opportunity to participate. Finally go up the most attractive blonde woman. Try to choose someone who is a little ditzy, no doctors or lawyers. Then take these three people to a local studio where you have already rented a circular sofa, end tables and a lamp or two. Then have them discuss, on camera, whatever they have seen in the news in the past twenty-four hours. My guess is no matter who they are they will make far more intelligent observations than Fox and Friends.

Sitting on his hands.

You can see what's wrong with this country just by looking at one person's face during the State of the Union Speech.  The scowling, drunken, visage of John Boehner tells you all you need to know about Republican resistance, bitterness and spite. While Obama is making another great speech filled with hope and optimism, Boehner sits there glowering, his ruddy booze-riddled face reflecting his complete unwillingness ever to embrace patriotism and compromise. The idea that all the petty, infantile members of the GOP sit like children denied getting their way is so shameful you would think they would know they look like assholes and not like adults who govern our country. But you don't need to see all those angry faces. It's all written on one puffy, petulant, scowling countenance: John Boehner's.

All aboard for the Ted Cruz Express.

"MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. (AP) — Sen. Ted Cruz urged archconservatives on Sunday to help nominate a Republican from their own ranks in 2016 or risk losing a third consecutive national election. The unspoken message: someone like him."

Ted is so right. The Republicans should elect someone like him, a McCarthy-like right-winger, full of accusations, bitter, angry, too deceptive to use his real name, Rafael. The sure way to win the presidency in a country of Hispanics, African Americans, Asians, gays, and women, women, women is to elect a male chauvinist, deport-crazy, bible-thumping, soul-selling, execution-loving loose cannon.  He's correct: McCain and Romney were terrible choices. We won't even go into the Palin disaster. But there is one choice that could even be more of a train wreck: rattle snake, Rafael Cruz.

The victim of two Sharks.

I can't be the only one! I bought a Shark Navigator, a cordless vacuum cleaner. The first two times it worked liked charm. I maintained it exactly as they said. Then, like a recalcitrant spouse, it refused to pick up even the smallest pieces of paper no matter how many times I went back and forth. I called the company. They insisted that was odd, and allowed me to buy a second machine for only $35.00 (they should have given it to me). Lo and behold the new Navigator picked up everything, proudly displayed a chamber full of dust bunnies, string, paper, dirt. Obviously the first one was a dud. But wait. By the third use of this well-maintained machine, the same thing. It refuses to pick up anything. I just finished a messy product with lots of litter on the rug. The Shark refused to behave. Finally I had to consign it to the closet and take out the $12.00 Bissell carpet sweeper which picked up everything in a flash. Can I really be the only person in America who is having trouble with the Shark Navigator?

Just as repulsive under any name.

I wonder why so many Republican politicians don't use their given names. Are they still trying to cling to their college days when they all had nicknames for each other like Buzz, Scout, and Gipper? I mean I can understand Randal Paul being called Rand. And I can see why Mr. Jindal didn't want to be called Piyush, (still why choose such a juvenile appellation as Bobby?). But why is Rafael Cruz called Ted?  Is he ashamed of his Hispanic heritage? Does he think Ted sounds more American? And does Willard Romney assume the term for a baseball glove carries more weight than the name of a cinema rat. I can't imagine why Mr. Perry thinks Rick is better than his Christian name James, or why John Bush wants to be called Jeb. Oh, well, who understands anything these guys do.

Taint possibile Rick, just taint.

The comedy continues as Rick Perry gallops into the arena and announces he will make a presidential bid. Yes, this is the same Rick Perry who during his last bid for the world's most powerful office tried to name the three federal agencies he would like to eliminate if elected. You will recall he could only name two and then couldn't even remember what he was talking about. Wouldn't we all feel safer in our beds at night with a president like that? The only person stupider than Rick Perry in the upcoming race would be anyone dumb enough to support him. But then, of course, there was someone even dumber, and he was elected twice.

Bum rap.

Here's a major contemporary hypocrisy. TV commentator Greg Anthony has been suspended indefinitely by CBS following his arrest for soliciting a prostitute.  Are we supposed to believe that prostitution is illegal?  Then why can you pick up any weekly rag in any major city and see dozens of ads for "escorts" showing beautiful young woman scantily dressed with provocative expressions? These are ads for prostitutes and they appear week after week after week with no suppression. I don't know anything about Greg Anthony, but he sure as hell shouldn't lose his job for trying to buy a product that is advertised with impunity almost everywhere you go.

Xfinity's home security commercials, like all Xfinity commercials are not very good, but their latest are particularly creepy. I assume this repulsive knight in his long-johns and armor is some kind of dig at Knight Security, but my friends tell me Xfinity isn't smart enough for that. I also don't understand why the knight is still around if the homeowners have already switched. But why am I looking for logic from an advertiser that always does weak and brainless commercials?

Never judge a book by its cover.

I think one of the most corrupt, lying, and shameless industries today is publishing. As a person who has made his living writing and whose brother was a successful author, I realize that writing a book is very hard. I could not write a book. I would not know where to begin; would have trouble with transitions; not know when to end a sentence, or a paragraph or a chapter. Yet supposedly many famous people today have written books—many best sellers. I say bullshit. One can assume that Sarah Palin, who cannot form a sentence did not write the books for which she is credited. George W. Bush could certainly not write a book. But I think the same applies to somewhat brighter celebs like Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney, Ben Carson, Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, and most politicians. One would have to assume there is an army of facile authors out there willing to forego the glory of authorship so some politician can appear to be far more intellectual than he or she is. But it is not only in the arena of politics that the publishing industry uses deception to foist off ghost-written books. I know that Margaret Truman did not write all those D.C. mysteries. Most movie stars did not write their autobiographies. And I would guess that even popular true crime writers have kept up with the demand for their books with the help of "assistants". Why is this bad?  Because most people are so naive and so unknowing they buy a book believing it was written by the person whose name is on the cover. I don't think, for instance, that Bogart, In Search of My Father would have sold nearly as many copies if credit was given to the actual author, Gary Provost. Fortunately for the credit-happy Bogarts, including Lauren, Gary died in 1995 at the time of publication. The publishers were only too happy to leave his name off the cover.

When 'tis folly to be wise.

                     I don't know why it is so dangerous in political circles to admit that you're an atheist. Frankly I would feel much better if America had a president who didn't believe in magical thinking, wasn't certain that Noah rounded up two of every animal in the world, and didn't believe that some unseen supreme beings' opinion mattered more than his.  I would be more comfortable with someone who was working his ass off for peace and not praying for it on Sunday morning. Of course we'll never really know which of our presidents were atheists since they would never admit it. But I have to assume that a man with that much  intelligence (not counting George W) and power would have to be realistic enough to question anything as flimsy and unproven as religious lore. I'll bet Lyndon was an atheist, even if he was from Texas.      

Do you still have your stethoscope?

I think Ben Carson is delusional to think he has a chance at being elected president. This tea party zealot from Iowa who just made a major apology for plagiarism is wasting his time and all his supporters' money by even putting his toe in the water. And even if he did have chance and miraculously became president, does he think the GOP would be any less racist to a black just because he's a Republican? Eh, why even speculate on such an unlikely possibility. I say go back to practicing medicine, Benny. You were a great doctor. And you will never be president.

I have a proposal to make.

I think it's wonderful that Michael Sam is engaged to his longtime boyfriend Vito Cammissano. I think it's great that a famous celebrity like Neil Patrick Harris can be married to the person he loves. I think it's fantastic that same sex couples can now get married in so many states and more are joining every day. What I don't think is great are gay couples imitating all the traditions of straight couples. Dropping to the knee to propose. Standard wedding vows. Imitations of straight weddings. Something old, something new, etc. And I really detest the term "husband". As someone who has been with his partner for 46 years I would never consider any of these charades. I propose that gay couples create their own traditions, not just blithely adapt to the ceremonies and customs they've been seeing all their shut-out lives. Do I have any suggestions? Not yet. But knowing how opinionated I am, there are likely to be some in the future. Just let's not be copycats. Anyway, that's how I feel and if my partner and I ever do get married it won't be in a church and there won't be a cake (though I am rather fond of eclairs) and neither one of us will ever consider ourselves that cringe-worthy term "husband".  What's wrong with "partner"?

Who first said, "Get a life"?

As a person with absolutely zero interest in sports, I cannot understand the enthusiasm for fans rooting for highly paid players who mostly come from other cities, paying outrageous prices for their seats, and getting elated or depressed depending on whether their team won. But what I really don't get are fans being so involved in the outcome of a game, and having such meaningless lives of their own, that they will dress in clothing promoting these wealthy strangers and go so far as to paint their faces and put imitation wedges of cheese on their heads to show their devotion. It's a game, get it? a game.

Two heavenly scams.

Here's a news story I find completely mystifying. A bestselling Christian book that clams to detail a boy's trip to heaven and his return to Earth is being pulled from stores after one of its co-authors admitted it was all a lie. Duh. Ironically the authors of the 2010 "memoir" Boy Who Came Back From Heaven were named Malarkey: Kevin, a Christian therapist in Ohio and his son Alex. The part I don't understand is how is this lie any different than the crock created by the family Burpo with Heaven is for Real. The Burpo grifters have sold millions of copies and even had a movie made. Both families of so-called Christians are despicable for being liars and frauds, but at least the Malarkey's had more of an excuse since Alex was left a paraplegic from the accident that supposedly inspired the book. Therapy is very costly. The Burpos on the other hand were only inspired by greed. Sadly the gullible Christian community, desperate for any possibility for an after-life has made both fictions best sellers.

One hotel I will never check into.

The reviews could be great. All my friends could rave about it. It could win kudos as the funniest film of the year. I still wouldn't go to see The Grand Budapest Hotel. Why? They killed a cat in it. In my book any film that uses the death of an animal for humor is off my list forever. In rare cases an animal's death is significant to the story—very rare cases. In the very first episode of the sitcom Yes, Dear, I thought the writing was funny, the actors were talented, the lead especially so. But they killed a cat for comedy, and I never watched another episode. Neurotic? Overly sensitive? Maybe. But I wish more people were bothered when filmmakers think the death of an innocent animal is a hilarious piece of comedy.

Separated at birth?

The top photo is popular movie star Juliette Lewis. Below is talented actress Gina Mastrogiacomo who many may remember from the Seinfeld episode The Wig Master in which she played a hooker in the parking lot where George and Kramer parked their cars. These two look so much alike, I lost a bet insisting that it was Juliette Lewis on the Seinfeld episode.

While I worked for decades on Carnival Cruise Lines, I was always told that Royal Caribbean offered better vacations. Then why do they always have such tacky commercials. "Vow to Wow"?  Give me a break. That's about as bad a campaign as I've seen, although not nearly as weak as their campaign "The Nation of Why Not" from several years ago. What could be easier to promote than an all-inclusive cruise vacation? It's fun. It's a great bargain. And you have nothing but visuals of a beautiful ships and glamorous tropical islands. Yet most cruise commercials suck. And there's no excuse for it.

The new Sarah Palin

Jodi Ernst is the butch pint-sized bitch who is going to give the Republican response to the State of the Union address. This helmet-haired harridan may look like any mannish Disney-world housewife, but I suspect she's lethal. Ernst has already proposed eliminating the IRS, the Department of Education, and the Environmental Protection Agency. She has an "A" rating from the National Rifle Association, and thinks law-abiding citizens should freely carry firearms. This military-loving, pistol-packing mama has served 21 years between the Army Reserve and the National Guard and has spent 24 months in Kuwait as a company commander during Operation Iraqi Freedom. One of her most frequent boasts is that she is expert at castrating hogs. If you need any more proof that she is a dangerous right-winger who will wreak havoc keep in mind that she's the present darling of the GOP. Yikes.

Sentenced to the chair.

At 72, I have found I feel much more confident when I have my grey hair colored. But I also realize it's not that easy with the high degree of incompetency that exists today. This morning I went to a costly and elegant salon. I told them the color I wanted to cover my grey hair and they nodded knowingly. They provided magazines and espresso. The stylist mixed the formula, applied it to my hair and told me I needed to wait 45 minute. Boring, but not intolerable. What was intolerable was after being shampooed, I could see the color was no different. I was just as grey, though the stylist and owner tried to convince me otherwise. I didn't pay. I next went to a nearby Super Cuts. The manager nodded thoughtful as I described what I wanted. But I soon realized she didn't speak a word of English and had no idea what I was saying. Strike two. The third stop was more promising. Your basic old-fashioned beauty salon. The price was right. They seemed knowledgeable. They offered magazines and chocolates. But it seemed like I spent hours being colored, waiting, recolored, waiting, shampooed, waiting. The final color was very satisfactory.  But my neck, ears, and forehead are very stained. I think I had better give in to my grey-haired years as I don't think I want to go through another day like this.

Another dodo heard from.

It seems that Mitt Romney has an adviser that's nearly as delusional as Willard himself. The moron referred to on January 13, Richard Williamson. Among his latest crackpot comments is that if Romney had become president there wouldn't be an Isis and Putin would know his place.  Of course he doesn't say why that would be because he's too busy trying to blame Obama for all the ills of the world. He obviously has forgotten  that George W. Bush and his girlfriend Dick Cheney put on their bonnets one day and skipped into the sunshine to sow the seeds of war and destruction and were rewarded with an bountiful crop of world miseries. Like most Republicans Weber refers to the death of an American ambassador in a manner that suggests that Obama himself was the killer. We treat these people and these accusations as if they are merely straws in the wind. But people like Richard Williamson are dangerous propagandists and should be regarded as such.

There are so many detestable things about Comcast, but one of the worst is that if they are doing something wrong, they try to make you think it's a problem at your end. Recently I have had trouble connecting. I cannot hook up with the Internet. I try later, and it's no problem. Several friends have told me they have the same problem several times a week, and that they have to unplug their equipment then reconnect it. All users of Comcast. Draw your own conclusions.

H as in hooey.

While this hooey applies to the Huffington Post with whom I have a love/hate relationship, it could also apply to other lazy mediums. One is that Jon Stewart and others are vilifying President Obama because he didn't go to the rally in Paris. Since he's the president and all these whiners are not, he just may know something they don't. But being so all-knowing it never occurs to them that Obama could have a good reason for not attending. Two, yet another article about the Westboro Baptist Church. This time how Christian rock singer Vicky Beeching sure showed them a thing or two. But since them is a small congregation of bigoted inbred morons, one wonders why the lazy news media give them so much welcome attention and recognition.  Three. HuffPost is all hot and bothered because Miley Cyrus, true to form, engaged in a "plethora of racy activities". Who are these writers at Huff that are so backward sexually that they are constantly salivating over stories of any female celebrity even mildly unclad?  All too often, HP appears far more prurient than relevant.  And finally, and funniest of all, Mitt Romney says he wants to make tackling poverty "a key issue" for his 2016 campaign. He might as well have a poster that says, "I PLAN TO PANDER" since any attempt to reach the people he despises can only be seen as pathetically insincere. I will guess that during the campaign, he won't show up at any banquets for the wealthy without vetting all the serving staff.

Another racist from Texas.

It's seems that ultra-conservative and uber-moron Rep. Randy Weber compared President Obama to Adolf Hitler for not traveling to Paris on Sunday. In one of the most ignorant tweets of our time, he
wrote, "Even Adolph Hitler thought it more important than Obama to get to Paris." Forget the fact that this moron misspelled Adolf, but is he so bloody ignorant that he thinks Hitler went to Paris to attend the Folies Bergere? But he is only the latest member of the GOP to vomit out this totally illogical comparison. When are these history-challenged right wingers going to realize that nobody but nobody should be compared to Hitler, least of all an intelligent peace-loving president? Are they not aware that Hitler was a cruel and hateful dictator who was responsible for the deaths of millions, a villain unequalled in our time? No, of course not. Because Republicans are so petty, so racist, and so small-minded they leap for any vicious insult whether it's applicable or not. The GOP seems to be very slow to learn any lessons in etiquette, diplomacy, or truth. But one thing they must get over, one of their most childish, spiteful, and vindictive habits is comparing anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone to Adolph Hitler.  Randy Weber, you are an racist and an asshole.

Try it.

Lots of people seem to get annoyed at me when I tell them how much I hate Saturday Night Live. Far from being brilliant sketch comedy, it think SNL is weak, witless and dumb. The bits are obvious, the impressions are generally weak (yes, except for Tina Fey as Sarah Palin) and the writing sucks because all too often they try to satire something that is already satirical.  But I think I know why so many people think it's funny. Because they haven't been exposed to better. So if you're a fan of SNL, and I don't know why you would be, I suggest you go to your computer and watch some of The Big Train, The Sketch Show, or French & Saunders, all hilarious British series with comedians far more talented and versatile than those on SNL who do the weak impressions of the week's news. Then you can tell me (not that anyone ever writes to me) that you think SNL is equal to those shows. I won't agree, but you can tell me.

Note: When I posted this it had a complete Sketch Show on, then it didn't, then it did. So if it's not there you may have to look it up on the Internet.

Separated at birth?

These two beautiful women are Juliette Binoche

and Georgia Flood. Georgia is the star of the 

Australian Television mini-series Anzac Girls, which

I consider a "do not miss" for anyone who loves

stories of courage, heroism, tenacity, loyalty, romance and

the total idiocy of war. 

Freedom of choice. Roku.

Today I'm promoting a product. A product that costs very little and has improved my life greatly. Let me whine first. Night after night I flipped through the channels and could find nothing worth watching. Not on network channels (which are mostly commercials)  not on cable channels (which are mostly commercials) and not on premium channels, which are mostly reruns, movies that suck, and commercials for their reruns and movies that suck. Then someone recommended that I install a Roku, or rather that they install it for me since I am completely Luddite. The device cost me about $60.00. They put it in and signed me up for two of the providers: Netflix and Acorn. That was a month ago, and I have never used the Netflix because Acorn ($4 a month) has everything I want. And if you never heard of it you are missing some great commercial-free TV. Anzac Girls is a brilliant 6-part Australian series about nurses in World War I. A Place to Call Home is another superb Aussie series that outdoes even The Thorn Birds.  Midsommer Murders, Inspector Lewis, Cracker, Murder in Suburbia, Accused, Foyle's War and Murder Investigation Team are all British crime series that are far better than any of the crap on American tv. This week I plan to call Comcast and cancel all my premium channels, which I never watch. Truly, if you have wi-fi (a necessity) and an appreciation for quality television (also a necessity) I highly recommend you install Roku, which is available at Target, Wal-Mart and lots of other retailers. Enjoy.

Note: While this internet image is fuzzy, I have also found the picture on Roku to be clearer and brighter and the sound to be superior. Why? I have no idea.

Surprise, creep, you're not home free.

Delighted to hear that anti-torture protesters, many in orange jump suits, marched by Dick Cheney's house to protest his false imprisonments at Guantanamo Bay. It's about time someone protested this evil, lying, warmonger. Special praise goes to two protesters who would not leave and were arrested: Tigh Barry, 57, and Eve Tetaz, 83, both of Washington, D.C.  It's depressing to even realize that Cheney lives in a comfortable house 14 years after the opening of Guantanamo Bay Prison. He should be doing time himself for war crimes suffering with the weak, cold, heart he was born with and not the one he appropriated from a more deserving patient. How do I know the person was deserving? Because anyone is more deserving than this monster.

Let George do it. Prison time that is.

Here we have an arrogant thug who should be serving decades in prison for the cold-blooded murder of an innocent teenager. But fortunately we was pronounced not guilty by a moronic jury. Now you would think having dodged such a major bullet, he might decide to lead a lawful life. But, no, being a complete loser this jerk has gotten into one scrape after another, the latest being for aggravated assault after throwing a wine bottle at his girlfriend. One of these days he'll commit a crime that puts him behind bars for years and we can all breathe a sigh of relief and say, "It's about time."

Keep smiling, Willard.

You will note from this outfit that 68-year-old Mitt Romney thinks he's still a young man. He also thinks he has a shot at the presidency. He also thinks that he's achieved all his inherited wealth on his own. He also thinks it's fun to fire people. And, of course, he thinks corporations are people. He also thinks it's  good idea to wear holy underwear because it reminds him of the covenant he made with god, which he might forget about without those sacred skivvies. And, of course, he thinks all the other cockamamie tenets of the screwball Mormon church are factual. But probably the dumbest thing he thinks and has ever thought is that he is smarter than Barack Obama. Rich racists are so amusing.

An American nightmare.

I am utterly opposed to putting another Bush into office. I think the entire family is wealthy white trash, George being the most despicable. Not only in the family, but in the world. Now Jeb's chances are weakened because as Republican nominee for Governor of Florida in 1994, he supported a bill known as the "Spankers Bill of Rights". This bill allowed parents to spank (read abuse) their children as long as they didn't leave welts (read evidence). I'm sure that Jebbie's closet is filled with lots of other equally detestable skeletons along with items his wife may have shoplifted. The only contest I would like to see Jeb in is a pie-eating contest with Chris Christie.

I have to tell you how much I detest Comcast before I lose my service again. Not only does it take forever to reach them, but when you do you cannot depend on someone speaking in a language that you can totally understand. Their new ploy is to act dramatically sympathetic to your needs, intensely interested in solving your problem, which they generally can't. I have been without service for four days. Suddenly it's back, but for how long? Did I mention that what I hate most in the modern world other than  Comcast is passwords? You can't write a letter to a company today without having to sign in. When did everyone become so paranoid?

This cartoon by a street artist named Banksy was on the Internet today. Actually there was also a full pencil captioned with "Yesterday" but I think the cartoon as shown here makes a very strong statement.

Enough already.

I have never seen so much hype surrounding an ordinary song as the amount of promotion for "Let It Go". This typical Disney song from the movie Frozen has been promoted beyond all endurance. ABC News, a Disney relative, has constantly tried to find any possible story with any possible connection to this song. News items have been invented to promote this average tune sung by Idina Menzel, whom I find strident. I think Disney is out to suggest that this lightweight tune is the most beloved song since "Danny Boy". Most people are getting tired of the song. I'm getting tired of the fake publicity. Maybe it's because I wrote a song called, "Let It Go" twenty years ago, which I submitted to Disney as part of my rejected screenplay.  Oh, well. Sometimes we just have to let things go.