AN INSTANT COLLECTIBLE?

I'm always fascinated when major corporations make really stupid mistakes. The latest is Old Navy. For some reason they thought that a great fashion item for female tots was the tee shirt above. Some wit thought it would very clever to change the word "artist" to "astronaut" or "president". Why? To be an artist is an admirable achievement. This shirt suggests it isn't. I can't think of any profession Old Navy could use that wouldn't insult someone: Housewife? Secretary? Teacher? It's a bad idea all around. Anyway, parents have expressed their outrage. Old Navy is abashed. And the item is being removed or never sent to their stores.

Note: I would have written YOUNG ASPIRING and let the parents fill in whatever they wanted with a Sharpie.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TOAST.

For most of my life toast was bread that was, well, toasted. It was generally white bread that was put in a toaster until it was golden brown. No matter where you went that was what you could expect when you asked for toast. Not any more. For some reason toasted toast is no longer available. More often than not the bread you have with your breakfast out looks like it was toasted with a hair dryer. This seems to be the standard today and I can't imagine why. It's true with bread and true with bagels. At Starbucks and Panera and elsewhere I have to request for a bagel to be triple-toasted to even make it acceptable. Is this under toasting to save time? save electricity? save money? Who knows? But it's another example of Americans being like sheep. They generally accept everything they are handed without question or complaint. I say this assuming that most people would rather have nice crispy toast than semi-warm bread. Now that I've got that out of my system, what's with these restaurants who give you one or two pats of butter for a stack of pancakes?

Look at the photo above. That's typical of restaurants today. Toast with hardly any color change at all, and two small dollops of butter for six pieces of "toast" and three pancakes. 

ANOTHER CASE OF THE D.T.s

I see where Donald Trump has dragged out the Monica Lewinsky incident as an illogical attack on Hillary Clinton. Frankly I don't see how Clinton's peccadillo (which was nobody's business as far as I'm concerned) reflects badly on her. She and Bill were married in 1975. And they're still together after 41 years. I think that speaks volumes about Hillary's loyalty, patience and forgiveness--all virtues.  Fickle Donald, on the other hand, has been married three times.  It seems that when Donald got horny, he cheats on his present wife (with not one but several women) then gets a divorce, marries the latest infatuation and eventually dumps her. Not surprised Monica was infatuated with Bill Clinton; he's a handsome guy with tons of charisma. Donald Trump's appeal on other hand is more than likely the vast fortune he always brags about.

"What, me worry?"

When is Jeb!!!!!!Bush going to accept that fact that he does not have a shot at being president? When is he going to realize that his goofy, ex-alcoholic, inside trader, Malaprop-spouting, mass murderer, war criminal brother has ruined any chance he has at such a high office? The Bush name is an anathema to political discourse. Jeb may be the smarter brother but he is not smart enough, not dynamic enough, not appealing enough. In another futile attempt to appear macho he says he'd like to square off with Donald Trump on a one-on-one debate. I assume he feels he will have better arguments that Mr. Trump. But the loud-mouthed, much divorced, boastful boor Donald is way ahead in the polls despite his lack of humanity, intelligence, logic, and class. Which means that Jeb! has nothing to fight him with but useless reality stated in his non-stentorian voice with his constant look of wounded befuddlement which does him no good at all.

I hate euphemisms. They may make people feel better about something unpleasant, but they hide the truth, which is always a bad idea. A soldier isn't "fallen", he's dead. Your son isn't "experimenting with drugs" he's taking them. He's a user, not a scientist.

NUN SEQUITUR

What a moronic commercial. The message, if there is one, is not very clear. It isn't funny. It isn't trenchant. And despite being an atheist, I find it very offensive when ad agencies use religious figures for that they think will be a funny spot, which this isn't. Why would a nun need contact lenses? According to these morons because her glasses don't go with anything. (Though the actress does not state the line very clearly.)By even suggesting that she is guided by vanity, they are insulting her calling.

VICTIM OF MURDER

What is going on? A patrolman drives up to a suspected crime scene, emerges from his police cruiser and within two seconds shoots 12-year-old, Tamir Rice to death. No questions, no evaluating the scene, no attempt at wounding the child, not a second wasted in questioning whether the gun was real or the child had mental problems. No. Get out of the car. Point your gun at this child and kill him.  Now nearly 400 days later an Ohio grand jury has declined to indict either the shooter, rookie patrolman Timothy Loehmann,  or veteran officer Frank Garmback. Both officers claim they repeatedly yelled at Tamir to "show me your hands" but surveillance video shows that to be a complete lie. This is murder. This is cold-blooded murder. This is murder without hesitation. The members of that grand jury should
be absolutely ashamed of themselves. This is a horrible crime that keeps happening more and more.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the man who many Americans are hoping will be the next president of the United States. 

More double-talk from Maw Mouth.

Rafael Cruz, who is always repulsive, was particularly so this week. He released one of his campaign commercials in which he is sitting on a sofa with his wife and two daughters. He has somehow managed to get these politically ignorant children to make comments detrimental to Hillary Clinton. (Did you expect he would do an honest commercial about what he can offer?) Then when some cartoonist drew a photo of Cruz with two little monkeys on a leash, he got all morally outraged and suddenly the monkeys turned back into innocent children. This man is so stupid he doesn't see the hypocrisy of this action. Sorry, Rafael, but if you choose to put your two daughters in a tv commercial and use them as puppets to repeat what you have fed them, then children—at least your children— are not off limits. Grind on.

The Year of the Nobody.

Wouldn't it be great if next year, we didn't have to constantly hear about the Jenners and the Kardashians. Imagine if the news media starting reporting about people who actually contributed something to society, had something to say, boasted an actual talent. How nice not to get constant reportage on a Kardashian famous for her enormous ass, or a Jenner famous for being an enormous ass. But maybe that's too much to ask for in our shallow society where Donald—God help us—Trump may become president; movies are not judged by how good they are, but by box office; and best selling books are trash like The Hunger Games and 50 Shades of Gray (or is it Grey? Who cares?). No, as long as we have a lazy media we can expect to see shallow news stories in 2016 about the same insignificant ciphers who we were already tired of in 2015. (Sigh.)

X marks the spot.

I always wondered why policemen, who have had a lot of  target practice, always shoot to kill--even for a crime as minor as shoplifting. After all if you shoot someone in the leg, they become immobile. If you've had enough target practice, you should be able to hit someone in the arm and make them drop that knife, or even shoot the knife right out of their hand like Shane. But that isn't what happens. Time after time we hear about a cop shooting someone in the heart after being threatened with a ballpoint pen or a piece of wood. Now I think I know why. It must be because at most target ranges the target looks like the one above. The goal is to hit the figure right in the middle. This target doesn't even have legs for anyone to practice on shooting.  Maybe if we started insisting on more full-figure targets, the lives of more minor criminals or the mentally ill might be saved.

Please don't offer me your seat.

The worst thing to happen to senior citizens is well-meaning people. Even at 73, I like to think I still appear, if not young, then healthy and robust. So, it is very depressing when someone on the subway offers me their seat. With that kind gesture they have spoiled any illusions I have that I do not look elderly. Frankly, I would rather stand for a half-an-hour than accept the seat that I really don't need in the first place. Just remember with many senior citizens ego is more important than comfort or even senior-discount savings. So before you play the considerate and polite role, ask yourself, "Does this person really want to be offered a seat in front of all these strangers?" In my case the answer would always be "no". I recall the mirror of aging was first held up to me ten years ago by a cafeteria cashier who offered me their "golden-age discount". I knew then and there the rest of my life would include one of the worst curses of old age—next to wrinkles, grey hair, arthritis, and endless maladies—well-meaning people!

You can't have both of them.

For a long time I have watched ABC World News for many reasons, especially their Made in America segments. But lately I find it increasingly difficult to endure. While I like David Muir, I find his sloppy diction annoying as hell, and can't imagine why the network doesn't speak to him about it. Also annoying is the transparent attempts at beefcake reporting (do all the male reporters really need to wear tight jeans?).  But most offensive is the constant promotion of Disney-released films, like Star Wars, disguised as news. ABC has enough commercials without making the news itself a promotion for the network owners. While I feel guilty about ditching ABC, I must say that the CBS Evening News offers much better coverage and superior diction.

A major cause of high blood pressure.

I have just spent 45 minutes trying to contact Comcast. They have the most annoying, ineffective, and long-winded automatic phone service in the world. And the most incompetent. I was disconnected twice, kept waiting fifteen minutes the third time, and never did get through. How does such an ineffective company continue to survive. I am sure that now that I am ready to disconnect service, they will make it impossible for me to ever reach them to achieve that desired goal. After recovering my composure, which wasn't easy, I tried again. This time I reached a girl in the Philippines When I asked to speak to someone in America, she said it wasn't possible. Now I see the problem. Comcast, like so many traitorous,  unAmerican companies is too f-ing cheap to provide service for its customers: ergo a lousy automated phone system and "technicians" in the Philippines, mostly women who get paid less.
Also every time I turn on my computer, it asks me to "enable my cookies". How to I get rid of that ever-returning message?

Note: There are many visuals on the Internet that attack Comcast, and rightly so. But this one is totally inaccurate. I don't doubt that their phone staff are this callous, I just doubt that they are this white-shirt American. 

Art

Recently when I went to The Boston Museum of Fine Arts, I was astonished by the exhibition of Vermeer, Rembrandt and other Dutch Masters. I thought these artists must have been aliens to have created such brilliant paintings and achieve the appearance of silk, wool, metal, flesh, hair and every other texture with only the use of oil paint. Every room in the exhibition held a generous collection of magnificent masterpieces. Later I visited the Contemporary Art galleries, and rather than being intimidated, I like many naive Americans, thought,"I could do that" on seeing large canvases using primary colors. Just give me the oils and some painter's tape, I reasoned and it would be easy.  But of course many other exhibits were highly imaginative, intricate and brilliant.  Still I decided that the most annoying thing about a great deal of contemporary art is its size. So many of these "creations" demand an greedy amount of space. (I once saw an exhibit with thousands of coat hangers. I always wondered how they would move that particular artwork.) With so many modern pieces taking up entire walls and, in many cases, entire rooms to themselves, one wonders what other works are crowded out to accommodate them.

Note: Not all these exhibits are in Boston. I think I would have remembered the lady in the bed

The missing ingredient.

During my recent trip to Boston, I stopped in at the Five Guys burger outlet on Huntington Avenue and ordered a chocolate shake. I must tell you that this was one of the best shakes I've ever had. Truly it was so thick, you couldn't drink it with a straw; you needed a spoon. Only problem was that Five Guys don't (doesn't?) have spoons. At first I thought the server meant that they had run out. But no. She told me they just don't have spoons. I find this very curious. Why would a restaurant that serves thick shakes not provide its customers with a means to consume them?  They had forks and knives and every imaginable condiment. Hmmm. No matter. I went next door and stole a spoon for Starbucks.

16,000 Frenchmen (and women) can't be wrong.

In Germany on June 26, 1963, when U.S. President John F. Kennedy said "Ich bin ein Berliner" it was a great moment in history. Unfortunately similar statements since then have become maudlin cliches. As much as I admire Bono, I found it cringe worthy when, during a concert in the City of Light, weeks after the Bataclan massacre of November 14th, he said "If you love Liberty, then Paris is your home town." This comment received a roar of approval from the 16,000 fans in attendance. However, at the risk of arousing your scorn, my reaction was, "Gag me with la cuillere". 

The nut doesn't fall far from the tree.

Jerry Falwell, Jr. the heir to his father's insanity, is proving every bit as mad as the old man. After the tragic slaughter in San Bernadino, this religious charlatan, opined that he thinks Liberty University students should carry guns. Isn't that just what we need?  Can you think of anything more dangerous than a university filled with sexually repressed, highly judgemental, immature religious fanatics carrying weapons? Atheists and Muslims beware!

Double talker

It's not that I hate Republicans. Its just that they're mostly detestable, duplicitous, double-dealing, dastardly, dirty-fighting, do-nothings. Take for instance Representative Dan Donovan from New York. On a recent interview about the tragedy in San Bernadino, this dummy kept saying that "we are all in this together" with a sense of sincere bipartisanship while he was alternately taking nasty jabs at President Obama. Pity we have so many dirty politicians like this despicable douche bag.

Shame on you.

Not only have network news persons lost the ability to enunciate (mostly t's) leaving us with such terms as the innanet, innastate highways,the Atlannic ocean,and tenacles, but they don't even appreciate the meaning of  words. On a recent trip to Boston, I was surprised to hear a newscaster exclaim that the weather was so "frigging cold". Obviously this dummy did not know that frigging is a synonym for the a more popular "f" word and also a term for female masturbation.

"Ah! The fresh taste of Lake Erie."

If you think Americans aren't gullible, check out the sales of bottled water. Not only do "health conscious" consumers readily spend $1 to $3  per single serving sizes of "pure" water that probably comes from a tap in Cleveland, but they thoughtlessly toss away millions of plastic bottles that pollute the environment.  (Not to mention the irritating noise those bottles make when they are in use.) Unless you live in Flint, Michigan, where the idiotic government switched water supplies and cursed the population with a smelly, irritating, lead-rich water supply, buying bottled water is just a waste of money.

A witch in the White House?

Republican harridan Carly Fiorina, ever attuned to conspiracies, has overreacted again. After the November mass shooting at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs in which three people were killed and nine were injured, a few liberal pundits suggested that this tragedy was the result of anti-abortion right-wing hate rhetoric (which it probably was).  Carly, more concerned with this criticism than the actual slaughter,  ranted "This is typical left wing tactics". And this pathetic paranoid Pandora wants to be our president.

Scary times.

Most people get cancer at three in the morning and are cured by 9 a.m.

A city without seasons.

I neglected to mention to my few loyal readers that I was going away for vacation. And being a Luddite, I have no idea how to access my blog away from home. Anyway I'm back, and I have lots of things to praise and complain about, which I will start doing later today. I went up to Boston this past spring hoping to experience warm weather and the the joy of renewal. It was cold and rainy every day. This month I went on my usual trip to experience bracing cold temperatures during the Christmas season, and hopefully snow. It was unseasonably warm every day and there wasn't even rain. Yes, Virginia, there is climate warming.

"Does anybody have a dictionary?"

A friend, on her blog, pointed out that Marco Rubio doesn't know the difference between less and fewer. I would suggest that he's ignorant in many areas of the English language. In a recent 60-second Rubio promotion, the bubble-headed senator in glorifying his father, said,  "So my father stood behind a small portable bar in the back of a room for all those years, so that I could stand behind this podium in front of this room and this nation. That journey from behind that bar to behind this podium, that's the essence of the American dream." Sorry, Marco, you cannot stand behind a podium. You stand on a podium and behind a lectern. True, using the word podium instead of the correct word lectern is a common mistake and since you are so common, I'm not surprised.

UNWANTED PORNOGRAPHY

In order to illustrate this blog, I take images from Bing. Up till now it has worked fine. But now, no matter what visual I request, it includes many, many, many pornographic images. Why? I just typed in "Dramatic shots of man on stage" and along with a smattering of photos of men on stage was an array of pornographic shots both straight and gay, some erotic, most repulsive, having very little to do with a stage. I'm not opposed to pornography, but shouldn't it be something you requested?

Note: The visual above is just one of the less obscene, but equally creepy, offerings included when I
requested "Dramatic shots of man on stage." Yuck.

A money-making invention.

It's depressing to find out that someone we sort of like turns out to be a greedy little shit, or at least his family does. It seems that Ahmed Mohamed, that Muslim-American teenager who was arrested after bringing a homemade clock to school, is suing the city and school district. It seems that his family feels that the minor discomfort he suffered (when authorities who thought the device which did look like a bomb looked like a bomb) is worth $15 million in damages. It's a pity that somebody always wants to profit from any kind of misuse of authority, no matter how minor. Hopefully the judge will see this for what it is, and accept that the though the teacher overreacted, she still erred on the side of safety in a world where, yes, a child might bring a bomb to school disguised as a clock. Ahmed's parents are, with this opportunistic suit,
setting a terrible example for Ahmed.

Death of a friend.

As a fan of true crime I often watch programs like Forensic Files. It is surprising how many of their true cases involve a spouse, usually a husband, slowly poisoning his wife or business partner with arsenic. More often than not the doctors and hospital cannot understand the patient's deterioration until they conduct special searches for arsenic which they don't often do. Usually they attribute the patients sudden failure to thrive to some disease or organ malfunction. Once the patient is dead, good detectives test for arsenic, often using hair samples. This is why so many killers rush their spouse to the crematorium. It's always a horribly sad story that happens to people you don't know. But today I was made aware of it on a personal level. Years ago a close female friend, who was attractive and vivacious and had a coterie of admiring friends met an obnoxious and controlling Englishman18 years older than her 26. For some reason she adored this bombastic bore, so much so that she eventually gave up all her friends and family. Even though I had not heard from her for over 20 years, I always expected to run into her. Today I learned from another long ago friend that she had died at 53. I, and everyone else that knew her, immediately assumed that he had murdered her. By doing some research I found that she had supposedly died of celiac disease, but no tests for poisoning were ever done. She was immediately cremated and this ne'er-do-well inherited her home and trust fund. When he returned to his ill-gotten house, showing no signs of grief or regret, the neighbors and all past friends scorned and ignored him. I'm happy to report that 18 months after her death, and having no one to control or even communicate with, this creature committed suicide by taking pills, his body, upon discovery, was rancid, bloated, and fly-infested.

It's about time.

Today I did something that took a lot of courage. And I'll bet you haven't been able to do it. And I know you need to, because almost everyone needs to. You think about it, and you're almost ready to take the plunge, and then you stop. Maybe I should wait a little longer, you think. Or this could turn out real bad. Then you think it's a memory problem. If only I could remember what these are, you tell yourself. Then you fail to, once again, do what you should, what I actually did today at about 4:30 pm. I threw away every key I've had for ages that I didn't know what it unlocked. Every last one of them. Just tossed them. About fifteen different keys. Impressive looking brass keys that certainly unlock doors or bolts. Tiny little silver keys that surely open up boxes and tins, maybe even miniature padlocks. Familiar-looking keys and some that are totally foreign to me. I didn't care. I just took them all, put them in a plastic bag, tossed them in the rubbish, and even took them out to the trash bin, which I then rolled directly to the sidewalk. I feel really good about this action, cleansed, relieved, unburdened by the constant awareness of those mysterious, possibly necessary, keys uselessly cluttering up kitchen drawers. The only thing I don't feel good about is that they don't take the trash until tomorrow.

A roadblock on the information highway.

One thing that no longer exists as it once did is Information, 411. It's still there, but it's practically useless. Though I have foolishly tried to use it many times in the past couple of years, it never provides the correct number until the recorded device turns you over to an equally ignorant operator. Today I tried to get the number of a friend named Cheeseman. The record kept saying, "You want the number of Junior Achievement. Is that correct?" When I finally did reach a living person, she finally figured out  the name I wanted. However, before it was read to me I had to listen to several commercials, including one for my most hated nemesis Comcast. The Internet isn't much more helpful. Technology has replaced many services that were far superior to modern technology.

No YouTube today.

I'd love to watch some YouTube videos today, but I can't. Well I could, but it would mean I have to keep watching the irritating Bold Look of Kohler commercial which plays before every single video I want to watch. Who decided that the same video commercial has to be played over and over for every YouTube selection? It doesn't make me want to buy the product so much as never purchase anything made by the company. Note I did not include the commercial. Why should you suffer, too?

What SunTrust calls protection.

Today I received my new SunTrust card in the mail. This was the card with "chip technology for enhanced security".  To activate it, I was required to call a phone number (probably in Omaha). Since I assumed this was a security measure, I was prepared to provide them with my Social Security Number, home address, mother's maiden name, or any other information that would safeguard my identity.  Therefore I was surprised when the mechanical voice asked me to read the 16-digit number on the card.  Since SunTrust has a lousy phone system, it could not make out my carefully articulated reading, so I typed it in. Once I did, the voice thanked me and said my card was now activated. I am assuming the system identified me by my phone number, but I'm not convinced in this age when more and more consumers lack land lines.  One wonders if a  thief had stolen my mail today and opened it to find my new credit card, would all he or she have to do is read off, or type, 16 numbers, then have complete freedom to use my credit card?

"Gawd, this man is ugly."

I'm guessing, and I could be wrong, that Rafael Cruz
doesn't know that he's terminally unattractive.  If he did, he would not have put his ugly mug on the cover of his ghost-written book. He would not look so peacocky at fundraisers. And he would never subject his audiences to his Grandpa Munster smile. But sadly he not only thinks he's attractive, but—are you sitting?— macho and funny. This mistaken belief can be the only possible explanation for his video Making Machine Gun Bacon with Ted Cruz. In the video, a goony grinning Cruz wraps bacon around the barrel of a semi-automatic machine gun and then fires off a round of shots which supposedly heats the bacon. One wonders why someone this disturbed owns a semi-automatic machine gun and what this demonstration is supposed to prove. Is it a fundraising tool designed to arouse the generous donations of Duck Dynasty fans everywhere? Or does he think Hormel will hire him as their new spokesman once he fails to get any kind of support for the presidency? All it proved to me is that Rafael Cruz is a huge rancid lump of Canadian bacon.

The dead are not grateful.

Ironic that so many of these rock bands think it's "cool" to have morbid names like Eagles of Death Metal and feature such stage decor as the skeletons seen here. Sadly it's not so cool when real death intrudes on their trendy motifs as it did in Paris.  I've never understood why young people with so much to live for have such an affected fascination with death and dying, but I hope this terrible Paris massacre inspires some bands to choose more life-affirming names.

In a way I feel bad for Ben Carson. I remember when I was competing in the Olympics, we were constantly under scrutiny by the organizers and the press. I remember telling  Jennifer Lopez I had to cancel dinner because I thought the publicity might hurt her career. Naturally she was angry. I think that's why she married Marc Anthony. But she got over it, and I had three gold medals to comfort me. But I was in it for the sport, not the money which is why I told Wheaties to shove it, but not in those words. Like Ben,  I wasn't looking for attention and glory. Not at the Olympics, and not when I turned down the scholarship at the Naval  Academy. So I can appreciate Ben's problems with the press. I think he's sincere. Let me ask this: If they didn't keep the wheat in the pyramids, where did the keep it? I've been to Egypt four times and I never saw any wheat storehouses. And what kid doesn't stab a  friend or two all in good fun? Ben is a neat guy and I hate to see everyone picking on him. But he's tough. He can take it. After all he is the great great grandson of Kit Carson. 

"...it was the worst of times."

'ACT OF WAR' 
ISIS CLAIMS CREDIT

Two comments this Saturday morning after the attacks in Paris. At least one news outlet (HuffPost) wrote that ISIS, "CLAIMS CREDIT". Don't they know that you take "responsiblity", not "credit". Killing 120 people is not an admirable act.  Also columnist Howard Fineman wrote that, "We are all Parisians, again." What kind of idiocy is that? When were we all Parisians before? And isn't it time to retire that cliche, which was not a cliche when President Kennedy said we were all Berliners. The Paris attacks are hideous, horrific, and frightening because such carnage can happen anywhere when they involve soulless zealots. It's hard to imagine that there is an army of creatures filled with so much hate that they can kill so indiscriminately. But I am sure that we, the civilized, will stupidly employ reason and law to deal fairly with these monsters once we capture them, if we capture them outside of their moment of terrorism. That's a pity. Because to dispatch every proven member of ISIS whether home-grown or newly arrived for another country, including and especially the United States, I would like to see the return of the guillotine, and I will happily take up knitting.

credit noun (PRAISE)

› [C/U] ​praise or ​approval, esp. to ​recognize ​achievement:[U] You have to give him credit for being so ​honest.[U] How can he take credit for ​work he didn’t do?

America's pious pinhead.

This past Friday, presidential candidate Rafael Cruz said that he believes anyone who wants to be president must fear God and pray daily and that "an atheist is not fit to be president." In short, he feels that every president should believe in magical thinking, assume that some supreme being somewhere in the sky will hear a president's plea for world peace and act on it, and that that "old time religion" is necessary for any occupant of the White House. He clings to this belief despite the fact that there is world hunger, global warming, horrible violence, millions of homeless refugees, and hundreds of other daily occurring atrocities which Cruz's pray-worthy God doesn't seem to have any interest in preventing, (not to mention that He made Cruz himself god-ugly). Plus how naive is this moron to assume that none of our presidents have been atheists? Of course they couldn't out and say so in a pseudo-Christian country, but it is foolish to assume that all of our past presidents were as blindly superstitious as he is. Also considering that Rafael is such a liar, panderer, and hypocrite, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if he weren't an atheist himself, although I don't think he's enough of a rational thinker for that to be the case.

Liam calls it in.

I've just watched one of the worst films I've seen in years. I probably shouldn't even admit that I would waste several hours watching anything is worthless as Taken 3, but I did. The good news is when you're watching poorly-directed trash like this, you can muse about other things. Like: Would Liam Neeson ever land high-salaried drek like this if, at 63, he hadn't kept a full head of hair. Or: How do directors as mediocre as Olivier Megaton get to helm million dollar projects like this, even if they are crap? Or does it even make sense that a man, to find the killer of his wife. will endanger hundreds of people on the L.A. Freeway, destroy several buildings, create a panic at a college that could have left students trampled, destroy lots of private property, beat the hell out of cops just doing their job, demolish a two million dollar aircraft and possibly killing the pilots, and never face any kind of arrest at the end? Or: When did all the mediocre directors get together and decide that you have to change the screen image at a headache-causing every three seconds to keep up the momentum which was never there in the first place?  What's the point of bitching about it. Rotten serials like Taken 3 will be made again and again, and probably rake in lots money from willing morons or moviegoers like me who actually liked the first Taken. What I found most amusing about the entire experience is that at the end of the film, the first credit to be seen was: Directed by Olivier Megaton. So I guess he didn't realize that this piece of shit was something to be embarrassed about. On the other hand Megaton sounds like a pseudonym, so maybe he did.

I don't like Comcast anyway. But is it a coincidence that my service seems even slower on Sunday?  Longer waits. More disconnects. More screw-ups. If this is true of you, too, you can let me know by
clicking, "No comments", the idiotic way this blog encourages readers to make comments.

MISSING FOR EIGHT YEARS.

The most disturbing thing about Leah Remini's fascinating expose of the Church of Scientology is the question, "Where is Shelly Miscavige?". This is a question Ms. Remini has asked repeatedly about her one-time friend who has been missing, or at least non-communicado, since 1990. As the wife of the powerful head of the church David Miscavige, one is very curious what could possibly have happened to her. Even more of a mystery is why did the Los Angeles Police Department refuse to even follow up on this missing person's report, taking the word of church leaders that, "she was fine and did not want to be found." (Imagine if someone had said that about Elizabeth Smart.) The story is that she is at the Church's desert compound  (a punishment center in Riverside County, California.) Considering that Miscavige has been accused of imprisoning and personally beating up disloyal members at this compound, the idea that Shelly is dead is not so far-fetched. Since the Church was able to blackmail IRS agents into giving them undeserved tax-free status (allowing them to amass billions) it is not unlikely that their influence is felt with many law enforcement departments, possibly even the FBI. One will only know that this is not the case when these crime-solving authorities get off their asses and find Shelly Miscavige, dead of alive.

Heh Heh Heh

Don't Cheney and Bush look like two villains from a superhero comic book, gleefully laughing at all the death and destruction they have caused? On this earth there are not two more despicable creatures. And to think that the Republicans want to install a statue of Cheney in the Capitol. That shows just how much the GOP really cares about the thousands of service men and women who died in the faux war of these gloating war criminals.

"Duh. I think silos might make good cemeteries."

It seems Ben Carson has revealed another one of his idiotic theories. Now he is of the opinion that the ancient Egyptians built the pyramids, not as tombs, but to store wheat. One can only imagine how easy it would be to access those vast volumes of wheat from narrow hallways and hidden chambers. He also feels that God helped them with the design and not some visiting aliens—equally unlikely helpers. The Egyptians did not worship Benny's non-existent God so it is unlikely He would have helped them with construction even if all supreme beings—from Osiris to Jehovah— weren't a complete fantasy. The fact that this truly stupid Being There character is number one in the polls is one of the great mysteries of the 21st Century.

Note: I think I found a clue to Carson's success. On the Internet I could not find a single photo that  reflected just how incredibly ignorant this guy is.

Odd rituals.

Straight men are terrified of showing affection for another man. A quick and awkward hug is about as far they will go. But just let them win a game or series and they're hugging, kissing, and rubbing their bodies together in ecstatic embraces. It's a pity that most men can't show the same kind of love for lifelong, or even recent, male friends that they do for teammates who may be total strangers to them off the field.

Everyone's missing the point.

This Sunday on "Meet the Press" Paul Ryan told Chuck Todd that the smell of cigarettes from Boehner's chain smoking still lingered in the speaker's office. He wasn't sure how he could get the smell out. This led to lots of media discussion about the evils of smoking and the lingering odors. But I think everyone missed the point of this story. I think this is an incredible indictment of Ryan's character. He chose to publicly ridicule John Boehner by pointing out that he probably smoked illegally in a public building, that he was addictive, and basically that he stank. Now I don't like Boehner and never have. But Ryan is supposed to be a loyal Republican. But in order to remind Americans how pure and healthy he is he chose to expose his colleague to public derision. I think this was a despicable act of disloyalty from a smug and thoughtless punk. Ryan should have dealt with the problem, embraced his new job, and kept his prissy little mouth shut.

So many baaaad ideas.

One of the most annoying requests in life, the one that fills me with fury and an immediate f.u. response is when any supplier, notably Comcast writes on the bill "Please put your account number on the check."What am I, their clerk?  While paying the bill that I think is far too costly anyway, why should I take the time to seek out and write down on the check their 15-digit account number? More and more businesses are depending on you to do part of their job, such as self check-out at CVS and Home Depot. No thanks.  I want someone to ring me up. Another major offender are restaurants and fast-food outlets that want you to bus the  table when you are done. This is a perfectly acceptable request when  the prices are so reasonable that one is glad to provide a helping hand to keep them low. (That, after all, was its original intent.) But it should not apply to such pricey establishments as Starbucks. But then we Americans are easily manipulated. Look how often we—including me—give tips to people who are standing behind a counter and not providing any extra service. Why do we feel we have to help prosperous business owners pay their help?

Comments please.

I get almost no comments from my blog. Surely I must have amused you, or irritated you or, even better infuriated you, but still no comments. Too bad because I like debating. And, besides, there are so many things I don't know that could be answered by someone reading my blog. But maybe you don't know how to reply. It isn't very clear. But I think it's simple. All you have to do is click,"No comments" and presto, you have a place to comment. So how about giving it a try. Especially you: One of my favorite people who showed up at my birthday party 33 years ago dressed as Harpo Marx.

Watch your step!

One of America's most popular and successful promotions has got to be this Dr. Scholl's machine which they promote as "state-of-the-art in foot mapping technology". It's hard to accept that this flimsy "kiosk" which seems to be made out of cardboard and powered by two AA batteries can diagnose anything. Still one is encouraged to step on it without one's shoes to see where your feet experience the most pressure. If the machine is working (they often aren't) you will be encouraged to purchase one of the displays inserts, which are absurdly overpriced. One friend suggested the goal of the machine is to have you step on the platform without shoes, get athlete's foot and buy a Dr. Scholl's remedy. Now I can't actually prove that this machine is worthless or that the costly inserts are a waste of money, but everything about this kooky kiosk screams scam.

It's three, three, three commercials in one!

I was curious to watch a clip from the ABC News special interviewing Leah Remini on her new book Troublemaker, in which she details why she left the Church of Scientology and how she feels about Tom Cruise. But before I could see this clip I had to watch a commercial for IHOP. Hmmm. Now why do I have to watch a commercial for IHOP when this Leah Remini clip is itself a commercial for ABC News in which Leah Remini is promoting her book Troublemaker, another commercial message?  This is a perfect example of how the American public are sheep when it comes to being forced to watch far more commercials than necessary to make a good profit. The advertisers want to make a killing, and they know consumers are complete suckers.

I have a love/hate relationship with Huffington Post. I love that it's easily accessible, has most of the news  I'm interested in and seems relatively unbiased. I hate that it is so chauvinistic and can't make up it's mind whether it wants to be a news source or a girly magazine. There are far too many stories about how so and such looks hot in her new bikini. I also hate that its so-called editors often write terrible headlines, use incorrect grammar, and employ all the latest jargon such as "hack" instead of "hint". I hate that its editor for LBGT issues is so attached to the offensive word "queer". I hate that they can't seem to stop using superlatives for everything. Their stories are just not that hilarious, incredible, astounding, mind-blowing or unforgettable. I hate that they have far too many depressing animal abuse stories. I hate that so many of their stories don't appear on command or are not in the area they say they are.  I hate that they have too many plugs for Disney properties, (Frozen didn't deserve nearly that much    space). And I really hate the frequency with which they air the opinions and quotes of such insignificant nobodies as Bristol Palin. Hmmm. I guess I don't have a love/hate relationship with Huffington Post. It seems to be more hate. But I still keep reading it.

Too many hoops.

There are lots of interesting and amusing feature on the Internet. Things like the "Ten Worst Movies of Al Time" or "What 31 Bond Girls Look Like Now" or even a tour of some famous person's home. The  trouble is they are commercial traps. In many cases they feature several different arrows, designed to confuse the viewer. Click one and you continue with your tour of the garden and pool area. Click the other and you're immediately involved in some commercial for a car or pharmaceutical. And getting back to the feature is tricky and exhausting. Thus I have given up attempting to visit any of these sites. The good news is I won't have to put up with the endless ads and commercials of the Internet. The bad news is I will never know what Bea Arthur's mansion looked like.

La Bardot.

Tonight on Turner Classic Movies they are showing The Night Heaven Fell, an insignificant 1958 film who's only appeal is Brigitte Bardot. (Today she is a major fighter for animal rights so she must have been disturbed by the many scenes of bullfighting in this boring film.) But that isn't the point of this post. In watching just a few scenes from this unwatchable film I was struck by the fact that Brigitte Bardot was an incredibly beautiful actress who appeared in far too many visually ugly films.

Three stooges.

The inept Jeb Bush, obviously can't take a hint. The fact that his campaign is failing miserably hasn't given him a clue that America does not want him. This  is especially true after he defended his traitorous, mass-murdering brother and made the ridiculous statement that "He kept us safe." Now in the most ill-advised move ever he has reached out for help to the two people who can't possibly lend him any support and will, in fact, make matters worse: his war criminal brother and grinning goon of a father. The idea that he even considers this a wise move shows us just how unequipped he is to be president. The entire Bush clan is in some way tainted and more of a disaster than a dynasty. Just look at this photo. Can you honestly say that anything about it gives you an iota of confidence?

A word to the wise.

It's that irritating time again when so many people for no discernible reason start saying "holloween", usually with the smugness that suggests they think they are pronouncing it correctly while everyone else is wrong. Wrong. The hallow in Halloween is pronounced like shallow, callow, and gallows , not like wallow, hollow, or follow. And while we're at it, let's get an early start on the Christmas season. Santa has a t in it and is pronounced Santa not sanna.

Why bother practice?

As an atheist, I find all religion to be peculiar. But especially weird to me are those players who pray to win a game. This is bizarre on several levels. For one, do they really think that god, who supposedly is responsible for everything in the world, gives a damn about their football game? Do they think he's sitting back with a beer keeping score of some rinky-dink high school competition? or even the Super Bowl. (Is that why we have disasters because he's not paying attention?) Then if you win, how can you take any pride in the victory if you think god made is possible and your athletic skills did not come into play?  And if you lose, don't you wonder why god thought so little of you that he let the other team win, or did they just pray harder? And do fans really pray for their team to win? Well according to a new survey half of American sports fans believe that god is at play in the games they watch, and 19% believe god is involved in determining who wins on the court or in the field.  I wonder of those same religious fans believe that god determines who wins at checkers.