Quirky Kirky.

If you're going to be a homophobic, neurotic, hate mongering, religious zealot bigot, it's a good idea to have a spouse who is just as stupid and narrow as you. And Kirk Cameron does. His wife Nancy Mueller Cameron, whose only real claim to fame as an actress was a bit in the Seinfeld episode, "The English Patient." You'll never believe what her role in life is at the moment, other than helping her wacko husband spread hate. She is his kissing double. Since Kirk Cameron refuses to kiss any woman who is not his wife, Nancy steps before the camera for any movie scenes requiring that sinful and disgusting act against God. Naturally she is dressed in the appropriate costume and filmed from behind. Tell me this couple doesn't belong is some kind of mental institution.

Note: The Internet has several suggestions that this couple is planning a divorce, but I can't find anything that confirms that. If it's true, I would have to say she's not as stupid as I thought.

Don't kid yourself. It's still a hate word.

This is how backward Huffington Post and most other media are today. In writing an article about the Westboro Baptist Church, decrying their bigotry, they, themselves opened with this totally offensive and inappropriate paragraph:

The vehemently anti-queer group, which infamously protests the funerals of American soldiers and the concerts of super stars like Cher because it believes those events promote pro-queer sentiment, found itself the butt of a Thanksgiving prank.

The "q" word is still considered as offensive as the "n" word and should never be used. And though a small minority of gays, for some inexplicable reason, like being called by a long-established demeaning and pejorative term, the majority do not think of themselves as queer, which also means, odd, weird, worthless, counterfeit, questionable, suspicious, eccentric, unconventional, mildly insane, and touched.

Note: Law professor, David Groshoff has written several articles trying to justify the use of the "q" word. David Groshoff is an idiot.

Stupid holiday commercial.

This is the kind of thing that astounds me.  Mars is a world leader in candy. M & Ms is one of their biggest sellers. Christmas is a major season for candy sales. They probably have a zillion dollar budget. Yet all their agency can come up with is this lame commercial. Two M & Ms go to meet Santa. He sees them and faints. How long did this concept take, a minute and a half? It isn't even logical. Why would Santa, who is surrounded be elves and sees toys of every description and leads a magical life of flying reindeers be surprised at seeing two talking candies? He wouldn't. If they went to meet him why are they surprised he exists, especially when they're talking candy. Plus they're supposed to be red and green. The green looks yellow here and on my TV. Hmmm.

"Hey, Liz, show a little class."

Some people are very into forgiveness and very quick to pardon persons who say nasty things about others, but who later apologize and admit they were wrong. I'm not one of them. I think that Elizabeth Lauten, the communications director for Rep. Stephen Fincher (R.Tenn.) is a raging bitch for criticizing Obama's daughters for behaving like the young people they are.  Lauten not only encouraged the teenagers to "show a little class" because they were apparently not acting up to her standards of charm school behavior, but this shrew went so far as to criticize their parents. I am getting fucking sick of all the politically biased people who criticize the Obamas, a family who are excellent role models for anyone, and annoyed as hell with the lazy media who joyfully report all such attacks. And I don't care how much Elizabeth Lauten apologizes: she's a small minded and ignorant woman who should have kept her big mouth shut. 

In case anyone isn't familiar with Henri, the Existential Cat, this will prove a great introduction. There are many videos of this disdainful cat, all funny. Having cats myself, I can only appreciate how real this is. If you only see part of this on my blog, I suggest you to the Internet to appreciate Henri in all his bored and blase glory.

You've got to be kidding!

Some headlines are just too hilarious to be true. Some ambitions are just too absurd to be even remotely possible. I will never sing on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera, and Rick Perry will never be president. The idea that he is inviting donors to contribute to his run for president in 2016 is beyond ludicrous. The man is an idiot, not unlike another idiot that was also governor of Texas. Of course he did get to be president twice. One from stealing the election with the help of his pals on the Supreme Court, and again because Americans, despite what they think, are mostly stupid. However, I think they are smart enough to recognize what a doofus Perry is, even if they don't remember his lapse in memory during his last attempt at a nomination. With all that in mind one can only roar at the Huffington Post headline today: Rick Perry Ramps Up For 2016

William Redfield (1927-1976)

The actor in this scene from the film A New Leaf is William Redfield, yet another great actor who never became a huge star, but always a dependable and admired actor, who is especially hilarious in this scene.

"..women with parasols..."

At 72, I've seen hundreds of shows: Broadway musicals, and excellent regional and amateur productions. But I would say this opening of Ragtime was the most thrilled I've ever been during any stage production. The entire musical was excellent, but the opening was truly breathtaking because it was so impressive you almost stopped breathing. Sadly the show did not achieve the success it deserved because of a half-billion dollar fraud scheme by impresario Garth Drabinsky who received a 7-year jail sentence.  But there are still productions across the country. As much as I detest the people who run the Actors' Playhouse in Coral Gables, their productions are usually very good. They will be doing Ragtime this January and if you live near Miami, I recommend it highly. That is if you find this clip as engaging as  think you might.

Just months ago, impresario Garth Drabinsky received seven years in prison for his part in a half-billion-dollar fraud scheme.)

Two words to the wise.

There are two new words that American needs. I have been trying to come with one of them with no luck. The word defines that frequent event where the thing you needed fixed is perfect the day that you have designated for its repair. E.g. You don't need a haircut the day you booked an appointment. The tooth no longer aches on the day you see the dentist. The house looks great just the way it is hours before the painters are due to arrive. Get it? I though Tempection (temporary perfection) would work, but it's not good enough. Any ideas. The other word I think we need is a replacement for "accident". Accident suggests blameless when more often than not it's somebody's fault. I suggested "laxident". Laxident is a clearer word. Somebody was lax, and if it suggests laxative, no problem because the results of that laxity are often excremental.

Blame, blame, blame, blah, blah, blah.

Well maybe Christie didn't jump on the bandwagon to attack President Obama. He couldn't; he's too obese. But he did lumber up to it and stand next to it to deliver his attack. His accusation is that Obama is partly to blame for the violence in Ferguson due to his "lack of leadership". First of all can't-control-his-weight Christie is not one to talk about leadership. Secondly Obama is a better leader than any of these moronic Republicans. Imagine how much violence there would be if the same Ferguson incident happened with uber-rich Romney as president. African-Americans already now how little he regards them from his famous percentage speech, so they would feel totally abandoned.  The Republicans are lucky that the lazy media will quote any stupid thing they say, whether it's true or not. 

Stick to medicine, Benny.

I never heard of this moron, Ben Carson. But apparently this retired neurosurgeon is  the latest malcontent to come out and attack President Obama. His whine is, "I actually believe that things were better before the president was elected. And I think that things have gotten worse because of is unusual emphasis on race." An odd comment from a conservative who is considering making a run for president himself in 2016. Of course the guy's a jerk. Obama has not put an unusual emphasis on race. Plus we have always had these problems. If the news wasn't covering Ferguson, it was fired up about Rodney King. Being another empty-headed Republican, Carson is looking for ways to vilify our president, even if he should be proud to have an African American in the nation's highest office. Plus if this idiot starts feeding fodder to the racists like Mitch McConnell's crowd, he'll be burning the bridges of his own presidential ambitions (not that he has a chance in hell). Of course he started burning them years ago when he came out against gay marriage and says he does not believe in evolution.

A popular club.

A close friend was recently telling me how well his sister behaved when she found out her husband was gay. She was not vindictive, not cruel, not greedy. She accepted it as a sad fact of life and as much as she loved him, she resigned herself that there would be a divorce and he would move on in his new life. Hearing this I said to him, "I wonder if there is an organization for women who found out their husbands are gay." He replied, "There is. It's called the Republican Party."

Sleepless in Ferguson.

Well the verdict is in, and, surprise, once again a police officer has killed a suspect and walked away without any charges.. Was Darren Wilson guilty? I don't know. I do know six bullets is a lot to bring down a teen-ager.  And I always wonder why cops spend so much time at the gun range when they never seem to be capable of disabling someone by shooting them in the leg or the arm. I also know there are stories every week of some innocent person dying at the hands of trigger-happy policeman, (Yesterday a Cleveland cop killed a 12-year-old boy who had a pellet gun. You can be sure this stupid cop will never be punished.) Of course the lazy news media will be regurgitating this story for a week. This morning ABC News, which is probably the most error-prone network made what I consider a major usage blunder. Their announcer said in describing the vandalism in Ferguson, "And look what they did to this Walgreen's." There is no "they". This reporter is obviously a racist who thinks of these outraged individuals as a single mob. What he should have said, "And look what was done to this Walgreen's."

Get the insulin.

This singer says that Glade hired him to write this jingle to express how their holiday scent made him feel. Apparently it inspired him to write an incredibly trite song, with an insipid tune and cliche lyrics that don't rhyme.  Sadly every competent singer today feels he or she is skilled at songwriting, which is why there is so much sappy and sentimental crap clogging the air.

Bucks and bucks? How clever can you get?

I'm not crazy about this campaign, though I do think the "words can hurt" commercial is very clever. This spot, on the other hand, is about as far from clever as you can get. How could the creative team stoop to something so obvious, so easy, so stupid? You could see this weak gag coming a mile away and once it arrived, it stunk.

Who was whose soul mate?

This is a very nice commercial, though, like most of these financial commercials I don't really
understand what the hell they're talking about. Also I think there's a flaw in the logic.  The young man is drawing the young woman without her knowledge. At a certain point she gets up and leaves the restaurant. Since she is the one who is leaving the legend should not say, "That was her soul mate" but, rather, "That was his soul mate." If you don't agree, say so. Nobody writes to my blog.

Pathetic states.

Huffington Post just did an article called "The Ten Worst Cities for LGBT Rights." And guess what? The worst cities were in Mississippi, Alabama, Montana, and Texas. Can you believe it? I couldn't be more surprised. Maybe I could accept that they are bigoted, homophobic morons in Montana. But Mississippi, Alabama, Texas! I think of these states as bastions of intellectualism, forward thinking,  good-hearted liberalism. I mean they are so Christian. What a shock. I am still reeling.

Kirk, le divine.

Recently Kirk Cameron, a rabid homophobe, posed the question, "What should you say to a gay person?" A surprised query considering that he is unlikely to be in the company of a gay person since God has advised him that it is a sin against nature, gays will rot in hell, and that gay marriages are destructive to society since marriage between a man and a woman was defined in the Bible. Well, I know you can't argue with a closed mind, so I'd like to ask Kirk a question.

What were you thinking when you wore this flamboyant outfit, using your shirt as a wildly feminine and fetching off-the-shoulder shawl and giving that provocative. "I want to get screwed" gaze which was apparently designed to appeal to all your male fans?

Small bottle. Huge racket.

One of the saddest and most shameful rackets today is prescription eye drops. These drops, generally used for the treatment of glaucoma, come in thumb-sized bottles designed to last one-month only. Today I paid $51.00 for one of those tiny bottles. I can afford it, plus I have insurance. Which doesn't mean that isn't a rip-off price. It is. The medicine can range in price up to $100s. And I repeat, it lasts for one month. Does it have to be that costly? Of course not. But the pharmaceuticals are only interested in making super profits, regardless of who suffers. And who does suffer? Seniors, of course, who are  mostly on fixed incomes. Imagine your mother is living on Social Security. She manages. Then she goes for an eye-exam. The doctor insists she needs to take these eye drops twice a day to treat her glaucoma. With insurance, they cost about $25.00 a month. Without it, completely unaffordable. So what? Live with glaucoma? She has no choice. As with everything else, Americans are sheep. We pay the insane prices. We don't question how long we're kept waiting by doctors who   greedily overbook. We don't want to be seen as trouble makers. I say make trouble, yell about greed, questions those who think they have all the answers. And when you pick up your eye drops at Walgreens, say, "I'm forced to pay this price. But these drops are too fucking expensive." And trust me, it will have even more of an impact if you are an adorable lady of 80-plus.

Note: I'd love to have someone at Allergen, Inc. explain to me why this tiny little bottle of liquid is worth almost $120.00. And also explain why equally small bottles from other companies are worth up to $300 or $400. And while they're at it, who came up with the scam of using only tiny bottles designed to last one month.

Two risible rags.

There are two publications that I cannot understand anyone buying. First of all they are so poorly written, it's hard to imagine they even have an editorial staff other than giddy teenagers who do the writing after school. Plus they are both expensive. Just to be seen with either one of them brands you as a low-brow and unsophisticated person, not to mention a moron. The publications: The National Enquirer and People. Their idea of an in-depth article is some gossip about a former celebrity that takes up no more than a half-inch of space. Most of their costly coverage is some kind of photo essay about different celebs we never heard of in bathing suits or evening gowns. I found People recently on the seat of a train. I read it in about eight unedifying minutes. The Enquirer's main talent is predicting the imminent deaths of once-famous celebrities, usually years before they actually die. People prides itself on...well, nothing, really...unless you count their the annual "Sexiest Man Alive".The photo on the left is of this year's Sexiest Man choice. Now while I'm sure Blake Shelton, whoever he is, is a nice person, do you think this is the sexiest man alive.

Real time without real facts.

I like Bill Maher. But he often goes over the line. He's too much a promoter of drugs, which is fine for him with all his money and self-control, not so great for less prosperous or intelligent people. He also is a bit too much of a potty mouth, like a teen-ager who just discovered the word fuck. In addition, while he feigns being so liberal, he makes frequent comments that stereotype gays in a way no less offensive than those who vilify them.  Last night on Real Time with Bill Maher, he was particularly disappointing with his ready acceptance of Bill Cosby's guilt and eagerness to proclaim as much. Oddly enough he cited as reason to believe all these woman accusing Cosby of rape was that they all told the same story. That would suggest to me repeating what one had heard. I don't know whether Cosby is guilty or not, but I was surprised at Maher's alacrity in assuming he was. One wonders if it isn't the jealous reaction of one stand-up comedian being pleased at the downfall of the man considered to be the greatest contemporary stand-up comic. Who knows?

The D.T.s in D.C,

Apparently America's most famous do-nothing alcoholic has jumped on the bandwagon (the only wagon he's ever been on) to attack President Obama. It seems he thinks our president has committed a terrible crime by providing deportation relief for approximately 4.4 million undocumented immigrants. When interviewed under the table at the Willard Hotel bar, the Day-Glo Orange house speaker, said, "Ish dishgusting. He thinks he's a, you know, like Cugula." After vomiting onto his briefcase, he added, "After all we've done for him. Uppity, thash what it ish, uppity." The interview ended there when Boehner passed out as he urinated on the hotel's century-old luxurious Persian carpet.

Always angry, always full of hate.

Rafael Cruz, who goes under the name Ted because he's so ashamed of his Cuban-Canadian background, is at it again. He is accusing Obama of acting like a monarch because the president is forced to act on his own because of useless Republicans like Rafael. Yet nobody complains that Rafael is acting like Joe McCarthy with all his deceptive accusations and petty angers. Look at this face. Every small-minded, narrow, petulant and vindictive thought is etched on that ugly smush. We Americans have an embarrassment of despicable Republicans. Rafael is one of the worst.

Another giant dies.

The lazy and ignorant media is at it again. Mike Nichols dies and all HuffPost and other news outlets can think to use for a headline is "The Director of  The Graduate Dies". It's not that that popular Hoffman flick wasn't important, it's that these writers are so bloody ignorant they wouldn't appreciate how important and versatile Nichols was. I'm sure they were hit by the "duh" factor and leeched onto the first title that rang a bell. I'm guessing they had no idea that during the past 50 years Nichols has directed many landmark productions including many of Neil Simon's most successful plays such as Barefoot in the Park and The Odd Couple. His major films include Remains of the Day, and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. His achievements on tv included the much awarded Angels in America. I wonder if these obit nitwits know he was married to Diane Sawyer. Then, of course, there was his first brilliant and hilarious entry into the halls of fame, as half of the team of Mike Nichols and Elaine May, who's satirical skits made them the comedy team to imitate but never surpass. Not only is The Graduate not Nichols' greatest achievement, but the very title summons up images of Dustin Hoffman, which makes its choice for Nichols' obituary beyond stupid.

  https://www.youtube.com/embed/btiDHCuWyBA?rel=0 
Here's something to click on to when you're depressed by the nightly news, sick of the greedy politicians, discouraged about the goodness of people, fed up with endless commercials, and starting to think the people just may not be nice. 

Nothing to smile about.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is. But humor is also in the eye of the beholder. I was aware of this recently. I was glancing through Esquire magazine, which many men read in order to be aware of the latest fashion trends. Many readers, I am sure, feel envious of the models and desirous of the fashions in the articles and the ads. I. however, find the magazine hilarious. While the covers often have a smiling celebrity or a beautiful woman to suggest the reader may in fact be other than a sexless narcissist, inside is very different. What could be funnier than all these stolid faced models standing around in ridiculous fashions you never see in public: super skinny suits, tiny jackets, floor-length winter coats,  prissy scarves, multi-buckled shoes? (This recent issue had two scowling (of course) models: one in a bright green overcoat, the other in a similar cut of electric blue. Either man would look ludicrous wearing his coat in public.) Why don't more of these models smile if they are that happy with their ensemble? Then, of course, there are the hair styles. Dramatic dips and spikes, bangs, near page boys,  or bald with just the right hint of shadow. If you are not a shallow Beau Brummel you have to laugh at every issue of this absurd magazine. This week I saw an article with the headline, "Which Apres Ski Beverage is Perfect for You" or something equally trivial. Come on. I'm sorry. But can you be a truly masculine man, a person of character and principle and waste your time with such vain and egocentric trivialities?

Note: Tell the truth, do you really know any man who would wear this bulky knit sweater with its huge cowl collar along with this precious and affected cap?

Why I send anonymous letters.

I write dozens of letters every year. Letters of complaint. Letters of praise. I have done it all my life. When I was younger, I almost always received replies from companies and people. I have letters from luminaries like Marcia Davenport*, Mary Rodgers, Luci Arnaz, among others, as well as replies from dozens of leading companies.  But things changed in recent years. For one thing companies and people don't want to be found. It's very difficult to locate people in the computer age. Companies rarely show their addresses, and you can't even contact them unless your sign in with an e-mail and password. And I can't imagine how celebrities get fan mail when it is impossible to locate them. If you do get the address, you are very unlikely to receive a reply. In the past three years, I have written at least three letters to Starbucks, both of praise and complaint. No response. My solution to this problem, which does not please me, is to no longer include a return address since I will not receive a reply anyway. Thus I can always convince myself the person or company I wrote to would have replied if they only knew who I was.

*Marcia Davenport for those who don't her was an American author and music critic. She was the daughter of opera singer Alma Gluck and later the stepdaughter of violinist Efrem Zimbalist and
stepsister to actor Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. Among her many accomplishments were two bestselling novels: My Brother's Keeper and Valley of Decision.

Tut, tut.

I am always amazed at persons who make a fortune being in the public eye who mispronounce simple words. Today it was Steve Harvey. This enormously successful and likable celebrity stars on The Family Feud and has his own personal show. Yet today on the feud, he repeated over and over again the mispronunciation ath-a-lete. How is it possible that someone as successful can make such a ignorant mistake again and again? Doesn't anyone on the show take him aside and tell him the correct pronunciation or doesn't anyone know? To make it even more egregious, a contestant pronounced it properly.

So many commercials stink.

There are so many commercials out there that are just bold-face lies. Here are some of the most offensive. While fabreze is a good air freshener, it is absolutely bullshit for them to claim it eliminates odors.  It does no such thing. It temporarily covers them up. While it may help a bit Bayer Aspirin can hardly be considered an effective defense against a heart attack and even if it were, it's no more effective than a cheaper aspirin.  Nor have I  found their other product Aleve to be all-day strong all day long. Despite what Mattress Firm claims, a mattress does not need to be changed every eight years nor does it gain excess weight  from skin cells. Cheerios does not give you energy as General Mills has been claiming for decades. It's a cereal with lots of energy-sapping sugar. And Special K does not miraculously help you lose weight, unless you diet and exercise while you're eating this very expensive, mostly-air product. No cough medicine works, even though many are now priced in the $18 range. I have never found Elmer's Glue effective at sticking anything to anything. Maxwell House coffee sucks and is not "good to the last drop." While I can't speak for all Shark vacuum cleaners, mine worked fine for three cleanings, then refused to pick up even a piece of lint. Just for Men hair coloring is messy, complicated, not all that natural and, at least in my case, stings. No toothpaste actually whitens your teeth no matter what name they give it to suggest otherwise. All ads for cable service are frauds and it will never cost you as little as they say it will. All eyeglass ads are lies. You will always have to pay more for thinner lenses, an attractive frame or other scam service. I have never successfully found a great bargain on any of these hotel booking services. I have gotten better deals by calling the hotel directly. While it's fun to see Kaboom change color, it doesn't make it any more effective at cleaning. And I have yet to find a soda, cookie, fast-food burger, or candy that makes me sing, dance, and leap in the air as so many such products do on television commercials.

Assault.

One of my biggest gripes about the sheepishness of Americans is that they allow themselves to be deluged with far more commercials than networks need to air to make a profit. One of the biggest offenders is one of my favorite programs The Big Bang Theory. From the beginning it came across as a 15-minute sitcom considering all the commercials that filled up every break from the show. Last night I watched an episode I had missed on On Demand. Like many shows, one could not forward through the commercials. My partner and I guessed how many commercials there would be between segments. We both figured 9, which is a lot. Well, we were both wrong. There were 15 commercials shown during that one break. That's unnecessary, fuck-the-viewer greed. And it's epidemic on every network. America was promised that if it was willing to pay to watch television, there wouldn't be as many commercials as were necessary when television was in-the-air free. It was a lie. There are tons more and nobody, but nobody, is complaining. Except me, of course.

I just don't get it.

Last night the nightly news (on all networks, I am guessing) led off with more horror tales about ISIS beheading captives, often Americans who were overseas doing noble deeds. Before I quickly turned to a sitcom channel, I saw such captives bowing their heads, having no means of avoiding the sickening torment ahead. I don't understand people who can watch these news reports. They're the same people who can tune into coverage of tortured children or mistreated animals. I am not suggesting that they have a sadistic streak, but I would like to know their reasoning for watching innocent people and pets going through hell. It's beyond me how anyone can watch reports of starving children, frightened populations driven from their homes, slaughtered animals, or any kind of cruelty. Yes, call me a coward, an avoider, someone who cannot face reality. It's true. But to those who can, how can you?

Such a simple answer.

I wondered recently how the Republicans could have had such an amazing success. I was especially amazed that Florida reelected criminal Rick Scott, voted the most unpopular governor in America not that long ago. Then, of course, Kentucky reelected the unAmerican traitor and all-around ugliest man in America, Mitch McConnell; while Wisconsin reelected the sneaky, slimy, sleepy-eyed Scott Walker. I looked for some kind of complex and profound meaning. But this week I learned that Dumb and Dumber To opened with $38.1 million at the weekend box office, and I realized why Americans have voted against their interest in such large numbers. It's because so many of them are bloody fucking stupid.

It only looks like one face.

The most dangerous Republican is Rand Paul. Why? Because he's much better at pretending to be someone he isn't than all the other right-wing nuts. On This Week with Bill Maher this week with Bill Maher, Randal made a big thing out of how much he cares about the many young African Americans in prison. If he cared as much as he says, he'd be a Democrat. That's just one of the areas he feigns concern to win the hearts of Democrats when he's not kissing the butts of Republican voters. He must think that nobody notices how duplicitous he is. It's obvious he's desperate to be president, and will tell any necessary lie to get there. All the other possible contenders are so obvious in their infirmities, they can't pull off any kind of ruse. Christie is fat, very fat, and has a short, very short, temper. Jeb Bush, while somewhat intelligent still has lapses of the idiocy that plagues the entire family. Canadian Rafael Cruz is cursed with the face of a weasel and there's nothing he can do about it. Mitt Romney is to-the-bone stupid and will never gain the confidence of the American people, most of whom he despises. Balloon-head Marco Rubio has already made enough gaffes and non sequiturs to provide ammo for several campaigns against him. Rick Perry, even more so. And Paul Ryan and Scott Walker are local favorite dodos who lack the gravitas to excite anyone outside of their home states. No sneaky,
snarky, obsequious, pandering Randal Paul is the one to watch.

Annoying Today, annoying tomorrow.

While I have never been a fan of Sam Champion, I must admit I totally agree with his recent accusation that the network morning shows have become too hysterical. It isn't recent however; it's been going on for years. When I was a youth a small coterie of fans would stand outside the Today Show window and respectfully watch the program. Now there are huge crowds of noisy, hyped-up, attention-starved tourists at every morning show displaying about as much restraint as the audience at The Price is Right. Because of these obnoxious audiences, the insipid "news" subjects, the pseudo celebrities, and the endless commercial plugs, the morning shows are no longer watchable and are all mere copies of each other, right down to the sickeningly sweet love each of them swears to feel for their fellow hosts.

Yuck.

How did a dishonest extraterrestrial who was voted the most unpopular governor in American get reelected? Did he use some kind of Martian mind control over the citizens of Florida. Or are the brains of Floridians already so sun-baked stupid that it was easy to get them to vote for this creature? Given the chance to vote for an attractive, intelligent, crime-free candidate, and a proven thief who has been involved in the theft of billions, the voters chose the thief. Interesting, but then Florida often seems to be eager to hand over power to the weakest candidate and, in some cases, even the loser.

The illusion of popularity.

Mitch McConnell has it. So does Sean Hannity. And Glenn Beck, of course. And Rush Limbaugh. And many others who sow the seeds of hate, to use an appropriate cliche What is it? The illusion of popularity. The belief they are liked. And they are. Only because they are convenient conduits to hate. But they are not liked with a sense of warmth and comradeship, and good feelings. Their popularity comes because they hate in the same ugly way as those who admire them. They make the bigotry of their fans seem acceptable and, worse, common. McConnell in his desire to destroy President Obama is not seen as a racist traitor, which he is,  but as a fellow traveler on this narrow road, a guide even. And while he foments his hatred, he still professes to be a god-fearing Christian which makes him even more acceptable to his fellow hypocrites. And, he, in his reptilian coldness is convinced that he is loved, and he is—just as hunter loves his knife.

And the winner is....

Well the contest is over and Mississippi has lost. Kentucky has proven it is the most backward, bigoted, and ignorant state in the Union. They could have won, of course, by just reelecting Mitch McConnell, a vomitous, glassy eyed, chinless cretin . But they have proven themselves dumber than any other state with the recent decision by Kentucky Baptists on Tuesday to sever ties with a Louisville church that is open to performing same-sex marriages. Even though the bible has no actual restrictions against gays, these backward bigots, who sacrilegiously create their own word of god, are terrified of any kind of loving relationship that doesn't include a toothless man and wife, Kentucky bourbon and whipping children who don't strictly follow every asshole dictate laid down by their missionary position parents. Congratulations Kentucky. There is no doubt you will hold this title for a long, long time.

Home again.

Talk about nerve. I just got back from vacation in New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Richmond. As every vacationer knows the cost of hotels keeps going up and up. One has no choice but too pay the ever-inflating prices. What galls me is that every hotel I stayed it has sent me an e-mail requesting me to fill out a review of their hotel. And of course the reviews are styled in such a way that you can't say what you want. If you could, I would tell the Omni Richmond that they have a lot of nerve leaving a bottle of water around with a sign telling you it will cost you $5.00 if you drink it. I would tell the Midtown in Boston to replace the fluorescent lights over their sinks which make guests look like cadavers. I can't complain about the Windsor Suites in Philadelphia which was an excellent bargain and a totally guest-pleasing hotel, but then I told them that at the time. I don't see why I should fill out an additional questionnaire. I think I'll send them all a questionnaire asking them to rate me as a guest.

Artistes.

Among the many "artistic" items created by serial killers and mass murders are this necklace from Albert de Salvo, the Boston Strangler, and these paintings by George W. Bush. Now while Albert de Salvo murdered 13 women while President Bush is responsible for the deaths of many thousands of men, women and children, the creations of both men are highly valued by persons having little interest of art but a tremendous fascination with murderers. On November 25, 1973, De Salvo was found in his cell, stabbed to death by a fellow inmate. Bush, on the other hand, has never known a single day of deprivation in his entire life.

Whose side are you on?

Here's something I wouldn't expect to see, but did. While watching television in Philadelphia I saw a commercial encouraging users of the drug Xarelto who had suffered medical problems such as as "serious bleeding event" or a "cerebral hemorrhage" to contact the advertising law firm to join a class action suit. Less than 15 minutes later the same station ran a commercial for Xarelto extolling the virtues of this product used to reduce the risk of stroke and blood clots in people with "atrial fibrillation not caused by a heart valve problem."  Somebody should talk to the programming manager.

12 year old advertisers.

This year there's a whole slew of juvenile smirky commercials created by agency's that have no interest in being taken seriously and clients whose tastes leads to the low-brow and vulgar. In one Infinity commercial a woman says "flipping" in hopes that the viewer will of course interpret "fucking". This is also the brilliant gimmick of a hotel booking sites whose name happily eludes me. How adult. How charming. Even more tasteless is a commercial by Fiber One in which adult women in a supermarket seem to be impressed with the bulge in the teen stockboy's pants, but—then—silly us, they're really aroused by the Fiber One products he is carrying. The creative team must have been proud of themselves to come up with this clever concept. Not. 

Note: I couldn't download the offending Fiber One commercial, which suggests to me that even the advertiser must have realized how utterly tasteless it is.

Same old. Same old.

The blue-haired  ladies I kept running into on the the 6th floor of the Omni Richmond seemed very pleasant . They were giddy about each new adventure they were about to undertake, and even the ones who were driving Rascals seemed to be charming old ladies full of, to use an old expression, piss and vinegar. So even when one nearly ran me over in her haste to get to the Arby's in the lobby, I tended to think well of them. That is until I discovered that they were at the hotel for a biennial convention of the Daughters of the Confederacy, suggesting to me that they were racists and Republicans, or is that

redundant? 

Trains are great. Amtrak not so much.

Amtrak sucks. I say this as a seasoned annual traveler who only takes Amtrak because of a totally illogical fear (I am told) of flying. Which means, of course, that it takes me ages to get anywhere and costs me twice as much as any airline. I can also expect to never to arrive on time. I am writing this from one of their many remote Amtrak outposts (not deserving of the term stations) located far from any civilization or actual destination. This one is called Staples Mills and it's somewhere outside of Richmond, Virginia, a site that necessitates a $40.00 cab fare in addition to the outrageous price one already paid for the rail ticket. It’s a depressing venue off of a busy highway, the only neighbor being McDonalds. In its dismal setting where lots of dreary and weary passengers are waiting for trains that are almost always late. Mine is already an hour behind. Once it arrives I can relax in my coffin-like compartment for the seemingly endless 24-hour journey back to Miami. One hopes to get the rare attendant, black or white, who doesn't have some kind of attitude problem. Once I arrive at the remote Miami outpost, generally an hour or two late, I could take the free Metrorail to my stop downtown, that is if I didn't mind taking a chance on being murdered on the two blocks from the deserted outpost to the station. I wrote to Amtrak recently complaining about its many flaws and got an insipid "bedbug" letter from a public relations  person. 

Great paintings. Lousy museum.

On my recent visit to Philadelphia I went to the first museum I have ever actually hated: the Barnes Foundation. Now I must tell you that everyone else I spoke to who had been there thought it was a wonderful museum. This means they were stupid or lying. The museum which houses the collection of Albert C. Barnes offers one of the finest collections of Post-impressionist and early Modern paintings. Among its treasures are the extensive works of Renoir, Cezanne, Matisse, Picasso, Rousseau, and Modigliani. So what didn't I like? The fact that the paintings are hung, to my mind, haphazardly on the crowded walls with no informative legends, but only a brass plate with the artist's name. If you want to know more you must read an accompanying small-type brochure. Seeing these many masterpieces so sloppily displayed made me aware that though Renoir used to my favorite artist, now I found his paintings too bland in their indistinct softness.  I also realized that, though I love Modigliani, I am not sure I would now consider him a great artist so much as a novelty painter, not unlike Keane. I realize my whole response to the Barnes is iconoclastic, but—hell—I'm entitled to my opinion.

Note: I think this is a ridiculous way to display great paintings. How is one supposed to appreciate the landscape just above the central painting? Does one move that vase and climb up on that chest? And what the hell are the andirons for?

"That is not something we offer."

How did so many restaurants get the false idea that it’s elegant to not serve cream for the coffee? This peculiarity usually happens in French bistros or otherwise pretentious restaurants. You have a pleasant meal, and order coffee. The server brings it along with a pitcher of milk. If you ask for cream he or she tells you in the most superior manner that they don’t have cream. Their sneer (much like the one shown here) suggests that you are low brow, low rent, and just plain common to even make such a request. You, meantime, are furious. Because, to you, coffee is the final act of the meal, and coffee with milk is just not satisfying. If you had known that they didn’t serve cream, you would never have come to the restaurant in the first place. If you suggest that they might have heavy cream for use in their desserts, they will angrily and begrudgingly bring it to you. Where did these boobs get this idea that cream was not upper class and not even wanted?  If one goes into any Starbucks, you will see that the half and half pitcher gets a lot of use from people of all social classes. Sadly in the many misguided restaurants who eschew cream, most cream lovers accept the milk and say nothing. Not I. Definitely not I.

Retribution?

It seems Glenn Beck recently revealed that his is suffering a series of health problems from a mysterious illness. Like so many health problems these have left doctors baffled. Among his many symptoms were the feeling that someone was crushing his arms and legs or set them on fire of pushed broken glass into his feet. He also experienced sleep problems. I'm guessing these health problems have greatly limited his campaign of hate and deception, and I can't say I feel the least bit of sympathy for this miserable person. One of his theories was that someone was poisoning him. Since he is rightly despised by so many people, I would think this is the most likely cause. Like so many people he says that his faith in god has helped him deal with this affliction. I never understood that. Wouldn't god have allowed this to happen in the first place if he is as all-knowing and all-seeing as so many believe?

Fashion frames.

After having cataract surgery in August and September, I still needed reading glasses. Not being able to get a prescription yet, I purchased $2.00 readers from Big Lot, which I used until the doctor gave me the go-ahead to get a new prescription just as I was leaving for an October-November vacation.
In Boston, after breakfast, I noticed a Lenscrafters on fashionable Newbury Street. Fortunately they opened early and were able to get me an immediate appointment with the optometrist upstairs. She gave me a full examination, which cost $95.00 and I took my new prescription back to Lenscrafters, chose a $139.00 Versace frame, paid an additional $100.00 for the lenses and—voila—new reading glasses. The entire transaction was fast, convenient and at $239.00 not all that expensive. My only complaint was that once I got back to my hotel room, I realized that, as handsome as my new glasses were, they didn't provide any better vision than my equally effective $2.00 readers from Big Lots.  Hmmm.

Another myth dispelled.

One of America’s most firmly held and inaccurate beliefs is that Dunkin Donuts has great coffee. While this was once true, it no longer applies. Dunkin Donuts coffee is weak and not even consistent from one outlet to another. I can say this with confidence after a recent trip to New York, Boston, Providence, Philadelphia, and Richmond where I began most days at Dunkin Donuts. The coffee in all five cities was never rich or strong and while not undrinkable, I felt it was merely acceptable. Why did I go there? Because I love Dunkin Donuts donuts. However there are two bizarre things about the chain. 

Why do they insist on putting the cream in the coffee (Maybe so you can't see how weak the coffee is)? More often than not they add too much and I have to guide their usage, which is annoying. Also annoying is the mystery of the stick. In New York, Boston, and Providence they offer a very popular cruller-like item they call the stick, in plain and glazed. But this is not available in Baltimore or Philadelphia where they never heard of it. I wonder why? Anyway, the coffee is just okay, not America's best.

A mandate to destroy.

The Senate GOP plans a war against the EPA. This means, of course, a war on America. Climate change is real, and if we don't protect our environment starting today we're all in big trouble. But the Republicans see the profits of the already super rich as more important than the future of our country. Amazing to think that the people who will suffer most from the actions of these right-wing morons are the same people that gleefully put them into office. I would like to think that Americans are strong, intelligent people who care about their country, their children, and their fellow citizens. The recent elections have proven me wrong.

Satan at the wheel.

This is how the media supports morons. If you didn't know who George Bush was you would find this picture appealing. I guess that's why Huffington Post is hoping for. But this is a photo of a pseudo-cowboy, war criminal, mass murderer. This is a snapshot of spoiled Yankee scion of a wealthy family who has known nothing but privilege all his life. He has committed many crimes, including insider trading, and never been punished. Even now while he is responsible for the deaths of thousands of young Americans and countless men, women and children in Iraq, the press has totally given him a pass and agreed to forget all the homes he has destroyed all the crippled, blind, and mentally damaged innocents whose lives he has a ruined. So instead of showing him as the monster he is, they choose this sunny, flattering, almost heroic shot. We are already living in 1984.

Where's my jock-o-lantern?

I'm glad October is over. Now I no longer have to hear so many people mispronounce the very simple word Halloween. Hallow is pronounced just like shallow, fallow, and callow. Candles are not made of tollow but tallow. So why do so many people insist on saying Holloween or Hahloween? Don't complicate it next year. It's Halloween.

Misogynist misnomer.

One of the most hilariously inaccurate terms today is Gentlemen’s Club. This flattering designation is used for the seedy venues where horny men, rarely gentlemen, go to see strippers and pole dancers bare it all. While most men sneak out alone many "gentlemen" often go in groups of giggling goons to drink, gawk, and cheer on unfortunate young women, often with children,  who have sadly found stripping for these boors pays more than eight hours of hard labor. Being juvenile and pathetic these gentlemen will often pay additional money to enjoy the salacious satisfaction of a lap dance in which he convinces himself the woman actually likes him while she has to be careful not to vomit from revulsion on said lap.

Stop the music.

One of today's  popular myths is that everyone wants to have all their waking moments scored with music, generally the lowest form of pop. Ergo everywhere you from the local Starbucks to most medical offices and, most recently, every TD bank, you are forced to listen to mediocre tunes sung by mostly untalented singers. If this myth is true then why does Amtrak have quiet cars and why are they always full of passengers of all ages eager to avoid any kind of chatter, music, or other distracting noises? The answer is that the music industry has created a false belief about America's desire for constant music, so they can sell crappy songs and costly sound systems, and rake in monthly rentals from millions of restaurants, stores, and any other indoor or outdoor venue. Fortunately for them most Americans are sheep who do not bleat when they are being herded in any direction. I suspect that if any chain installed a quiet section, as Amtrak has quiet cars, they would be very popular and lay to rest the modern delusion that everyone wants their life filled with noise.