Owns fish. Eats Kraft. Yeah?

For some reason, which I don't understand, I cannot upload commercials anymore from  YouTube. My blog says they are uploaded, but they don't appear. So I have to settle, temporarily I hope, for just showing you the opening shot of commercials. Like this one here for Kraft Liquid Gold. I wish I could show you the whole stupid commercial because it has not real concept or logic and ends with the fact that this aquarium owner eats a cheese product, which they describe as liquid gold which is the same name as a car wax, hair products, skin care creams, and a glue. Yuck. Kraft, more than any company I know is in great need of a new agency.

Would you buy this movie?

Scene: Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts. A beautiful young girl studying to be a lawyer meets a handsome young, somewhat shy, medical student. They date frequently. Her roommate, also studying law is an attractive girl from Britain. The young people often visit local bars and restaurants and have a swell time. At one point they meet a somewhat agreeable, though grungy, street person. He appears to have no interest other than drugs. One day he comes to their apartment. He, or someone suggests that they all have an orgy: the beautiful law student, her somewhat shy handsome boyfriend, and the grungy street druggie. They ask the other young woman to join. She refuses. So they kill her in a violent, bloody fashion. Surprising since the students, at least, have never evidenced such behavior before. The beautiful young law student and her handsome somewhat shy boyfriend realize of course that this could be the end of their freedom and their careers, a disgrace to their families, the ruination of all future possibilities. But it was worth it because this girl wouldn't participate. Did you ever hear of anything so ridiculous?

No you're not.

One of the popular expressions I hate is "just kidding". I hate it because people use it to say outrageous and nasty things and then think by adding "just kidding" all is forgiven. A good example is the following. Someone responded to a Huffington Post poster who suggested that without gay men, women would lose their beauticians, a common cliche. And you can see how this moron made use of "just kidding".

Person #1  It may shock you, but gay men drive trucks, construct buildings, work on pipelines, and engage in hundreds of so-called masculine fields. When people like you drop the stereotypes, we'll all be better off.

Person #2 Actually you have it backwards. That's the stuff lesbians do. Gay men are florists, ballet dancers and hair dressers. Just kidding.

"I changed my mind, thank you."

I'm not a germophobe. But there is one thing that is universally done that absolutely disgusts and amazes me. Amazes me because it's so incredibly common when it's also so obviously wrong. It's when ice cream cone vendors do not use a napkin to pick up the cone. They more often do it with their bare hands, and it's not unusual to see them stick their fingers into cone to pick it up. How stupid do you have to be to know that this unsanitary. Since I usually don't have the courage to scold them for their lack of good hygiene, I am more likely to order a dish of ice cream when I really want a cone. The ultimate experience of this repulsive habit was a while back when I went to TCBY. The young man behind the counter obviously had a cold, judging from his sniffing. He asked me what I wanted, then ran his hand through his luxuriant and greasy hair. I decided nothing and left.

Separated at birth?

I was watching a film called Cairo tonight, which featured some great musical numbers with Ethel Waters. But she kept reminding me of someone else. And I finally figured out who it was.

One place that really sucks.

There are many places in America that are populated with stupid people. They are called Red States. And while they also contain intelligent residents, most residents are bigoted and backward morons. It's very sad. Most of these brain-challenged people live in the South, though Texas (which really doesn't belong anywhere) can claim a great many of them.  But is there one place in United States where you will find the most ignorant Americans of all? Yes. They live in Minnesota's 6th congressional district, and more than once they have won the distinction of being the dumbest dodos in the country. These people are so thick that keep electing a demented Congresswoman who doesn' even know to whom she is married.

Older not smarter.

It's very hard not to feel sorry for those elderly people who are taken in by telephone scammers and lose their life savings. It's also very had not to be furious with them for being so gullible and stupid. What's not hard is to detest and despise these verminous creatures that engage in such scams and have no human emotions whatsoever. I hope that every young person tells their parents or grandparents that if somebody wants even a dime to award you a prize or send you cash winnings, it's a scam. Hang up.

Time will tell.

I like Chris Matthews. But he can go way overboard about all the wrong people. There was a time when he was kvelling about how vibrant, exciting, dynamic and important Sarah Palin was. Right now he's all atwitter about the new pope. He proclaims Pope Francis a man of the people, a humble servant of god, a great symbol for the Catholic Church. Of course he doesn't mention that hes anti-gay marriage, anti-abortion, anti-birth control and anti many other things that many Catholics are for. He doesn't mention that there are serious questions about the new pope's past during Argentina's military dictatorship. I suspect this pope will not enjoy this kind of adoration for long. But for now Chris is burbling, giggling, gleeful and goofy.

Note: On the ABC news tonight they showed the slum where Francis walked before he was a pope, where he wore out his shoes. So now that he's pope, will he release some of the Vatican's billions to give the people of this slum something more than a blessing?

This was God's plan?

Nothing exemplifies how lazy the broadcast medium has gotten than this non-stop coverage of the new Pope. We who are not Roman Catholic couldn't care less which old parasite they put into the office.But it saves the networks  having to deal with real news when they can cover all these old queens marching through the Vatican, create a pseudo suspense about black or white smoke, and speculate where the next pope will come from. In the meantime, while they are obsequiously and reverential covering this non-event, they do mention that the new pope is anti-gay and every bit as bigoted and narrow as everyone who came before him. And don't expect any serious coverage about the obscene wealth of the church, the fortune in artworks that remain in the basement, the endless sex scandals, the politics involved, and maybe even why the old pope turned in his tiara. News is no longer news. It's finding something easy to cover and covering is ad infinitum. So it seems the new pope is an Argentinian. Well, golly gee, imagine that. I wonder how long it will be before the skeletons start falling out of the closet and the networks make that the new non-stop coverage.

Note: All these old men have avoided real work and lived off the Roman Catholic church most of their lives. Many have had sex with young boys and girls without any punishment. They have servants. They dine on gourmet meals. They live in splendid quarters. They travel free. They are misogynists and bigots. And without having any true world experience they think they know best how the faithful should live their lives. It's time Roman Catholic realize just how much they have been taken by these
freeloaders in ball gowns.

Dumb and dumber.

In case you had any doubt that John Bohner and Mitch McConnell are complete assholes: childish, petty, peevish, spiteful and stupid, remember this news item I saw tonight. Months back Obama had a screening of Lincoln at the White House. At the screening were all the stars of the film as well as Steven Spielberg. Obviously a night to which anyone  would love to be invited. Boehner and McConnell, however, declined the invitation showing what raging and petty idiots they are. I'm sure the guests that did attend didn't miss the company of the terrapin-faced McConnell nor the sour-pussed lush Boehner, but one wonders how their wives felt about missing this glamorous star-studdent event.

"Oh, my god, a woman, an actual woman!"

AS  a gay man, the thing I find most fascinating about many straight men is how they react on seeing a beautiful woman. First of all the world is full of beautiful women. I see them every day at Starbucks, on the street, during their lunch hours. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, tall, petite, attractive. I mean it's not rare. Then why do so many men on observing a beautiful women act as if they've never seen one before?  Can they really be that instantly amazed and surprised?  Or is all an act to prove to other men that they are, indeed, straight. I see men on dates ogling a passing female and think what rude dunderheads they are to be so neglectful of the woman they are with. As someone who appreciates attractive men, I don't go limp-jawed for every Adonis nor do any of my gay friends. The world is full of attractive people. There's really no need to lose your head when you see one. Another will be along shortly.

24 million to one.

What could be sadder than the people of North Korea. They are often hungry, poor, have no freedom, and—despite all their deprivations—are forced to pretend they adore and worship this fat little pig, Kim Jong Un, who so horribly oppresses them. On the news I saw soldiers rushing into the sea supposedly to be close to their hero, but more likely to look loyal and live a little longer. How satisfying it would be see to see these people rise up against such a horrible dictatorship. I don't see why they wouldn't. What have they got to lose? If this porker bombs any other country with a nuclear device, then North Korea is  likely to get blown off the face of the earth. Why risk it? Eliminate the troublemaker while there's still time.

Two of a kind.

There has been a lot of talk about Jeb Bush running for President in 2016. I didn't have any thoughts about it one way or another. I know he's supposed to be smarter than his brother George, but then who isn't?  Even my cat Skipper has a higher I.Q. than Dubya.. Some people told me that Jeb was a good governor of Florida.  I don't know about that. He certainly didn't reduce the enormous taxes we have crushing us every year or bitch slap Citizens who creates such inflated rates. Then I heard that he was sane and reasonable and honest and would make a good president despite the cursed name Bush. Then yesterday I saw him on television, his face with that dumb Bush expression, his body bigger than two-and-a-half Shrubs, and his main comment as deceitful as anything his moronic, mass-murdering brother ever said. He burbled that Obama had been voted in as President because he divided the country. That was all I needed to hear to know this buffoon got off on the wrong foot. He knows very well that it was Republicans who divided the country with their lies, misogyny, racial slurs, Hispanic prejudices and moronic candidates. If Jeb Bush has started out with a single truth I might have had some respect for him, but he's same kind of mendacious asshole as everyone in the Bush family and the GOP.

Is it just me?

I think Jody Arias whose Arizona trial for murder is such an event on cable tv looks remarkably like the female impersonator on Little Britain—the bureaucratic hospital worker who frequently and famously says, "The computer says 'no'".

Missing.

In sports, there are winners and losers. In seasons, there are winters and summers. Yet nobody ever says that a certain team was the winter of the world series or that a good tennis player is a frequent winter. Yet millions speak of winner sports, their winner wardrobe and their winner vacation. Even most announcers on tv fail to pronounce the t in winter that is, yes is, pronounced. Why? Is it too much work? Does one's tongue refuse to make the added effort necessary to add that tiny sound? And does the same problem exist with hundreds of other words, thus creating the Atlannic ocean, celebrity innaviews, gigannic ships, Sanna Claus and the ever-popular dennist. Language is music. You wouldn't leave out a note in a song, so why leave a sound out of a word? I don't get it.

Note: Cliche meets ignorance. Today, at least two tv reporters in Miami referred to the Budweiser Clydesdales, who are visiting Miami, as gennel giants.

Comcast sucks.

Every now and then we have to put up with a service we hate because we're pretty sure the competing service isn't any better. In my case it's Comcast. I detest Comcast. I think it's too expensive and too full of problems. This weekend alone they screwed up my tv service. I spent a half-an-hour on the phone, first with a technician full of attitude, and then a charmingly incompetent manager After he had allegedly straightened out my account and given me a new (and more costly) package with an appealing  bonus feature, I thought I was done. The next day, I found I did not have the bonus feature, but he had inadvertently changed my telephone number of 15 years so nobody could reach me. To straighten that out, I went through three—count them three—irritating calls to Comcast. They lost me on two of them. The third person finally solved the problem. That bonus feature that seemed so appealing never did appear on my cable. I'd call to ask why, but I'm sure if I did, someone at Comcast would screw up my phone, my cable or my computer.I'm tempted to switch to ATT, but I'm sure they're just as greedy and incompetent. It seems to go with the cable industry.

People I'd like to sic a dog on.

Here's the kind of person I don't like at all. He or she is the owner of a dog or cat who goes missing. They are heartbroken so they post "missing" animals signs all over the neighborhood. Animal lovers like me on seeing them are distressed. The poor pet. Where can it be? Cold and hungry? Or in a shelter without any identification? Or, worse, in a hospital lab? We worry and we're watchful, hoping we'll find this poor creature and return it to the safety of its home. And while we worry over this animal, it has been found by some diligent neighbor or has returned on its own But does the pet owner remove the signs? No. That would be too much effort. So for several weeks, until the weather destroys the signs pet lovers worry needlessly over an animal that is no longer missing. Such owners are inconsiderate jerks.

Reminder of an unarmed robber.

20 Quilting and Craft Safety Pins   Publix $1.49     Walgreen's  $3.49

What is the third character?

Of all the annoyances of the modern world, nothing is more maddening than these so-called "captcha" codes. Half the time they are unreadable. Often it is not even possible to type in the undecipherable symbols presented. And most infuriating of all is when you have thoughtfully typed your entire complaint or comment, then mistype the captcha only to see your entire text disappear. Who is the idiot who created this absurd process for detecting non-humans and why do so many companies subscribe to it when it is sure to make their customers detest them?