Ring. Ring.

I just got a Robocall from Mitt Romney encouraging me to fill out my absentee ballot which he says should have arrived in the mail. I never received such a ballot. I have, however, received dozens of calls from the Republican party spewing propaganda and inviting me to rallies, etc. I find this odd and stupid of them because I am a registered Democrat. What makes it even stupider is that weeks back a living Republican (is there such a thing?) started her spiel when I told her, "I am not a Republican. Romney is a raging asshole. And I wish the hell you'd take me off your call list." Her pissy response was that she would be delighted to do so. But, how nice to know that Romney has such incompetent aides because she never did and the calls kept coming. I gotta tell you. I think I'm going to miss listening to those pathetic little attempts to convince me that this compulsive liar should be president.

Why Romney must lose.

If Romney wins it means that America is not the world's greatest nation but the stupidest. It means we are like the population of a western town in the 1800s eager to believe that the elixir the snake oil salesman is pushing really does cure anything. It means that we have a super high tolerance for lies. It means that women really are the weaker sex, gullibly willing to support someone who so obviously doesn't support them. It means that African Americans have made no progress at all when an obvious racist can wiggle his way into the presidency. It means that money equals power and democracy has no actual value when pitted against cold cash. It means we can no longer judge character when someone as decent, honest, and hardworking as Obama loses to someone as pampered, privileged and mendacious as Romney. It means we don't learn from our mistakes when we elect an uberBush to  run the country using the same failed thinking that drove us into an economical ditch.  It means we don't give a damn what the rest of the world thinks of us when we toss away all the goodwill we have gained in the past four years. It means that we are a war-loving nation because Romney is sure to rush into battle at the first opportunity. And it mean ultimately that we are not only stupid but lazy because there is no question that most of America prefers the sanity and goodness of Obama and Biden over the shallow shells that are Romney and Ryan, so the only way Barack could lose is if Americans were too damn lazy to get out and vote.

America's worst product

I'm willing to admit that it may be my fault, but the worst product I have purchased in recent years are Nexcare bandages. These are diamond-shaped bandages with a partial paper covering which is supposed to peel off once you have applied the bandages. It didn't work for me, and I had wads of sticky and unusable bandage lumps before I successfully applied any one of these irritating and expensive bandages. I'm not even sure why they felt they had to reinvent a perfectly good product but they did. I wish readers could figure out how to write to my blog as I would love to know if anyone else has ever had a problem with this damn product or is only me.

Two Toms

The phrase "Uncle Tom" has become an epithet for a person who is slavish and excessively subservient to perceived authority figures, particularly a black person who behaves in a subservient manner to white people; or any person perceived to be a participant in the oppression of their own group. The negative epithet is the result of later works derived from the original novel.

Note: This was an easy post to because all I had to was copy the definition of "Uncle Tom" from Wikipedia. I did not however use bold type and could not remove it. I did italicize the section that I felt was most significant. 

A Lamb to slaughter.

It seems to me that every year there are lots of murders that go completely unpunished. And many of them are committed by police officers.  The latest was in South Carolina in which a 28-year-old pregnant woman, Lacey Lamb, was shot to death by a police officer during a traffic stop. His reason, which is one of the most common given in these cases, is that she was trying to run him down with her car. This would suggest to me that those in law enforcement don't have good reflexes if they can't get out of the way of a moving car and also that they waste an awful lot of time at target practice when it seems their only ability is shooting to kill, never to disarm or wound. (He didn't shoot out her tires. He didn't shoot her in the shoulder. He shot her in the head.) Neighbors of the murder victim claim there was no justification for this killing, but I'm sure their word will have no value and this policeman will go unpunished as so many trigger-happy cops do every year. While I have great respect for the majority of those in the nation's police departments, I still believe that it is a profession that attracts a lot of social misfits and hotheads. In many cases I am sure these deadly shootings are basically the cop saying, "How dare you defy my authority." Another aspect of this story is this: I wonder if any of the Republican politicians, who constantly proclaim their eagerness to protect unborn children, will even raise his voice about this unnecessary murder of mother and child. I doubt it.

Note: While not as disturbing as the story above, this week two friends of mine each received a traffic ticket from two different cops. In each case the officer was arrogant, hostile and sarcastic. Why? It's a traffic ticket.

A crappie sport.

I only know one person who "goes fishin'", and I really don't know him: He's the husband of a friend. In my 70 years I've never had a relative or a friend who went fishing. I don't recall ever working with anyone who went on a fishing trip. But, based on television commercials, one would think that fishing is the most popular pastime in America. Every headache remedy, pharmaceutical, car model, and beer has someone fishing, often with their grandchildren. It is always portrayed as charming, harmless, harmonica-accompanied pleasure performed by decent, honest God-and-family people. This despite the fact that their joy is in driving a sharp hook into the mouth of a living creature then yanking it out of the water and tossing it onto a deck or into a basket where it pathetically gasps for breath until it dies. Of course they would never see it this way, which is why they love fishing so much. I'm so glad I don't know anyone who goes fishing.

I dinnent get the memo.

I am totally supportive of teachers, but I must ask this question: Do they teach students diction anymore?  It is driving me mad that the words shouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't, and didn't are no longer properly enunciated by many young people and a few older ones. I constantly hear shoonent, woonent, coonent and dinnent, which sounds horrible to me. Where did this begin? With the Valley Girl accent?
Right now on the TV is a teen who managed to get Billy Idol to sing at his birthday party. He's a smart kid, yet he keeps saying dinnent instead of didn't. Why?

A medical mishap.

I am always amazed at the misuse of a word in a commercial or a film. It seems to me that there are always enough people around to assure someone will know the correct use or pronunciation. But that isn't always the case. Either nobody knows or the person who does is too timid to speak up. I saw the most blatant example of this recently in a TV show I thought I would hate, but find quite entertaining:Diagnosis Murder. In Season 5 of the series, Episode 13 titled "Retribution"two murders were committed using binary poison, that is two elements reacting to each other to cause death. But in the first part of this two-part episode the main character Dr. Sloane played by Dick Van Dyke and everyone else in the cast kept saying "Biniary" poison, which I felt certain was incorrect, which it was. Still the episode was released with that blatant error. In the conclusion of the episode, I noticed that everyone was now clearly saying "binary". What amazes me is that this is a medical show with a large cast and nobody caught this obvious mispronunciation. I would love to know the back story of this little slip-up.

It's possible.

I had an optimistic thought today. It's really a variation of a theory I have held for a few years. I believe that many Republican-oppressed women tell their husbands they plan to vote GOP, but do the opposite once they are in the voting booth and out of his control. This is a comforting thought since I can't imagine why I see so many woman at Romney rallies. Are they insane?  Can they not see how little respect and regard Romney has for their opinions and their rights? But isn't it just possible that they are at the rally with their husbands, being the agreeable mate, the obedient wife, the cheering pretender when all the time they know they have no intentions of voting for this pathological liar? And since many married people don't communicate very well at all, it's even possible that hubby, believing his wife to be a zealous Romney fan is planning the same voting booth reversal. I can dream, can't I?

A creature to avoid.

This is a photo of a 73-year-old piece of human excrement called a sununu. It's ugly. It stinks. And any person with a sensitive gag reflex should avoid going anywhere near it. When it opens its maw, it spews filth. Knowing how disagreeable it is to others, it takes its only pleasure in being as repulsive as possible. Its jealousy, especially about attractive, intelligent people like Barack Obama knows no limits. When it attacks them, it manages to be even more malodorous and repugnant. Republicans without a well-developed sense of smell have been able to work near this pile of offal and often use it to repel any truth that might put them in danger. While always digusting. lately this large and offensive mound has begun emitting more lies and producing an even more intolerable stink.

"Tell me how you met my daddy."

In all these discussions about rape, Republicans act as if the only women who are raped are unmarried. Of course this is absurd. Married women are also attacked and raped. So their argument that a women who is raped must give birth to the rapist's child becomes twice as absurd when you consider the husband. It's insane to think that any woman should be forced to give birth to a child that is the result of a violent act against her. Are we also saying her husband should welcome the child into the world, help pay its expenses, brag about its accomplishments and put it through college?  Are we saying he should forget that this is not his child, but that of a violent man who attacked his wife and love it as his own? That is asking a lot of any person. Any child born of rape is going to carry a stigma. Even if the mother comes to love it, will the husband, the family? And how will the child feel when he learns—and he or she probably will—that they are the result of an attack on their mother? That life begins at conception is madness, yet another attempt for Republicans to push their religious beliefs on all of America. That a woman should give birth to a rapist's child is insanity. But then these Republicans don't care what emotional and economical trials such a birth brings to the parent or parents. They can just sanctimoniously feel they have won a victory that they really didn't even care about, other than the winning.

Note: The asshole who said that rape is something god intended, Richard Mourdock, apparently won't be affected by the problem stated above since it seems this 60-year-old is a "bachelor". At least I couldn't find any reference to a wife on the internet. I wonder why his marital status isn't even mentioned on the internet. I guess he just never met the right girl, or doesn't "like" women in ever sense sense of the word.

A dedication to dummies.

This song is dedicated to all those moronic, wishy-washy, mercurial, flip-flopping nitwits who haven't made up their minds as to whom they plan to vote for in the presidential election.

Zanies and zealots.

Now that it's nearly Halloween, you know what I find really scary? Putting your faith in all the wrong places.  For instance on this morning's network news (I don't know which one; They're all the same) they did a feature on Obama and Romney's campaign workers. There was a young woman working for Romney who seemed intelligent, but she was working for Romney: How intelligent could she be?  So there she is laboring night and day for a man who regards her as a second-class citizen and is eager to abolish many of her rights. And she's just one of the brainwashed automatons working for Romney. On the same show was Rachel Held Evans, an evangelical Christian writer, who spent a year of her life living according to biblical teachings. She was so zealous in this pursuit that she moved out of the house and into a tent during her period, and for a while called her husband master. As you know I find all religions absurd, so while this woman seems intelligent, I can only consider her an evangelical nutcase. That people still cling to magical thinking in 2012 is really disturbing. So what do I find scary? People who seem normal but are doing things that prove they don't have a real grasp on reality. It wouldn't be scary if were only these Romney campaign workers and bible-believing zealots,  but it seems to be an affliction among millions of people in America, and it could result in Romney as president and eventually all of us being forced to live by that outdated work of fiction, the bible.

Note: You will observe that Ms. Evans, while eager to live by biblical teacings has made excellent use of modern day makeup for this publicity shot. I think the ancients would have called her a Jezebel.

Note: I completely believe that Jesus existed and taught peace and tolerance, avoiding greed and caring for the poor.  His miracles, however, are part of the fiction of the bible. Since so many Christians vote Republican, a party that's contrary to most of the teachings of Christ, and since so many are anti-gay, which Christ would never have been, I suspect my belief in Christ far exceeds that of most so-called Christians.

Really big lies!

The scummy and deceitful Republicans, knowing they cannot win this election, are creating situations across the country designed to suppress the vote. Among their devious ploys are billboards like this designed to frighten lower income people, notably African Americans and Latinos. Another ploy is advertising that suggests that persons can vote by phone, which, of course, they can't; or need a certain form of i.d. which they don't. What's most disturbing is that these deceptive practices are from many businessmen and lawmakers who would describe themselves as true Americans and yet their goal is to corrupt one of our greatest freedoms. I consider this kind of behavior treasonous, but apparently it doesn't outrage so-called respectable Republicans as much as it should. It's also a shame that billboard companies are even willing to accept such dishonest and unAmerican promotions. Every city has its taggers. As distasteful as I find graffiti, I fervently hope that many of these billboards are soon spray painted with the word: Lie!

Note: Seems that graffiti wasn't necessary. These controversial billboards in Ohio and Wisconsin were taken down following complains from community organizations that they were intended to suppress votes (duh). The anonymous group behind the billboards chose to remove them rather than crawl out from under their rock and face the light of day. Jim Cullinan, a spokesman for Clear Channel Outdoor, the company that owns the billboards and sold the ad space is trying to look like a reasonable human being, despite the fact that he was amoral enough to sell the space in the first place.

A major sign of change.

Reader's Digest, which for decades had a deserved reputation for being very ultraconservative has changed. While I used to read it only for the humor sections, now I find it interesting because it features monthly articles like "50 Secrets Surgeons Won't Tell You". This series also has included nurses, dentists, Realtors, etc. Sadly the humor has gone way downhill lately, and either the jokes are lame or their editors are so young they don't recognize an ancient joke when they see it. Now it's worth reading for its informational articles, consumer tips,  health advice, and often-impressive visuals. But what surprised and impressed me most about Reader's Digest was a book excerpt in their October issue: What Remains by Nate Berkus. This digested version tells the harrowing story of a couple who vacationed in Sri Lanka and were swept up by the tsunami. Sadly one of the lovers was assumed to have died since his body was never found. This true story was romantic, charming, disturbing and sad. But what was amazing is that it was about two men, and it was written as it would be about any straight couple. This is progress. It would be progress with any magazine, but that it was in Reader's Digest is even better.

Of needles and camels.

The media seems to be giddy this morning over the success of last night's  Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation dinner in Manhattan. Then why do I find the whole affair repulsive? As you probably know this annual and traditional event is hosted by the Archdiocese of New York and attended by many of the nation's most prominent Catholic citizens and clergy. Prominent in this case means wealthy. I am always offended by spoiled,meddlling—and often corpulent—clergy with Republican pals who, instead of doing "God's work" are helping millionaires make deals, trying to set government policy, dining in costly restaurants, drinking expensive wine and living the high life while many of their parishioners are going hungry. And while events like this allegedly raise millions for Catholic charities, they are still just another excuse for a wildly expensive night out. Then, of course, there are the speeches. Both Romney and Obama, according to the elated news sources, did well with the quips. The suggestion from many is that Romney's speech made him more likable. I don't think the detestable Romney or the affable Obama should be judged on how well they delivered a speech and jokes that somebody else wrote. But then the lazy and gullible media doesn't consider any of this. It's much easier to show clips of the jokes and report what a successful evening it was rather than to consider the ugly underpinnings of Plutocratic dinners like this. 

"I scream. You scream. We all scream..."

it's possible this commercial is true, but I don't believe a word of it. I mean I believe the Intuit product exists, but who are these people who have an ice cream shop and then take off in a truck and head south because of the warmer weather? How do they preserve their first location? Are they paying rent when they're not there? How complicated is it to get licenses in all these new states? Aren't they competing with other trucks that already had those routes? Isn't ice cream presented from a truck different from the products one gets in a much larger store? And, do that many people really charge their credit cards for ice cream cones? I suppose they probably do with the rip-off prices that cones and sundaes sell for these days. Finally, coming from Boston, I don't think ice cream has a season. After all that city had Brighams, Baileys, and many other purveyors of ice cream. There was a ice cream parlor every few blocks and they were busy even in the coldest weather. Do supermarkets toss out all their ice cream with the arrival of winter? Of course not.  I know this commercial is about  people who sell ice cream, but to me it seems more like baloney.

He'ssssss back!

The great news is that we saw a fiery, feisty, fearless Obama show up for the second Presidential Debate and defeat a defensive, breathless Romney. And while Mitt wasn't ineffective, he was no competition for the President. Obama easily scored high in all areas and defended all the absurd accusations thrown at him. He remained calm, charming and clear-headed while Romney seemed agitated, accusatory and, as usual, petulant. It was a great moment when Candy Crowley pronounced Romney mistaken when he denied that Obama had described the the raid on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi "an attack of terror"from the very beginning.  As the cameras patrolled the after-debate crowd, Romney did not look particularly happy in any shot, while Obama looked flush with victory. To this Democrat the evening was a triumph. I am only left with one perplexing question, which I will  ask by paraphrasing Bill Maher: Who the hell are these idiots who are still undecided in October? Unless they don't watch the news or read the newspaper, they must be complete imbeciles to still not have a clear idea for whom they plan to vote. To program an entire debate around them seems insane to me, but who cares since Obama came out the winner?

Romney, the ribbon cutter.

The know-it-all pundits are saying that Obama must win over women tonight, especially the undecided voters. What I wonder is how stupid does any woman have to be to vote for Mitt Romney who so painfully obviously has very little regard for women and feels he should dictate how they run their their lives and their health? All over America woman have passionately worn the pink ribbon and marched for breast cancer awareness. Now the suggestion seems to be that many of those same woman plan to vote for Mitt and Paul. Does it occur to them that when Mitt states he plans to get rid of Planned Parenthood, that would include Planned Parenthood's low-cost and often free cancer screenings for millions of women. Which means that if a woman without health insurance has breast cancer, she may not even know it until it's too late.

Who's really the ditsiest?

Tonight Ann Coulter was a guest on Bill Maher's show Real Time. As usual she was dressed in a cocktail dress inappropriate for her aging body, crepy chest, and increasing saggy bosom. Her hair was, of course, long and bleached, and hanging loosely in a style far too young for a 51 year-old harridan. She quickly began to promote her newest book whose title (sure to be an dishonest attack on Democrats) I have forgotten. One watches this absurd caricature of a woman and wonders if she believes half the things she says. She must not since she is friendly with Bill Maher. I used to find her annoying now I realize she is just a pathetic stand-up comic without a stage. My partner watching with me said, "You know who Ann Coulter is? She's just a political Charo." He meant she's just an over-the-top personality,  invited on shows to make outrageous statements and then give a look that's supposed to inspire some kind of reaction. I can see his point, except for one thing. I like Charo.

Funny is funny.

I don't understand why the Republicans are so disturbed and surprised by Joe Biden laughing during last night's Vice Presidential Debate. People have always laughed at hilariously funny material. And you've go to admit that most of Paul Ryan's comments were incredibly comical.

"Handsome is as handsome does."

Why does the media keep describing this guy as handsome? True he's tall and dark and in good shape, but unless you're blind you have to admit he's kind of creepy looking. Yes, he has big blue eyes, but they are more like a bloodhound's than a heartthrob's. It's no coincidence that so many people describe him as an adult Eddie Munster. So, sorry, the media is wrong. Then, of course, they always credit him with having a six-pack, which he does not have. Paul Ryan is not handsome. He's ordinary to peculiar-looking. And his black heart doesn't add to his appeal, but rather gives him that cold, fish-eyed look that people without compassion often evince.

It's not that complicated.

A store sells its products every day.
Some stores offer everyday low prices.
The everyday in the second sentence is an adjective, you know, like "low". This is a very simple grammar rule, yet dozens of leading companies can't seem to reason it out. Today I was at Ross and their wall banners proclaimed, "Ross offers low prices everyday". Wrong. This CVS commercial, which is probably running nationwide proclaims "flu shots everyday". Wrong. It should be "flu shots every day". Companies like CVS pay ad agencies big bucks to create commercials like these. They're only 30-seconds long. You'd think they could get them right.

Please not again.

Every now and then you see a commercial for the first time, which you hope you never see again. But, sadly, you know you will. This plug for V8 is one of the most annoying spots in a universe of annoying commercials. Wow! You shoulda had another concept.

The nonexistent 30-second Factoid Channel.

If it existed, I'd be more than happy to pay for the Factoid Channel. This 24 hour a day outlet shows thousands of 30-second factoids on an endless variety of subjects: art, history, literature, science, sports, chemistry, every conceivable subject. It is the channel you would switch to with your remote every time a commercial appeared on the program you were watching, and while that station was running—these days—dozens of commercials, you could be improving your knowledge with a wide variety of entertaining facts. If for instance you were watching, to my mind, the worst commercial offender The Big Bang Theory, you could be learning about the actual Big Bang theory or Babe Ruth's baseball record or where George Gershwin was born or when Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address. And when you returned to your program, you'd be that much smarter. Unfortunately such a channel doesn't exist, so the best I can do is mute the thousands of commercials I am forced to watch every week. Still I'd rather learn about the origins of the Purple Heart than hear ,again and again and again,  about  the side effects of the healing purple pill.

Note: The instructional video above would be just one example of the kind of 30-second spot you might see on the Factoid Channel. But this advice on how to put out a kitchen fire might immediately be followed information on the ancient custom of tossing a living wife on her husband's funeral pyre or
a recipe for chocolate chip cookies.

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist

 I think I posted this before, a while ago. But in case I didn't, here it is. One of the funniest and most effective commercials I've ever seen. It's so rare that anyone gets their message across so perfectly and with such brilliant humor.

Credits.

Tonight I saw a very good movie, 1942's Son of Fury. It sounds like it should be about a horse, but it wasn't. It was a costume epic that took place, oddly enough, in London and the South Seas. Talk about a gorgeous cast. This film had Tyrone Power, Frances Farmer, and Gene Tierney. Wow. It was very entertaining with some fantastic fight scenes.  But this post is not about the movie itself, but about the credits. When the movie was over, there was a roll of the cast. In large type. Moving slowly. Giving  each player the proper credit and allowing the viewer to know who played who (or is it whom?). This is how it should be. Today's credits are ludicrous. For starters, there are too many. Do we really need to know who provided the food service? the transportation? the lighting?  No. We do like to know who's who in the cast, but even that speeds by so fast and is often in such small type, it might as well not be included at all. I don't know what person, union, or slighted individual devised this new system that gives a plug to every minor contributor to the film, but it's totally asinine. Ah, to go back to providing credits the way they did in Son of Fury.

Note: I couldn't find any visual of the credits from this
film or anything simillar so you will just have to look at these two beautiful stars from Son of Fury.

A dull night in Denver.

Just watched the debate, which was incredibly dull. Neither Romney and Obama delivered any zingers, memorable lines, or new information. And there was no clear winner.  Mitt, however, was surprisingly good.  Why? Because his handlers obviously told him to mirror Obama's reasonable attitude. At every point Romney swore he was going to maintain the same kind of fairness that Obama promotes. In short, he spent 90 minutes lying through his teeth. His comments were as phony as his hair, which has gone overnight from black with greying temples to fashionably streaked black and grey. This from a man who swears he never dyes his hair. But then nothing about Romney is true or real. I have a horror that the idiotic and lazy media will give this fraud  the role of winner tomorrow which is completely unfair since all he did was what he always does: says what people want to hear. If he were elected president, which is possible, none of what he promised will come true and we will have to survive—if we can—another Bush-like error. This time instead of having the hawkish Cheney as VP, we'll have the unctuous benefit-slicing Paul Ryan. The debate was a joke and Jim Lehrer was as bad a moderator as one could have. No mention of the Mitt's 47% speech, which is incredibly significant in this race as we could elect a president who has nothing but disdain for almost half the country. Despite the hopes of every Democrat, Obama was not very impressive during this debate. He spent too much time looking down at the floor, frowning, and directing his comments at Lehrer. He was often dull and too detailed about his plans. And for some bizarre reason his lectern was placed sideways showing him full-bodied while Romney stood behind his lectern (which everyone insists on calling podiums). But Obama is still a great and honest president and the man America needs for its future. Let us hope the lazy media doesn't screw it up tomorrow giving Romney more credit than he deserves forgetting all his past gaffes, flip-flops, misspeaks and incurable cold-heartedness.

Note: Just as I thought the lazy media was falling all over itself declaring Romney the winner. But, fortunately, many reporters pointed out that almost everything Romney said was completely fallacious. So the question is: Can anyone actually be a winner if everything they said was untrue? Is a cheater ever an actually a winner?

"Yes, Virginia there are real life harpies."

The Republican Party has the most peculiar breed of woman They are generally joyless, angry, petulant, and liars. More often than not they are attractive, probably because they have so much money to spend on their clothes, hair and beauty treatments. Among those who are unattractive is Barbara Comstock. This delusional delegate in the Virgina House of Representatives has the  kind of goofy-faced pastiness which defies cosmetics and can't be hidden by a costly coiffure.  This, I think,  is what makes her especially toxic and excessively deceitful. I just watched her arguing with Soledad O'Brien, whom I consider an excellent interviewer. Barbara Comstock, another obvious racist, cheerfully tossed out a confetti of lies, and did what most GOP broads do--lots of toothy grinning. This seems to be one of the major weapons in their arsenal of deceit: the suggestion that the interviewer is always mistaken in their well-researched data. But this behavior by Comcstock shouldn't surprise anyone. This harridan was described as "almost unhinged" by critics in her obsessive and futile Whitewater investigative efforts against the Clinton's and her hatred of Hillary. One wonders what makes these creatures so bitter and humorless and so defensive of the indefensible Republican Party. One clue seems to be that when they are defending the fables of the party leaders,  even at Miss Cosmetic's age of 53, they always seem like petulant little girls shouting, "My daddy is never wrong."

New theatre company opens with a clash of titans.

One of the great pairings in theatrical history was between Stella Adler and Marlon Brando. Though Brando studied with the great acting guru only one year—between 1943 and 1944—it was a powerful confluence of two major talents, each making the other even more of a legend. When Adler was asked if she recognized Marlon's talent from the beginning, she said "No".  Regardless she was a major force in revealing his brilliance and accelerating his career. Did their relationship go beyond that? Nobody know for sure. But now theatergoers can appreciate the kind of dynamics that may have occurred with a mesmerizing new play The Acting Lesson at New York's Legacy Stage Ensemble. This two-character play by Wesley St. John provides the audience with everything that makes great theater: love, hate, regret, suspicion, jealousy, and twist after emotional twist.  The players—no, combatants—are a brutish young yacht captain/hustler, who aspires to act, and a Manhattan's leading drama teacher, a bitter pessimist who recognizes the potential of his brooding charisma.The Acting Lesson is the first production of this new theater company, and they're off to a powerful start. Director Laurie Rae Waugh has found the perfect pairing in Kitty Hendrix and Joshuah Patriarco, and having found it has created one of the tensest productions of the year—one that left this writer feeling completely out of breath, after having done nothing but watch the fireworks during a special preview.  I highly recommend this play to any of my friends or fans who are in New York between October 10-21. For tickets priced far below Broadway productions that don't deliver anywhere near as much impact, call 212-868-4444.

The Baltimore Mystery

Since Baltimore was the home of Edgar Allan Poe, many mysteries were created there, including The Telltale Heart, The Pit and the Pendulum, and the Fall of the House of Usher. Unfortunately my mystery doesn't compare in any way to Mr. Poe's brilliant themes. In fact it's about as pedestrian a mystery as you can imagine. Still it intrigues me, and nobody has provided an explanation during my three visits to this fascinating city. Why does it intrigue me? Because it involves a situation that I have not encountered in any other city. And when I mention it to anyone in Baltimore, they look at me as if I were peculiar to even wonder about the mystery. What is it? Simply this: That in almost all  of the restaurants and coffee shops I patronized in Baltimore, there was no cream or half-and-half. What there was instead was Cremora. While this coffee whitener is acceptable in an emergency, it is no way compares to natural coffee creamers since it has its own distinctive and not totally pleasant flavor. It is a substitute the screams, "cheap and vulgar" and I can't imagine why any reputable restaurant would serve it, much less dozens of restaurants to the exclusion of anything better. I like Baltimore. I like its architecture and its people, it's waterfront and such fascinating neighborhoods as Fells Point. But I really hate it when I can't get cream or at least half-and-half for my coffee and nobody in Charm City can tell me why.