Do you know this man?

This is Marvin Odum, the 53 year-old president of Shell Oil. He is one of the executives who is making obscene amounts of money on your need for gasoline and your complete ignorance as to how much it should cost. You're having a hard time paying to fill your tank. He couldn't care less. Nor could any of the other executives who run these incredibly wealthy companies and take home astronomical bonuses. They are all greedy pigs who have hoodwinked you for ages by buying off their Republican friends, finding all kinds of tax loopholes, and laughing their asses off at all the government giveaways they receive. And one of the reasons they get away with it is you continue to allow them to be invisible. My advice to the American motorist is don't just grumble. Find out who is screwing you over and shout out their names. And why not start with Marvin?

Poisoned Rice.

I am very bothered to hear that Condoleeza Rice plays Jack Donagy's ex-girlfriend on "30 Rock". Does anybody remember that she was a great supporter of warmonger, George Bush? Does anybody recall that she ignored a terrorism threat that, had she paid attention, might have saved the lives or limbs of thousands? Does anybody recall that she was in the gang of eager hawks who plunged us into the Iraq War? If anything, she should be ostracized, vilified and maybe even jailed. But America, ever the forgetful and forgiving fool, instead features her on a popular television show and reviews her performance as if she were some respectable actress rather than a war criminal. I am very disappointed in NBC, the cast and crew of 30 Rock and, most of all, Alec Baldwin. I am also amazed, once again, at how weird Chris Matthews can be.. He was practically giddy praising "Condi's" performance, which was amateur at best. Obviously she is not as good at delivering lines as she is at delivering young Americans into deadly fields of battle.

The fearsome side of funny.

I don't get dirty comedy acts. That is to say I don't get filthy comedy acts, you know like the Friar's Club roasts. I don't really understand why audience find really crude, vulgar, angry sexual and scatalogical jokes so hysterically funny. I don't think I'm prudish, but maybe I am. But I'm not the least bit interested in anyone's else bathroom habits and and can't comprehend why people find other people's excrement in jokes so hilarious when they wouldn't want to be confronted with it in life. I just picked up a book from the Barnes and Noble bargain table. It was a collection of Friars' Club jokes, including lines from roasts. I must admit I read it. Not with prurient interest, but with surprise at just how crude the humor of today's comics can be. While some were amusing, most were kind of sickening and dehumanizing. The ones that were about urine, excrement, flatulence and incontinence suggested comics who were never properly toilet trained or so ashamed of their bodily functions that they need constant exorcisms. The ones that were about sex suggested a sophomoric naivete, a deep shame about eroticism, homophobia, or a pathetic inability to get it up. The saddest thing is that these are smart, funny, intelligent people, people I like, like: Joy Behar, BIll Maher, Lewis Black and Jerry Stiller. You wouldn't think they would need the cheap laugh, but apparently they do. Or perhaps they are victims of ever increasingly lowbrow audiences who no longer appreciate sharp humor, wit, or anything that requires an intelligent point of reference. What I hate most about this epidemic of bathroom and sex humor is it leaves you with the impression that, given the opportunity, everyone is ultimately animalistically boorish and any kind of elegance and class is strictly a charade. I don't think that's true, and I am sure that lots of comics have acts that, if not clean, are not angrily, bitterly, excessively and unnecessarily dirty. I just see as many of those acts any more.

A self-made fool.

This is the face of a moron and liar. This cartoonish mllionaire has had every advantage from day one, including being born into a wealthy family (though he pretends to have made it on his own). While he is intelligent, he squanders his intellect on stupidities like questioning Obama's place of birth. At 65, he has decided to be better known as a clown than a successful entrepreneur. While he once was known for the art of the deal, now he is famous for being a braggart, exaggerator, and thrice-married buffoon. He is quick to tell you how intelligent he is (despite many grammatical errors and malapropisms) how successful he is (despite many financial failures) and how he single-handedly got the president to produce his birth certificate. His favorite words are "Excuse me" which are used liberally to stop anyone from disagreeing with any of his unsubstantiated claims. Despite having, according to him, billions of dollars he sports a hairstyle more suited to a truckdriver who cannot afford even Hair Club for Men. He is especially proud of his reality show as he imagines it is the popular favorite of America's intellectual community. He strongly hints that he may be planning to run for president. If he ran and won, could he make America strong again? Well, to answer that question keep this in mind: he lost money operating a casino.

"We interrupt this program for another major non-story?"

This is a dark day for the news media. They proved just how clueless they are and how increasingly irrelevant. Tired of putting up with endless news stories questioning his place of birth, Obama finally released his official birth certificate. In doing so, he also had to scold the infantile press for their constant focus on the birther story as opposed to all the important issues our country faces. But before they broke into his speech, they naturally were gathered around the blustering Donald Trump in New Hampshire, hanging on his every boast, including that he alone managed to get Obama to release his birth certificate. Right after his speech, in which Obama pointed out clearly that there are more important issues that demand our immediate attentio, the idiotic, imbecilic news media launched into still more irrelevent and unnecessary coverage about the release of the birth certificate. As I write this, I can hear these fools in the background blathering away about this non-story while our country's serious problems continue to be ingored in favor of trivia. The news media should be ashamed for ever covering this racist story. But they're not and you can be sure they will continue to leap upon the insignificant and easy to cover items while Rome burns.

Dumb and dumber.

My partner Peter gets very distressed when he hears people say how smart Karl Rove is, or how smart Donald Trump is. It upsets him because he doesn't see these charlatans as intelligent people. Therefore it is infuriating to see them get credit for a special intelligence that he doesn't feel they possess. Rove is considered brlliant because he managed to get a clown into the presidency, an achievement that has resulted in thousands of deaths and an nearly insurmountable national debt. Trump is considered highly intelligent because he has successfully been his own clown, having parlayed a silver spoon birth into continued wealth and created a successful tv show on the bizarre nature of his own personaltiy. I think the conclusion Peter finally came to about these two frauds and other such admired buffoons is very wise. He says,"My definition of intelligence is not being able to fool stupid people, but being able to communicate reasonably with other intelligent peope."

$%#$@##$@#$@##$#@@$$$#^%$$#@@

HBO is allowed to swear Therefore they they think must swear and excessively. To the point it is becoming comical. While waiting to watch the second episode of Game of Thrones, I caught the last few minutes of a series called Treme, which I am not watching. In the show's few remaining moments there seemed to be as many swears—notably variations of fuck—that they could possibly squeeze before the credits. HBO can show sex. Therefore they feel they must show it excessively, but only with the full homophobic exposure of the female body of course. HBO can get away with a lot of graphic violence. Therefore they feel they need to show as much gore and carnage as possible. The Game of Thrones has already had a child thrown from a parapet, a beheading, a marriage scene staged like a rape, and the death of a noble dog for the satisfaction of a stereotypical spoiled young prince. I am sure we are in for many more gory scenes. It seems that what HBO doesn't appreciate is that a plethora of swears, an excess of nude bodies, and an overkill of violence does not quality television make. It can in fact overwhelm the drama and seem juvenile even with shows you want to watch. I probalby would have watched The Sopranos except that it was so unrealistically strewn with cursing and contrived violence. Guess what, HBO, there are gangsters who don't swear and hate the sight of blood. I must admit that they were judicious in the language for Mildred Pierce, though they managed a lot of their allowed nudity (of people you didn't want to see naked). But even that didn't help this tepid retelling of the James Cain soaper. It was ultimately boring. I suspect the same fate awaits Game of Thrones. Despite wonderful photography and stellar acting, this is rather a predictable seen-it-before swordfest. I think we were better off when tv had restrictions, at least on HBO where all they can can write anymore are scenes of violence, sex, and obscenities. Not that they don't have their place in drama, but hey, where's the drama?

Mommy Dearest.

I think commercials like this are nothing short of weird. Did the copywriter have abusive parent and is reliving a traumatic childhood experience at the expense of Kraft Foods? What other explanation for such a bizarre situation? Here we have a scenario in which children are having a swell time with their mother in a neat outdoor tent. One supposes they are planning to spend the night sleeping in the backyard. Then their parents scare them into fleeing for the safety of the house. Why? So they can eat the kid's Jello dessert which is worth about $1.99. This would mean that the parents are either sadists or cheapskates. Why do so many food commercials depict mean-spirited people out to obtain somebody else's crackers, candy bar, beer or chips by any means possible? Does Madison Avenue really believe we're that obsessed with our snacks? Or are advertising agencies today so bereft of good ideas that these cliches are the only things they dream up? What's next? One child murdering another for a Ring-Ding?

Interesting. Kraft also makes Oreos and is responsible for the commercial in which the mother exclaims "Shut the front door." ("Shut the fuck up.") I think the company should look into the family backgrounds of their agency's creatives. We seem to have some severe mother issues here which are affecting the work.

Throwing money away.

I just bought a Florida Lottery scratch-off ticket, the first one in years. I have had a regular Lotto number since the Lottery began and of course have never made more than $5 and not that often. When I scratched the $1 ticket I bought today, there was of course no match, ergo no winning. I wasn't surprised, though I imagine I fantasized I might win something. But I know it's a loser's game and will not, like many players, rush out to buy another ticket. But it reminded me that many thousands of people spend obscene amounts of money on the Lottery in hopes of winning. I see them lined up when there is a particuarly large jackpot, all types, all incomes, all foolish optimists. Frequently I see Cuban senior citizens with stacks of bills and a variety of envelopes play a series of different games with fierce determination. I wonder how many weekly paychecks or Social Security payments are greatly diminished because of the Lottery. I may play the Lottery but I definitely don't approve of it. I think is a sick business when the state gets involved in gambling, especially when they know—as they do—that they are creating financial havoc in a lot of families and tempting addictive parents to spend money on tickets that shoud be spent on their rent, their health care and their children. At any rate, having worked on the Florida Lottery, I have no right to complain about what a depressing and corrupt organization it, and every other state lottery, is. Not that that will stop me.

A dangerous virus.

Who are these repitilian Republicans who are so eager to dismantle the workings of the United States; plunge the working class into poverty; destroy Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security; and leave retirees with a pathetic voucher not good for anything? What is their goal? They can't possibly believe the country will be better off with everyone struggling to just survive. They must have a backroom vision of some kind of new society. But what? All I can picture is Metropolis with the serfs slaving away for the comfort of the priviliged. Or do they have no vision at all? Maybr theyre just stupid bureaucrats who have a few skills like bookkeeping, but haven't a clue how to run a government or balance a budget. Well it doesnt matter if they know what they're doing or not, they have to be stopped. But in recent years the American people have been so passive, so malleable that I wonder if we can even rise up and defy those who already have their boots poised close to our necks. The bug-eye zealot shown here is just one of the incredibly dangerous people who can do us irreparable harm either through malice of stupidity. Pay attention.

"Get off my virtual lawn!"

Why is Facebook invading my life? I signed up for Facebook ages ago, found it a completely boring site and never visit. The few times I did visit, I made me think less of my friends rather than more since so many listed the mundane activities of their life. Only a handful seem to report anything other than where to go for dinner or some silly contest that rated your sexual drive. As a longtme contributor to Huffington Post, I get a great deal of pleasure out of commenting on news stories and even getting into arguments with those who disagree. But lately, after each comment, I get a pop-up. This annoying pop-up asks me if I want to put my comment on FaceBook, which I don't and never will. I have no idea how to get rid of this intrusive visual with its endlessly repetetive question. Has Facebook found a way to worm its way into all our internet activities? If any friends are reading this, I hope I haven't offended you. I appreciate that Facebook is an excellent social tool for those who are social. I am not. It's a wonderful way to keep in touch with family or friends. I have very little family and very few friends. And for that reason I don't Facebook and I don't Twitter.I realize those actitivies give a lot of pleasure to millions of people, but not me. I do, however, love one-on-one e-mails. So if there's something on your mind....

Beneath contempt.

There are lots of words that should make you cringe that such people exist. Child molesters, racists, sadists, despots, pimps, usurers, animal abusers, wife beaters. The list is endless because there are a lot of scummy people in the world. And now we have two new words that describe a particularly offensive subhuman. You won't get to use these words much as they will soon meld into the thousands of other forgotten names for creatures who reared their ugly and empty heads, were reviled, and then retreated under the rock of their anonymity. But this loathsome harridan deserves to be recalled for as long as possible for her despicable act which she regarded as amusing. The name: Marilyn Davenport. This excrement in human form is a tea party activist in Orange County, California ,who sent a racist e-mail of the Obama family to like-minded bigots, an e-mail that I find too offensive to even describe. If you want to know more, all you have to do is go to google and type the name of this Orange County harpy.

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that...again?"

There are some aspects of contemporary life that completely mystify me, and music is one of them, at least the music that plays constantly in every store, restaurant and mall. I don't know who decided that we need to have every moment of our life scored, but obviously everyone agrees since I seem to be alone in my detestation of background music, loud of otherwise (though it's rarely otherwise). I would prefer silence in most social occasions. And, if not silence, at least music that I like, which is never the music I hear anywhere these days. I have to assume that most people are quite content to have second rate singers screaming at them with third-rate songs that are incredibly repetitious Some songs only have a single line. Others a theme screeched endlessly like, "I haven't got time for the pain." or "What's love got to do with it. " Is this really the music people want to hear all day every day? Is there no room for something a bit more classical? Not that I even want that. I want quiet, silence, serenity. I want to choose a book at Barnes & Noble without having to hear Rod Stewart frogging out old standards. I want to shop at Publix without having some pop diva screaming at me on every aisle. In a restaurant, I want a comfortable conversation not a yellfest. I find it impossible to believe that most people really want endless music, that may or may not be their taste, everywhere they go. I can't be the only person who loves, as Paul Simon wrote,"The Sound of Silence." When I was a kid, it was pretty well known that the mafia operated the jukebox industry. Lots of eateries who didn't want to have music were soon persuaded that a jukebox would be a very good idea. I can't escape the belief that even today when a business, any business, opens somebody scary shows up to take their order for a sound system and music program whether they want it or not. That's the only way I can explain the cacophony of mediocrity that assails my ears everywhere I go.

Just for Men Ad - Daddy's Girls

Just for Men is not a company that cares much about logic or truth. The last spot I critiqued had a man sporting his new hair color within minutes of a young woman knocking on his door despite having to leap out the window, hop a truck, purchase the product apply same., dry hair and comb. This is a little bit more realistic with a few major flaws. One is the guy's gray hair looks totally fake. Am I supposed to think these young girls went to the pharmacy, chose the correct hair color, and returned with the ability to convince dad to use it? Also when he's out to dinner with his new babe are those girls home alone? I don't see any babysitter. All right this commercial is illogical, but harmless nonsense, but I do still object to the pitch lines," Just for Men takes five easy minutes and targets just the grey." I've tried it and it takes more than 5 minutes and it didn't cover the gray all that well. Also, how do five easy minutes differ from five difficut minutes?

"Well I'll be a son of a...."

This Oreo Fudge Cremes commercial annoys me for lots of reasons. First because I detest the idea that any one food or snack can inspire such over-the-top reactions. Add to that the fact that the family is partiicuarly obnoxious and toss in that all their comments reek of copywriter-written. But most intriguing is that this spot, which appears to be a family oriented commercial, has the mother exclaim "Shut the front door" a frequent euphemism for "Shut the fuck up." I don't know if the the writer knew what he or she was doing, but cozy kitchen Kraft Foods certainly must have been in the dark as I can't imagine they gave the agency the go-ahead to tear down decades of family values. This spot has already gotten a lot of attention and I don't think it's particularly positive. Wouldn't be surprised if the Oreos client shut the front door on this agency.

Oreo Fudge Cremes Commercial -- Indescribably Good!

Shades of gotterdammerung.

There a commercial running for Bayer Aspirin that annoys me so much that I have to mention it again. Oddly enough I cited it months ago and still cannot find it on YouTube, though it runs frequently. The commercial shows a man on a plane asking the attendant for something for pain. When she profers Bayer, he tells her, "I'm not having a heart attack." The subliminal message being that everyone on earth—and in the air—knows that 50 cents worth of Bayer (no other kind of aspirin, mind you) will cure a heart attack. A ridiculous claim, of course. But one that is suggested often. I happen to find Bayer a particularly deceptive and despicable company, not only for their dishonest advertising but because they obsencely overprice almost all their chemical products for man and beast. In addition, though many people seem to have forgotten, Bayer, a German company, was only too happy to provide the Nazis with the killing gas they needed to carry out the Holocaust during World War II. I know they would like to divorce themselves from their loathsome past but since they still specialize in, and profit from, poisons, I think their heart is still in the business.

It could happen.

I've never been one to believe in aliens from outer space. I mean it's absurd to think that some extra terrestrial life force could land on Earth and wreak havoc. Wouldn't we be able to recognize it right away? For starters it wouldn't have human feelings so it would probably give itself away by acts of cold inhumanity or sheer destructiveness. And even if it didn't, it wouldn't look quite like us, would it? I mean it'd probably have some kind of creepy features, too tall or lifeless eyes or no hair or far too many teeth, something like that. Not that it would ever happen, but if it did—and that kind of creature ever showed up—I would hope that the people of Earth would banish it as soon as possible before it prepared the path for even more such horrors.

No matter what you say, wrestling is gay.

When I was a kid and television was new, wrestling was popular. Back then it was straight. You knew that because most of the wrestlers were ugly, overweight, seedy looking characters like Haystack Calhoun, Gorgeous George (whose name didn't suit him) and Man Mountain Dean (whose name did). These men were huge hulks with lots of dense body hair but very little definition to speak of and outfits that would be spurned by the most liberal of fetishists. They would only have inspired a sexual fantasy in what-were-then-called spinsters. And who was the audience? Your average Joe and Mabel of every age. Contrast that with wrestlers today who are smoothy shaven bodybuilders often with chiseled features, perfect unharmed teeth and fantasy outfits right out of the 300 Spartans. And who is the audience? Still varied, but it includes an awful lot of young men. All right, now these "guys" they may be straight. But I can't imagine why they want to spend their evening watching two or more handsome, beautifully defined musclemen, sweating into eachother's arms and getting into positions that many sexual partners would call too intimate. I think it's a very gay sport, but I could be wrong. After all, nobody I know who's gay watches wrestling. So maybe to these young guys in the audience it's like being a Republican and believing that some day you'll be a rich and greedy pig. In other words they don't have those gorgeous, powerful bodies now, but who knows? someday they may.

Have we forgotten how to listen?

On March 23, in a post titled, "Let's give that set a standing ovation" I complained about how excessive and absurd audience enthusiasm is these days This is an update. Last night on Turner Classic Movies I watched a 1971 interview between Dick Cavett and Bette Davis. First of all I happen to think Dick Cavett is one of the worst interviewers ever. His success astounds me. He is uncomfortable, fidgety, self-flattering, fawning and pretentious. But that's not the point of this post. This is: Bette Davis was a fascinating and incredibly witty actress with a wealth of great anecdotes, which she gleefully shared with Cavett's live audience. They listened and were fascinated, as they should be, and applauded only when appropriate. It occurred to me that if that interview were conducted today, the audience would have applauded wildly at every sound bite. At one point, in discussing her lawsuit with Warner Brothers, she said these two words, "I won." The silence that followed allowed the viewer to absord the significance of that victory. Today, it would have been greeted by inappropriate hollering and hooting. Why? Because today's audiences are no longer content to observe people greater than them. They want to be part of the show. And they are encouraged in that by today's unsophisticated producers who equate noise with success.

"They seemed like such a happy couple."

As a fan of true crime books, I am amazed at the number of women who are beaten or murdered by present or ex husbands or boyfriends. Amazed because these violent men (and often women) usually give so many warning signals to their violent natures. It's a shame that an abused party doesn't walk out after one punch, much less a beating. But I am sure there are lots of reasons they don't: low self esteem, the mistaken belief that she can change him, pity that his father was such a bastard, or the mistaken belief that, "He's trying to change he really is." It would be best to not get involved with these damaged people in the first place. They're not that hard to avoid. Sociopaths are very considerate. They send all kinds of early clues: animal abuse, short tempers, bullying, narcissism, excessive jealousy and, of course, controlling personalities. As soon as someone gives you the third degree about where you were when he called you 65 times, take off. Today I saw a young man on the bus with a 24-point tattoo on his forearm that read, Without Mercy. I am sure some girl will think he's a cool rebel until she finds out what "Without Mercy" means. I think someone with such a tattoo should be avoided as a social pariah until he proves it's a meaningless phrase chosen during a moment of youthful stupidity, which I doubt. They're out there. Pay attention.

That's not Opportunity knocking: It's a Jehovah's Witness."

"If you can build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

That isn't exactly how Emerson phrased it, but it's close enough. And it's bullshit! Or at least it is today. Maybe during Emerson's age it wasn't. But if you built the world's most brilliant mousetrap: a masterpiece or economy that quickly dispatched mice without any pain and made them disappear, you would have to engage a high-priced patent attorney, have a costly prototype, write a marketing plan, research all previous mousetraps, and deal with a hundred other modern day details to prove you had a viable commodity. So, do not sit by the door, your mousetrap in your lap, waiting for someone to beat a path to you. They won't come. I have friends who have written excellent novels that may never be printed because publishers take forever to read manuscripts and often don't respond to anything not submitted by an agent or pal. My partner Peter writes great plays that will not be produced because they fall into the hands of mediocre artistic directors who only want to stage what Broadway staged last year. My friend Sharon creates wonderfully imaginative children's books that may never be read by children because their celebrity-conditioned parents are buying the lesser efforts of movie and rock stars who may not have even written, The Sequined Squirrel or the Absentminded Albatross. I am sure there are hundreds of Susan Boyles out there who will never get a break, never be discovered, and will spend their lives singing brilliantly in showers, amateur shows and choir lofts. Getting noticed today is incredibly difficult and increasingly costly. If you don't have a friend, connection, or famous relative, you've got your work cut out for you. I could go on and on about this subject, but I think I just heard the London Symphony's recording of "Three Blind Mice" play from my latest "No bait required, painless mouse trap and incinerator with disposable ashtray feature."

Case in point: Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria just published a cookbook: Eva's Kitchen: Cooking with Love for Family and Friends. While I am sure that it's probably a charming cookbook, do you think that if she weren't a star it would ever have been published? Of couse not. And you can be sure there many more much better cookbooks that will never be publlished.

OutFoxed.

Glenn Beck is leaving Fox News. That isn't a departure; it's a flushing. Even though no intelligent person respects Fox News, it's nice to know that this little cretin won't be spreading his venomous agenda on this popular partisan propaganda machine. He will, of course, slither into some other medium and begin hissing his hate-filled messages immediately, hoping to sink his fangs into a new demographic of gullible goons while bringing his loyal lemmings along with him. In his new medium it's possible that when listeners can't see his cherubic/demonic face and blackboard they may find him less of a messianic sage and more of a deranged bogeyman.

When did the talkies become the yellies?

I just came back from going to the movies. I say going because I actually went. I just didn't stay. Not that I didn't want to. I was in the mood for an action film like Battle LA. What I wasn't ready for was ear-blasting sound, sound so loud that even the plugs I always put in my ear were no help at all, sound so loud that Cameron Diaz's voice in the coming attractions nearly knocked me out of my seat. I had to complain twice and it was still too loud. I would have felt it was me, except my friend, for a change, agreed, and the pre-teens in the same aisle complained as well. So now I have another good reason to never go to the movies again. Add it to these other reason. Movies are too expensive. Refreshments are beyond expensive and consist of increasingly noisy and smelly selections like nachos and onion-smothered hotdogs. Audience members talk, put their feet up on the seat in front of them (often with bare feet), and either talk on their phones or text. Too often you're sitting among sociopaths, judging from the way they laugh when an innocent person is slaughtered. And newest of all is the people running the theaters are blase teenagers. This means that every time I go to an AMC theater, the sound is too loud (like today) or off completely, the screen has not been opening properly, the auditorium is too hot or too cold, and often the picture is upside down. All these problems without even addressing the fact that most films suck. Battle LA was actually the only film worth seeing, and it's not exactly inspiring. So, since we couldn't watch the film without permanent damage to our hearing, we requested our money back from the 12-year-old theater manager. Oh, well, it won't be long before Battle LA comes to cable for only $4.99 and popcorn only costs about 55 cents.

The secret information everybody knows.

Every time you see a report on idenity theft or other scam, you are admonished to never give your Social Security number to anyone. But every time you go to a medical office, they will not even talk to you until you have provided all pertinent information including, and especially, your Social Security number. So do you or don't you? It doesn't matter. In most cases, you have no choice. Everybody seems to be desperate for as much information as possible these days. I just tried to access a list of opticians. But, like most sites today, they were not going to provide that information until I became a member, which I don't intend to become. Why do we have to become members (with passwords yet) of every on-line source we might use once and never need again? It's just another one of our sheep mechanisms: something we respond to and never say, "baaa."

Nobody's even mad as hell...

I hate to tell you this, but America has gone nuts and nobody really seems to care. Think about it. We had a booming economy and we made all kinds of wonderful and admired things, and we just shipped it all overseas where we can receive neither profit or respect. Nobody's complaining very loudly. We used to have a two-party political system with rational idealists on both sides. Now we have three parties if you count the crazy teabaggers. We still have the idealists, but now all sides are deranged. Nobody seems to mind very much. We used to have phones in our homes that never, ever needed repair and rarely needed replacement. But we gave them up for the cheap disposable phones they make overseas, many remote handsets that require $15.00 batteries every few months. We once had free TV, but we gave it up for the privilege of paying for everything we watch, being excluded from what we can't afford, and instead of having the promised fewer commercials we have many, many more. We used to go to the movies for an economy night out. Now movie tickets cost a lot, but not nearly as much as the concession stand popcorn and candy we once could afford. We used to have nightly news that was actual world news so we knew what was happening in our troubled planet. Now we get the late-breaking reports on Hollywood troubled divorces and the latest details over every celebrity in court or rehab. Back then we had settled the religion issue. Freedom of religion. Worship whom you like. No argument. Now we are constantly aware of religious zealots, mostly Christian evangelicals,who want to change the Constitution, govern every woman's birth decision, and—if they could—annhilate anyone enjoying unapproved sex. Once we were interested in films about real people, films that were praised because they had interested, well-written stories. Now,with few exceptions, we're more interested in serial killers, anti-heroes and aliens and our only standard for success is box office. Today we have no anthology dramas. Most of our TV fare are reality shows, quiz shows aimed at the education level of of 12-year-olds and sitcoms whose humor is almost exclusively based on sex, the toilet, and putting down one's supposed friends. Drama shows on the other hand are rife with cancer, violence, opening bodies and more serial killers than probably exist in the real world. We had variety shows featuring the country's leading dancers, musicians, opera singers, even acrobats and comics. Today the only variety shows are overproduced award shows; the only music is country or rock and roll. Of course if you want some culture, there's always NPR, but the Republicans, seeing culture as evil, want to do away with public radio and TV. Society has never been worse. All right, there were lots of things wrong back then. But we weren't wrong. Because we were moving forward, economically, socially, politically and every other -ly. But at some point, we threw up our hands, started distrusting our neighbors, clung to our various religions and started believing every single thing we were told by the increasingly impotent news channels, especially that that wealth and fame is more important than anything. So now we live in a society that's more divisive, more expensive, more agumentative, more insular, and more shallow while being less cultured, less educated, less communicative, less prosperous and less civil. And if Howard Bealle asked us to go to our windows and shout, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more," we'd probably say, "I'm not mad about anything," and "Take what any more?"

It just takes one.

For the past six years, instead of having a regular television set I have had an inFocus projector, which allows me to watch a clear, bright, wall-sized picture. It is especially satisfying when watching Cinemascope films which are projected about seven-feet wide. In addition to loving the projector, I was amazed at the company itself. InFocus always answers the phone quickly; takes your telephone number so they can call you back in case they lose the call; and has the most refined, articulate and amiable representatives. I always thought of them as the creme de la creme of businesses and recommended InFocus to anyone interested in projection tv*. I'm sorry to say that image was spoiled today by a single young man who, while not obnoxious, had an inability to explain a fine point of company policy without sounding defensive and dismissive. There's no point going into the point of contention. This post is basically to remind us that no matter how much a company knocks itself out to create a high-quality image, a single undiplomatic person can sully your high opinion. I still think InFocus is a great company, just not as great, and I can't imagine why anybody has a tv set, when they could have a whole wall of programming.

*I know. I know. Everybody capitalizes tv. I refuse to do it. Television is not a capitalized word, so why give the initials that distinction?

Note: No. That is not my home theater. Not even close.

Unethical Pharma Ad: Niaspan from Abbott Labs

Someone obviously is as offended by the Niaspan ads as much as I am. So I can't add much more to this video which, rightly, attacks the Niaspan ads.

No matter how often I watch it...

...I don't understand this commercial at all. And I have a sinking feeling it's very obvious to most viewers, so I probably shouldn't admit my confusion. It would appear this man is at a job interview. When he mentions that he loves his bank's Raise Your Rate CD, the interviewer hears other declarations. Why? Is it because nobody loves their bank, or no bank has ever had a Raise Your Rate CD so he would have to be hearing wrong? If so, that's not clear at all. Besides lots of people love their banks. I love my bank. Just because there are scummy, money-grubbing, lying, cheating financial institutions like Bank of America, and Citicorp who don't want to give their customers one extra dime doesn't make this commercial believable if, in fact, that's what it's about.

Ally Bank | "Interview" Commercial

Person-proof containers.

Is nothing made well any more? Let's discuss medicines. Right now I am using a cream for a rosacea-like rash. The tube is annoying because the cap does not fit properly. It seems that it was not threaded correctly so one has to hold it just right to replace the ill-fitting cap. At the same time, the contents seem to escape the tube without squeezing so while attempting to replace the cap, one is being oozed upon by a cream which is not completely without its dangers. I say wasting because this small, poorly designed tube of prescription medicine costs $129.00. Another equally costly prescription medicine I take daily is Avodart (don't ask!). These widely prescribed yellow capsules have the peculiar flaw of sticking together. So in attempting to shake out a single dose, I get a clump of capsules that look like a science project. As it is almost necessary to rip them apart, it is prudent to remember the WARNING on the label: If contact is made with leaking capsule, wash immediately with soap and water. Wouldn't you think that a multi-zillion dollar pharmaceutical company like GlaxoSmithKline could solve this problem?

No happy ending.

Are we all living in a fool's paradise? Is Japan's nuclear accident more serious than we know? I read today that the radioactive water is running into the sea. That can't be good. Since most of us know nothing about nuclear waste, are we the unknowing masses in the science fiction horror film who are completely in the dark while the leading characters work feverishly to bring the disaster under conrol? Is there a multi-billionaire villain sweating it out, hoping the problem is fixed before he has to admit defeat and fly off with his family to a remote aerie before an angry mob tears him apart? Or will the anxious scientists and workers seal those renegade reactors in concrete and give each other high fives knowing the world has been saved? And, if so, will the last scene of this movie be an aerial shot of an American reactor, followed by a medium shot of a worker leaning back in his chair, chatting on his cell phone, just as we hear a shrill screaming of a malfuction alert. The End.

Equal time for hubby.

Since I have spent so much space on Michele Bachmann, I thought you might like to see her husband, Marcus. He leads a very profitable and meaninful life trying to cure people of sexual addictions and the even more important Christian goal of curing homosexuality. I assume that Michele, believing she can become president, has plans to make her husband the Sex Czar. His role would be of course to help us all avoid sexual preoccupations and the evil of evils, masturbation. If you want to see the kind of obsessions he is bravely trying to cure, check out The Dump Bachmann blog. Anyway, shown here is photo of Marcus with the girls and a flattering illustration that captures his charming sense of gay abandon.

"May I (beep) help you?"

People and companies do so many things that mystify me. Here's one that I was exposed to today that has been annoying me for months. Barnes and Noble in Coral Gables has a very nice store with a great cafe and an excellent CD/Video department. The latter is where I have my problem. Some device in that department—like our own home fire detectors—must have a battery. When this battery wears out, the device emits a beep every half a minute or so until the battery is replaced. Nothing unusual about that. What is unusual is that the store has not replaced the battery and the beep has been emitted every few seconds for several months now. Each time I got to the store, I expect it to be repaired, but all I get is beep, beep, beep, beep. I asked the clerks why it hasn't been fixed. Like most salespeople today, they seem to have a fear or engaging in a conversation or answering a question incorrectly so they just give me the helpless expression or the "I don't know" line. You would think being exposed to this repetitive beep would drive them crazy. But that must not be so, because the beep goes on.