Monday, April 20, 2015

Taking a break.
















Starting tomorrow I will be on an extended vacation. Since I am a Luddite, it is unlikely that I will be writing any posts, but you never know. In the meantime, I hope my loyal readers will not desert me. And keep in mind I have written more than 2,300 posts. Surely you haven't read them all!

P.S. Don't you love it when someone uses a photo that is at least 20 years old and tries to pretend it's recent? Of course the damned Selectric is a dead giveaway.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Graham, cracker.

Just when you think there couldn't be a more ridiculous selection for presidential candidate than Rafael Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul, Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican from South Carolina, hints that he may run. At least the other clowns in the car have delusional fans who admire them for whatever bizarre reason. But Lindsey, from what I can glean, has no fans other than John McCain, and his prissiness is hardly going to win the hearts of those redneck voters who are highly suspicious of a single man his age who is also named Lindsey. Well, I don't think we'll be seeing Lindsey's bonnet in the ring as he is very unlikely to be able to raise the kind of money needed for such a fool's errand.

Finally!

It appears that at long last —long last—the finger of guilt for 9-11 is pointing toward Saudi Arabia. Of course, I can't imagine why that wasn't the case after the horrific event when we knew that 15 of the 19 terrorists were Saudis. But instead of questioning those in Washington, D.C. including members of the royal family and relatives of Osama Bin Ladin,their good pal President Bush allowed them to fly home when all other flights were grounded. Brilliant move! So far it is suggested that the spoiled royals of the country merely agreed to look the other way while a plot against America was taking shape. So, at this point, nothing is conclusive. But at least now the government is finally asking the questions they should have asked the day after 9-11.

Know-it-all.

The Republicans of North Carolina, with their usual evangelical zeal, wish to put a statue of evangelist Billy Graham in the state capitol once the old bastard is dead and buried.  To achieve this goal they are making a big fuss as to how Bill's statue would replace that of Governor Charles B. Aycock, who served from 1901 to 1905. I don't think it makes a bit of difference whom he replaces, Billy Graham may be been a wildly popular worldwide evangelist, but he is also a money-grubbing con man. I utterly dislike Graham, not only because was a proven anti-Semite, or that he vilified John F. Kennedy because he was Catholic. Not even because when I travelled to Europe on the United States, Graham, also a passenger, conducted services for "first class passengers only." I dislike him because, being an atheist, I regard all such preachers as charlatans and scam artists, making millions by telling people how sinful they are; living like princes while creating guilt in the gullible poor. Also believing in the separation of church and state, I don't think public property is the right place to honor religious figures especially when it's just another ploy to cram Christianity down America's throat.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Liar. Homophobe. Traitor. Zealot.


Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee suggested Friday that young Americans not join the military until President Obama leaves office because he has, "an open hostility to the Christian faith". Another Huckabee lie, of course, since Obama is a Christian, but, being a president he believes in the separation of church and state. Huckabee who would love to head up the American Taliban and rid America of any nude statues, apparently dreams of a military where Christian-only morning prayer would come right after reveille, and  having a "girly" magazine would be cause for military prison or discharge. Of course he would never allow gays  to serve their country in the first place. Also did it occur to this fat fuck that if—god forbid—a Republican were elected all those young people who waited to join might be just in time to be slaughtered in Iran. Huckabee is a sanctimonious, repressed, bigoted, racist, homophobic, prissy pain in the ass. And to me, creeps like him are also traitors as is anyone who is out to lie about and vilify our president. I am not religious, but spent enough of my youth at Ruggles Street Baptist Church and am familiar enough with the New Testament to know that Jesus would feel about Huckabee as he did for about all liars, stone throwers, haters, and hypocrites. 

Only the car has class.


What is the point of these creepy commercials? (This is one in a series.) How does showing us a old woman who is both senile and a compulsive liar sell a BMW? And if she's eighty, she's too old to be his mother. And why is she addressing her leather comment to the children in the car? I think this is another case where the gullible client was hornswoggled by the reward-conscious agency.

The case of the vicious vet.

The most despicable person of the week is Kristen Lindsey, a Texas veterinarian, who I hesitate to call doctor since she doesn't deserve the title. This sadistic vet who describes herself as "awesome" bragged online that she killed a feral cat with a bow and arrow. She included a photo of herself holding up the dead cat as a trophy. First of all one must question the mental stability of a doctor who enjoys killing a cat, even a feral one. But this cat it turns out, wasn't feral but a missing neighborhood pet named Tiger. Happily this stupid monster lost her job, incurred the hatred of her community, and hopefully will have this incident follow her wherever else she pretends to care about animals.

Note: To show what a sick f---- this woman is, this is the message she posted with the photo of someone's murdered pet: "My first bow kill, lol. The only good feral tomcat is one with an arrow through it's head! Vet of the year award ... Gladly accepted."

P.S. As a good friend points out in comments, this cat killer was so stupid she didn't even use
the correct its.

Friday, April 17, 2015

It's a dud! It's a turkey! It's a Sharp Navigator!

It is becoming increasingly impossible to reach companies. You cannot find them listed on the internet. If you do there is no address, no phone. My complaint today is with Shark Vacuums. I am now using my third Shark Navigator Cordless Vacuum, and like the other two it works fine-twice! Then, despite the most careful maintenance and filter cleaning, it is unable to pick up a dust bunny or piece of paper. This nice looking machine is useless, and so were the other two. I cannot believe that I am the unlucky consumer who has been stuck with the rare dud. So since I cannot reach Shark for an explanation, I will encourage any of my readers to avoid a Shark product unless you also have a good Bissell carpet sweeper, a dustpan and broom.

Cain and Cain

If I had a brother who was responsible, through deceit, for the deaths of more than 3,000 American citizens and had caused thousands of others to be blind, deaf, crippled, mentally impaired, I would be ashamed. If this same brother has also caused the destruction of  the homes of thousands of families overseas, and even caused their innocent children to be murdered, I would not be able to face the everyday world. If that brother then went blithely along with his life and never shed a tear for all the chaos he created and never lifted a finger to help those whose lives he disrupted, I would not be able to associate with such a monster despite familial ties. And yet a person with such a brother constantly states how much he admires his mass murderer sibling and is passionately seeking the opportunity to be in the same position of power.

Lying on the beach.


One of the things you can be completely sure of in this world is this: If you are watching a BP commercial, it is absolute bullshit. BP is a greedy unrepentent polluter. They did incredible damage to the Gulf and affected the lives of thousands. Their only regrets are that they were caught in the act, and have to pay billions. Since they want to keep pirating the oil off the coast, they produce these commercials which lie about what good deeds they are going, how much they have spent, and how effective is has been. And another thing you can be completely sure of in this world: They will screw up again.

Make it stop!

I watch fewer and fewer stories on the Internet. Not because I'm not interested. Naturally I want to know that the junkyard dog found a good home. And, yes, I'm curious what makes the makeovers of two middle-aged women so special. But not if it means I have to watch a 30- or 60-second commercial. I will reluctantly put up with one of those, "You can stop this commercial in 5 seconds" deals, but nothing longer. I seem to be the only person who is outraged by the unnecessary amount of advertising that we are deluged with. Bad enough the commercials you expect. But you can be reading an on-screen article when all over a sudden an audio commercial is pouring out of your computer. I have to leave the volume down on my computer to avoid these intrusions. So, if if means giving up a lot of articles, so be it. Did I really need to know how successful they separated Siamese twins?

Thursday, April 16, 2015

I'd rather spend time with the Aussies.

Now that Roku has allowed me to have Acorn and streaming Netflix. I see no reason to ever watch American television.  I think U.S, series pale next to those of England, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. Among the excellent—commercial-free—shows I have seen already are: A Place to Call Home, The Blue Rose, Accused, Murder in Suburbia, McCallum, Line of Duty, Anzio Girls, and Murder Team—all better than the glossy, jumpy camera, model-pretty cast, commercial-riddled American series. Sadly the foreign sitcoms are not much better than ours despite their far more talented actors. Like ours, too many episodes are based on sexual conquest (yawn). Ah, but the dramas. Excellent. Of course we have quality programming from PBS (mostly British) and the products of  HBO (which are mostly about drugs, murder and sex). So while I have many friends who rave about that dark, dismal throney thing, I only keep HBO for Bill Maher.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Tennessee Taliban.

Many members of the Republican state legislator of Tennessee, never having heard of the separation of church and state, or not having enough schooling to read the Constitution, have advanced a bill to make the Bible the official state book.Since the House of Representatives is Republican-controlled this kind of insanity is hard to avoid. Naturally these zealots are not concerned that this offends all non-Christian religions, not to mention atheists, and even true Christians who avoid this kind of evangelical madness. In fairness the Attorney General said it would be unconstitutional, and Republican Governor Bill Haslam has called it disrespectful. But when you have a majority of 55 rigid, unChristian, narrow-minded, fundamentalist bigots who haven't a clue what reasonable thinking involves, then absurdities like this happen. States like Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Indiana will all be so much better off in the future when all these mostly elderly crackers have died off.

Oops. Did I choose the wrong photo? These fantatical groups are all so much alike.

In the Running
Rafael and Marco
Are in for a fight.
Randy has declared himself,
And Carly just might.
Jebby seems to think
The Bush name is an in.
And Christie is certain
If he runs, that he'll win.
Taking the leap are Ricky and Rick,
One is a dodo, the other a prick.
There's Bobby, of course,
With the big goony grin,
And Ben, who thinks Repubs
Don't think about skin.
There's comb-over Donald,
And sleepy-eyed Scott.
And Lindsey, (who knows?),
Right now gay is hot.
Then, of course, we have Mike
So pompous, so fat.
He's got God in his corner.
He's certain of that.
But they're all armed with Bibles,
And attacks on Obama.
Ready to dredge up Benghazi,
But be mum on Osama.
They'll weave lots of lies
And deceive with their spins,
And whimper like babies
When Hillary wins.

Yoo hoo.

The nicest thing about Scientology is when you find out a friend, relative, or acquaintance has been hooked into this absurd cult, you don't have to deal with the awkward and painful process of dropping them. Because once they've joined this "religion" they're not allowed to associate with non-cultists. Talk about convenient!

P.S. Now that everyone knows that Scientology only got its undeserved tax-free status because they blackmailed the IRS into providing it, why isn't it reversible?

The face of leadership?

Chris Christie, during a recent interview with radio host Hugh Hewitt on the prospect of running against Hillary Clinton said, "If I run, I will beat her."  First of all I doubt he could even get the nomination, and if he did run there is no way he would beat Hillary Clinton. Why in the world would the American people want this arrogant, overweight, sweaty, jowly egotist in the White House? Is he a liar? I think so judging from the fact that he said he had lap-band surgery. If so, I sure as hell don't see any major weight loss. Then he's had all kinds of excuses for Bridgegate, none very believable. So he either authorized that petty revenge, or he is such a bad administrator he really had no idea of what was going on. Either way, he loses. Forgetting all that, he's cranky, short-tempered, rude and incredibly conceited considering his most recent line, "If I run, I will beat her." This from a man who I am sure is incapable of actually running.

Monday, April 13, 2015


One thing about living in Florida, you always know what tomorrow's weather will be. I think this skit from The Fast Show makes it perfectly clear.
It seems to me that Ancestry.com is a bullshit company. I signed up and gave them my name and my parents name. When I told them I didn't know my grandparents' names they said they couldn't go any further. Great. That isn't what was suggested on their endless commercials in which they boast they are experts at researching your family tree.  Apparently that's only if you know who your ancestors were and when and where they were born. And if you do, I don't see why you need Ancestry.com.

Here comes Rubio.

Ladies and gentlemen and children everywhere, this Monday (honk. honk) Marco Rubio has announced he is running for the Republican (squirt. squirt) nomination for president.  Two other clowns have already leapt out of the back seat, but what till you see what other hilarious candidates are hiding in this very crowded clown car.

Fidelity, the most common blackmail.

I have heard so many women say, "If I caught my husband cheating, I'd divorce him." I have also known of women who, finding out their husbands cheated did divorce them...usually full of vengeful fury.   Frankly if I were straight and married and my wife made such a statement, I would leave her immediately. Why would I want to stay in a relationship whose only foundation is the vow of fidelity, that if broken negates anything else that went into a marriage. How sick to suggest that every happy memory and moment of closeness can be destroyed by a single dalliance. How controlling to tell your husband that he is forbidden to ever have a sexual encounter with another women, and if he does, the penalty is a harridan who is angry, bitter, vindictive, and revengeful, not forgiving, not understanding. Why the hell would any man want a wife who can so easily turn on him? That would mean that he does not have a loving spouse, only a spouse who is loving if she can control his basic nature and have him surrender to her most stringent, and non-negotiable, demand. Everything else, apparently, has no real meaning. This is also true for the unforgiving husband. I had a female friend years ago who was in her 40s and lonely. I asked her if she ever had a relationship. She said yes. He was attractive, successful, kind, fun to be with. They were happy. But one day she found out he cheated on her. So she dumped him. Now she's alone with her self-righteous anger instead of in  a home with a family, married to this nice guy who just may have had one or two meaningless dalliances every year. And so what?

A Reagan to admire.


I was delighted when a very religious friend mentioned this commercial to me. This is certainly a time when we need freedom from religion with so many news stories about evangelicals trying to impose their warped view of Christianity on the entire nation. Hopefully more and more atheists will come out of the closet making the agenda of the American Taliban even more difficult. Freedom of religion is an absolute necessity in America, and freedom from religion is every bit as important. Thanks, Ron.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Another really annoying advertising cliche.

It's a single word. A single irritating, overused, and often meaningless word. Hacks love using it to suggest that they have done something with the ordinary, the mundane, the everyday. Sadly one sees this thorn of a word more and more every day. I've seen it in two commercials just today.

                    Reimagined.

"Your place or mine?"



The following passage from the bible is one of the very few to address homosexuality. And it's no big deal. My guess is that the prigs in the so-called Holy Land heard about all the fun the Greeks were having with their same-sex coupling and orgies and like American evangelicals were so bitter and jealous they said god didn't approve. (Like he was going to say anything.)  More references against homosexuality in the bible are as skimpy as a Speedo and hardly worth closing a pizzeria over. After all those judgemental pains in the ass back then had all kinds of rules of behavior. Marriage (wed as many wives as you can handle); food (don't eat shrimp it's too delicious); adultery(anyone who enjoys sex should be stoned); go to church every Sunday (sleeping late is so sinfully wonderful!) And I'll never understand why, if God was such a brilliant designer, man decided he screwed up when he put too much flesh on the penis. All this stupid biblical passage really tells us is what we already knew: Homosexuality has always been around, and so have prissy moralists unable to mind their own business.

"For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error" (Rom. 1:26–27).

More ad cliches.

An award-winning art director friend with a career even longer than mine wrote to tell me the kinds of commercials that annoy him. I agree with all his pet peeves. A person holding giant signs with messages and dropping each one as he delivers his pitch. Actors delivering lines while dressed as giant objects: fruit, animals, plants, the sun. Commercials that exaggerate the competitions' rudeness or incompetence (e.g. TD). An actor speaking to someone off-camera that turns out to be themselves in a mirror, or, worse, an object like a coffee pot or cleaning solution. Then there are commercials that stand alone in the hall of shame, notably the previous Swiffer campaign that romantically paired inanimate objects before they wisely chose the wonderful old couple who were "living in a fool's paradise."


Friday, April 10, 2015

Not again.


Having been in advertising for 40 years, I have seen a lot of commercials and ads. I recently asked myself what is the most overused cliche in advertising, the "concept" that any art director or copywriter should be embarrassed for using? I've decided there are a few. The most pathetic cliche and the one that makes me cringe every time I see and hear it, which is still often, is any commercial using the Richard Strauss tone poem Thus Spake Zarathustra hoping to create the same kind of excitement (and always failing) as the music did in the 1968 film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Wow! That's 47 years of ineffective borrowed interest. Another major cliche is any ad or commercials that uses this theme: "Not all deodorants are created equal." Substitute any product, copywriters have been doing it for decades. Since there are pathetic cliches on television every night, I will add to this whenever I can. Did I ever use a cliche? Yes. When presenting a campaign to the Springfield Institution for Savings in Springfield, Mass. 30 years ago, I used the already tired theme, "The bank that wants to say "yes"" a horrible cliche that has been used in any number of commercials for any number of products. How could I have been so stupid?


I don't get it.

It seems like stupidity is rampant everywhere today. My latest exposure was at Sears. I had gone to buy, at long last, fire extinguishers for the house. It turns out that Sears had only one left, and none in stock. I asked them if they could order more. They agreed. However, they felt I should pay in advance for the number of fire extinguishers they would order. Why, I asked, wouldn't you need them in stock anyway. Yes, the agreed, but that was an item they wouldn't order without a customer's request. So apparently they were out of a valuable safety commodity: fire extinguishers. But they would not order more until a customer requested one or more and paid in advance. Is there something I'm not getting here?

Thursday, April 9, 2015

All the heads you'd like to see on a stick.

Next year, it appears, will be a free-for-all in the run for presidency. It seems like any Republican idiot is eligible. Our state is contributing two egotistical morons to the race: Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio. Jeb thinks he's qualified because his name is Bush and if daddy and bro got the job, why can't he? Marco is the bubble-headed naif who says, "I'm not a scientist" therefore has no interest in addressing global warming. Hmm. That should be helpful in a president. He thinks because he's Cuban any Spanish-speaking citizen will vote for him. Since I don't speak Spanish, I'll have to say, "au contraire." Then of course there are the lightweights (brain-wise) Rafael Cruz and Rick Santorum;  and in the heavyweight category(weight-wise): Chris Christie and Mike Huckabee. Another possibility is Ben Carson who apparently hasn't noticed that Republicans don't care for blacks. And since they also don't think very highly of women, one is surprised to see Carly Fiorina ready to toss her bonnet into the ring. What fun it will be so see them figuratively kiss the asses of the evangelicals by swearing they adore Christ and don't believe in evolution. Rubio will probably plagiarize someone's speech. Jeb will stupidly say he admires his war-criminal brother. And there will be enough missteps, malapropisms, inaccuracies, downright lies, and attacks on President Obama and future President Hillary Clinton to make it fascinating viewing.

Note: Yes, that is the forgetful Rick Perry at the end of the fan. I doubt he would consider trying to run again. And, don't panic, Sarah Palin is only included for comic relief, which these days is the only reason she is included in anything.


Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Pepperoni for brains.

If you need any more proof that bigoted evangelicals are among God's stupidest creations, here's all you need to know. The owners of Memories Pizza after closing down due to supposed threats based on their self-righteous pseudo-Christian homophobia received (at this point) $800,000 in donations. Do their evangelical donors think we're going to be impressed because they gave money to a couple of dodos who refused to make pizzas for a gay wedding, a situation which wouldn't have happened in a million years anyway? What did they prove? That a fool and his money are soon parted. So now the sanctimonious O'Connors have enough unearned cash to open another pizzeria which will soon get a reputation for evangelical bigotry. I certainly hope for their sake (not) that the IRS representative checking out all those income-increasing donations for the IRS isn't gay.

What did Anne say?

Anne Frank wrote. "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." I think she was right. And if she could be that optimistic during the horrific reign of the Nazis, we should be able to take heart against American bigotry. I think that these narrow-minded evangelicals, homophobes, and racists are a shrinking and shriveling minority. The only reason so many Republicans give them any credibility is because they think the same way and cannot see the greater good of the American people. In recent years America has greatly embraced gay marriage; they have turned out en masse to protest racial bigotry; leading corporations have publicly expressed outrage at unfair laws. Barack Obama is our president, elected twice. Bigoted celebrities  like Ted Nugent are the very rare and ridiculed exception.  Fox News, though popular with conservatives,  is not a respected network but a media joke. Even today a cop was arrested and charged with murder rather than being given a pass on killing an innocent man. While the Republicans are denying climate change, thousand of people world-wide are working on solutions. Sadly the lazy media has no interest in promoting good news so we are more often inundated with dismal stories that makes us pessimistic and paranoid. But I'm sure if they did report all the good things that happen every day we would think, like Anne, that people are really good at heart.

P.S. Enjoy this moment of positivism from me. I can't guarantee it will last.

The government's treasonous goon.

What America does not need now nor ever again are warmongering idiots like Tom Cotton who haven't a clue what they're talking about and have no judgement and no heart. This traitorous asshole moron has said that eliminating Iran's nuclear facilities with U.S. missile strikes would take a matter of days. This from a Arkansas rube who hasn't a clue what he's talking about. I'm sure he would have thought that the war on Iraq would only take a day or two and we would be greeted as victors and showered with flowers.  None of these Republicans seem to appreciate that Iran is a civilized country that is ruled by autocrats by populated by good-hearted, intelligent people. But no, sadists like Cotton want us to bomb this country and kill its innocent citizens. They're not real people to jerks like him. There are many utterly dangerous men in Congress. Tom Cotton has already shown that he is one of the most dangerous, because he's one of the least intelligent.

What if?

What if Al Gore had been elected because Americans saw right away what an asshole Bush was. There would not have been a war with Iraq. Thousands of young Americans would still be alive and with their families. Thousands of others would not be blind, deaf, or crippled. Gore would have addressed climate change and made our environment safer. He would have handled Katrina better. His Secretary of State might have anticipated 9-11. He would have made us more popular in the world, not the laughingstocks that Bush made us. Without the war in Iraq, sects like Isis would never have gotten a start. Our economy would not have suffered as it did under Bush. The Tea Party wackos would never have gotten a foothold in government. Iran would still be run by a dictator, but it would be stable and all those innocent men, women and children who died horrible deaths would be alive. And why are we in this state? Because all the misguided and foolishly partisan Republicans (most of whom haven't a clue that they're really Democrats) voted for George Bush and not the best person for the job. Let's just hope they never do anything that disastrous again.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Sen. as in senile.

If you're wondering just how much these Republicans really care about the future of the United States keep in mind that John McCain is seeking his 6th term in the Senate. Never mind that he is nearly 80 years old and unable to provide a sharp focus when needed. Never mind that he made one of the biggest blunders in political history when he chose the vapid Sarah Palin as a running mate. Forget the fact that he is often forgetful, petulant, overly hawkish, and excessively belligerent. He doesn't really care what's good for Arizona, just what suits him. His ego demands that he win another term as Senator and to hell with what's best for Arizona or the country. Of course he's been coasting on that prisoner-of-war legend for most of his career. I guess he thinks that's enough of an entitlement. Maybe for most people, it is.

A life filled with hate.











When or when are we going to see the last of blathering old fool? He is so jealous of Barack Obama's youth, brilliance and popularity, he has to have an entire book ghost-written to vilify our president.  This old bastard has no idea how many Americans his ego has killed, how lucky he is to not be in prison for life, how blessed he was to able to steal a heart that should have gone to somebody worthy, and how fortunate he is to have a daughter as sadistic and stupid as he is to parrot his every evil utterance. Cheney cannot survive much longer with so much vitriol rushing madly through his collapsing veins and when he dies it will be a very happy day in America.

Monday, April 6, 2015

"Would you like to rethink that, Randal?"

As a copywriter for 40 years, I feel qualified to judge the merits of a slogan. And I think that Rand Paul in announcing his run for the presidency tomorrow has come up with one of the stupidest slogans I have ever heard: "Defeat the Washington Machine. Unleash the American Dream." What the hell does that mean?  First of all nobody wants to defeat the Washington machine, even if it were a machine. Using this really dippy analogy, one  might want to improve it, modernize it, retrofit it, but defeat it-no! Then we have part II of this absurd slogan. Doesn't one unleash something that is wild and dangerous. Is the American dream something savage that has been suppressed for years? Is it even safe to unleash it? And what does that mean? Is Rand Paul suggesting that he's the superman that could bring down this venerable, yet combative machine? that he's the gamekeeper who can unleash the snarling, vicious and unruly dream and keep it from biting or running away.  I suspect that after he gets enough guffaws over this truly comical, illogical, and ill-conceived slogan, he'll come up with something new. At least one hopes so. Plus, even worse, it doesn't rhyme.

"Silly me."

In a 2009 voter registration application former Florida Governor Jeb Bush mistakingly identified himself as Hispanic. His spokeswoman Kristy Campbell reports that, "...his family certainly got a good laugh out of it." If he were ever president (God forbid) and made an equally inexplicable blunder on an article of legislation or treaty, I wonder if the American people would get a good laugh out of it.

The Lucy nobody loves.














There are a lot of strange things about this life-size bronze statue in Celeron, New York. The strangest thing is that it is supposed to be Lucille Ball, though it looks nothing like her nor any other human being. Also strange is that it has been there for six years when the city should have refused it from day one. Strange also is that visitors pose with it which makes one wonder why they would want to be seen with anything so ugly, especially if they are Lucy fans, which most people are. What's not strange is that the residents of Celeron want this monstrosity removed, a.s.a.p. and replaced with a statue that does justice to one of America's most beloved comediennes. And finally what's really, really strange is many Celeronians have suggested they would like the original artist to create the replacement. Can anyone splain that to me?

Friday, April 3, 2015

"Ever been to Broadway, Mike?"

Poor deluded Republican homophobics. They couldn't get their hate laws passed with as much vitriol as they wanted and now they're saying that gays are terrorists and bullies. Super homophobe Mike Huckabee has even suggested that gays hate America. I wonder if this tubby twerp appreciates everything that gays have brought to America. In art we have David Hockney, Andy Warhol, Keith Haring and many more. In music Leonard Bernstein, Aaron Copland, Lorenz Hart, Cole Porter, Jerry Herman, Stephen Sondheim and many, many more. In theatre, Tennessee Williams, Edward Albee, Jerome Robbins, Arthur Laurents, Tony Kushner, William Inge, and dozens of less-famous playwrights. In entertainment Johnny Mathis, Ricky Martin, Richard Chamberlain, Rock Hudson, Montgomery Clift, Penn and Teller, Nathan Lane, and many still-closeted icons. In sports, Greg Louganis, Billie Jean King, Orlando Cruz, Megan Rapinoe and a raft of others. In fact, I would suggest that if you took away everything that gay men and women have given to America, you would have a much less varied and colorful country that wouldn't be nearly as much admired. And what has Mike Huckabee given to America but hate, prejudice, religious bigotry and a constant living reminder of how badly some diets fail.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

The Chase Scam.

I got this message in my e-mail today, I have gotten it before. It' obviously a scam that encourages Chase account holders to provide some sleazeballs with their banking information. Fortunately I don't have a Chase account, and would have recognized this as a fraud from the pathetic use of English. But I hate to think of the number of Chase customers who are duped by this kind of con game. Obviously there is a "click here" follow up asking for all your name, social security number, and account number. Despicable.

Dear Customer:
For security reason we notice that your your online banking Account need to be updated in our new
security system database.Please understand that without promptly update your account may be discontinued or suspend in our new database.

The new Front Desk.

I think I'm alone in this: But I detest hotel reservations services. When I book a hotel room I want to talk to someone at the hotel, someone on site who is familiar with the hotel's amenities and surroundings, not some stranger in Pocatello, Idaho, who one can only reach after jumping through various hoops and pushing buttons. The very fact that the hotel is eager for me to have to deal with these annoying services suggests they have no real interest in their potential guests. I realize that today it is almost impossible to speak with someone at the front desk of a hotel. More often than not you are connected with some overly cheerful boiler room clerk who instantly turns sour when you suggest that $400.00 a night is a high price to sleep in a bed and watch tv.Traveling used to be exciting, romantic, adventurous, and affordable. Today it is cold, clinical, computerized, obscenely overpriced and, I suspect, destined for a downfall as more and more travelers feel as put upon as I do.

That makes two I know about.

One can assume that every year heart transplants and those of other organs go to undeserving recipients as well as those who are completely worthy of having their lives extended. It is sad to think that a valuable and loved person died for want a heart that went to a criminal or someone in power who jumped the donor line.  In the news this week Anthony Tremayne Stokes, 17, died when he lost control of his car. It appears that not only was the car stolen during a carjacking but the driver was involved in a home invasion. Ironically Anthony had a heart transplant two years before. That's the second criminal I have read about who received a heart transplant.

America's dumbest senator runs out of feet.

You would think junior Senator Tom Cotton, a Republican (what else?) from Arkansas would stay out of the limelight after his ill-conceived and treasonous letter to Iran. But this inept moron is back in the news with his newest ill-conceived comment. Apparently Tom feels that the gays of American should be grateful that they are not living in Iran where they execute homosexuals. If this isn't one of the dumbest and most insulting remarks of our time, it's right up there. My answer to Tom Cotton is that he should be grateful that he's not living in any number of other countries where they execute traitors.

The wackos of Walkerton.

At a certain point the stupidity of so many Christians in Indiana becomes more comical than annoying. Take the case of Memories Pizza in Walkerton. Their warped attitude is that they that will sell a pizza to a gay on location, but will not provide pizzas for a gay wedding. This despite the fact that nobody ever asked them or probably ever will.  Well this apparently led to threats, which led to them closing shop,which led to a fundraiser set up by Dana Loesch the always tight-lipped and pissed off host of the Blaze network. "Nobody should ever have to suffer or suffer alone for their faith, for standing up for Christian principles" Loesch spewed on her broadcast, without actually quoting the biblical passage regarding the principle of pizzas and gays. An even dumber (if possible) remark was uttered by pizzeria co-owner Kevin O'Conner who said, "That lifestyle is something they chose. I choose to be heterosexual." Obviously a short-order cook with pepperoni for brains who chose to be moronic.  Anyway O'Conners have already received $40,000 in donations so I guess promoting hate beats pushing pizzas.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Parasite.


It's interesting how so many of the intolerant moralists like U.S. Carnival Raymond Burke are fat, elderly repulsive trolls that nobody would want to go to bed with anyway. No wonder this better-than-thou nutcase says that gay couples and divorced or remarried Catholics are like "the person who murders someone and yet is kind to other people." I don't even understand what that means, but I'm sure this sanctimonious pain-in-the-ass has a whole catalog of equally judgemental and cryptic comments. Growing up in Boston, I saw so many of these freeloaders who feed on the lavish teat of the Catholic church. They were always in the best restaurants having costly meals and expensive wines, their drivers waiting patiently outside to take them back to the rectory where they could relax in their sumptuous surroundings and develop still more rules for working people to follow.

Get ready to scream!

One of the most important things in modern society is hysteria. The sound of audiences screaming hysterically or applauding beyond all reason is what keeps so many shows going and has done so for decades. Wheel of Fortune would not be successful at all if the audience and contestants weren't prompted to overreact and applaud madly at the turning of a letter. Family Feud would be a flop if it weren't for the unseen audience screaming its enthusiastic approval at every off-color joke and exploding in congratulatory glee at each mildly amusing response. Let's Make a Deal would have died ages ago if the audience didn't act as if winning a new set of china weren't a cause for wild rejoicing. It's amazing how much of our entertainment is based on a group of nobodies yelling, clapping, screaming, whistling and reaching emotional crescendoes over the most insignificant comments and pedestrian giveaways.

Not worth starting World War III.


A Texas lawmaker sponsoring a religious freedom proposal (read right to hate law) asked in defense of his bigoted bill, "Should a Jewish bakery have to bake a cake for a neo-Nazi convention? (Like they'd ask.) Or should a gay florist have to give flowers to a Westboro Baptist protest?" (Since when do they bring flowers?) My answer is yes. Don't get your undies in a knot because someone you don't approve of wants to pay you good money to provide a service. It's not a big deal, but getting in an emotional heat and filled with self-righteous hatred is a big deal in a free country. Especially when you're not really expressing your religious beliefs, but looking for one more reason to be viciously angry, one more excuse to be a self-righteous bigoted prig. State Representative Matt Krause a Republican (what else?) from Fort Worth just wants  to hide behind a law that allows him to be a nasty evangelical, homophobic piece of shit. Those kind of laws are evil and destructive and completely unnecessary in a free society. Besides many of the people who want this law, including Herr Krause,  would be more than happy to bake the Nazi cake and provide the Westboro flowers.

The Citibank Shuffle

Recently, while planning a trip to Washington, D.C., I was astounding at how costly most hotels were. (And, yes, I consider $350.00 a night costly.) So I decided to use my Citicard Reward Points, which I have never used. I was told that I had 55,000 points worth $528.00. So I asked them how much it would cost to stay at the hotel that was asking $350.00. The rep (who said he was in Columbus but he sounded far more exotic) said he could get me a room with a king-sized bed and my cost, in addition to the 55,000 points, would be $200.00. Amazed I asked how much the room was. He said $728.00. For one night! I figured he was confused and called again today. Same story, and every other hotel the new rep quoted sas $600.00 plus. Some reward. I asked if there were a cash value. Yes, says he, and connects me to someone else. This person says the cash value is much less than the $528.00. It's $250.00. Perhaps I would like a gift card instead, He named many retailers. I chose one. What's that worth? I ask. $528.00. Now that makes sense. So as far as I can see the hotel rewards are kind of a scam since I only had a choice of overpriced properties. Maybe other people now how to play this game. I don't.